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Thread: Bringer Of Fate.

  1. #1
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Bringer Of Fate.

    Bringer Of Fate

    He trotted vigorously amongst
    his fellow brothers of conspiracy.
    Swarming the streets which
    once bred a vibrant array.
    A far cry from what they were.
    These streets now host
    crimson flames that tell a said tale.
    .
    .
    .
    His presence evoked exhortation
    sending trees into a rattling frenzy
    as they too feared his wrath.
    My feet were rooted to the ground
    which roared, cheering this sinister
    man who bled with hate.
    .
    .
    .
    He fed on the flesh of minority
    using the anger of the weak
    as a part of his lethal arsenal.
    A monster who's eyes barred
    the scars of false hope and shattered
    dreams that never took flight.
    .
    .
    .
    Its prejudice that conceived this
    blithering act f ignorance
    "Time is the best healer".
    Does that apply to people
    of foreign origin dwelling
    on our ragged shores???

    The time has come for us
    to silence the "Bringer Of Fate".
    Let us dissolve this monster called
    Xenophobia in his own pool of blood.

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


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  2. #2
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Last edited by Soul Slayer; May 27th, 2008 at 09:54 AM

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


    [soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]

  3. #3
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Re: Bringer Of Fate.

    Uppin this for feed....

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


    [soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]

  4. #4
    Born from Ink Spekz.'s Avatar
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    Re: Bringer Of Fate.

    I liked how you told the story as though the bringer of fate was an actual person, so i guess im saying the small twist at the end caught my eye as being what truly drove the piece...cuz i was honestly waiting to see like hitlers name or something along those lines at the end..but nice lil switch up. The language was broad, not all that detailed which created more of a general story telling piece than a vivid imagery stricken piece...it was sound in most respects, and was smooth. To criticize i would say that the lack of imagery hurt the piece, and although i just think the overall direction of focus on the concept was to broad and could of been heightened with a bit more attention on specifics...

    anyways minus a few of those things which i guess could be more personal preferences it was a sound piece, with a good/short storyline that although broad was able to grasp the reader with appropriate language, and its smoothness.

    RTF!
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