A Loss to Remember [Cry & Angel]

[Cody Nash]

A Loss to Remember
By: B.W. Angel & Cry






"Look up to remember him...
and by the end of this you'll all be fooled."


Hold yours as we remember his breath for
one single etch in time... he holds a head
high, but as we follow his lead he laughs
and points with that "Made You Look"
chuckle. Rubberneckin's what he called
it, willingly we look up to him now while
our legs almost buckle, right down to our
feet. he's now inside me... he... she...
every piece lodged in the entire family.
we think back and remember a loss,
none of us have found the speech...
...but still we think -
"how can it be?"

The flow of time and its partner death,
a system so cruel and indepth...
taking a life that was so great,
ruining forever this day and date
he fought every twist and bend
until eventually he broke in the end.

"What's that? RUBBERNECK!"

he was funny... always being a goof...
but like any human... he wasn't deathproof.

"Sorry 'ol man... time to run...
see ya after prom."

That was the last time I saw him
as the next few days grew dim,
his life left from his hands...
it fell to deaths demand...
but... from January to December...
this is... a loss to remember.


and we say:

Goodbye Grandpa,
Goodbye Uncle,
Goodbye Dad,
Goodbye Son,
Goodbye Cousin,
Goodbye Brother,
Goodbye Friend,
Goodbye Family...





May 2nd 1943 - April 21st 2008.
R.I.P. Robert Ronald Andrade

[Cody Nash]

links will go here...

[Jawn Raw]

this isn't that bad, creativity wise it was kind of middle for me. but the storyline was solid and the word choice wasn't bad. overall i enjoyed this piece had a sick flow and great imagery. not really so much of an original piece but it had a really great ending to it, could almost here this into a song.

rtf
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...29-367706.html

[Addict]

Thanks ill get on that later along wit a link or somethin


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...de-367870.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...by-367919.html

[Addict]

Both links up and got back at Para.

[Cody Nash]

^good job... I'll get to that later too Para...

[Addict]

You shittin me...Come on with the feed...

[Addict]

up...

[Addict]

I hate you people...

[Zumiez]

I lost my Grandmother in March so I can completely relate to this. If I look at this from a writers point of view I thought that it prolly could've been a little better in terms of vocab and imagery, but if I look at this from a readers point of view I felt like this poem puts things into perspective. It reminds me that loved ones aren't here forever. I can totally relate to this.

he was funny... always being a goof...
but like any human... he wasn't deathproof.

That^ was subtle but dope.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ah-367712.html

Feed would be greatly appreciated on that^ thnx.

[Addict]

Thanks for the feed and i hit ya back. Bring on some more!

[Ntalek]

This IMO was nothing more than an enjoyable read..I mean both of you delivered..but you didn't really seem to step outside the box as far as imagery...I mean it was there..but just as it should be..the storyline was aiight..not the most original but not the most played either..so that gave it a interest factor...I dont know who wrote wut..but it all seemed to mesh together well...as far as the mechanics..but some rhyming parts gave it a bit of a topical flow...overall this was a decent read..I enjoyed it..RTF pls..



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...oy-368638.html

[Addict]

Thanks, Ill do that after school or somethin