Am I or was I

[Jcorm]

Withering shadows cross my vision
Behind them I see light shine
Though the darkness it grows
.
.
.

I can see


As i opening my eyes to places far away I mourn the past
The remains of glorius triumph no longer prevail my thoughts
Scattered tattered and torn I linger on through the wind
Flowing gracefully through my veins as it seeps within
.
.
I can't see

The blackness gives an errie calming to my hell forsaken mind
I am waiting for something that never comes or hopes to be
Not even a glimmer of hope appears in any shape or form
I turn to the evening moonlight to guide my pointless journey
.
.
I can think

The sparatic racing objects fire neurons throughtout my body
I tense as I yern for an answer but get no responce
Deaf ears are none to yell at as I mutter to myself about past
As my point of view changes my outline still remains faint
.
.
I can't think

The standstill of time asks my question to no avail
I cannot continue this point of view for much longer
Since the seasons are leaving, i might as well follow
I have no choice in the matter, it must be certain

[Jcorm]

up......

[Standard Issue]

I kind of dig this. On some emotional, deep seeded feelings. I like the fact that you worked it into separate stanzas, as it would have felt like too much in a single grouping. Try to make your writing to the work. Show us the images so that you do not have to describe them. Nix some of the bigger words that look good, but only serve to confuse some readers. Overall, this was a pretty solid piece, but just try those two things and see what you come up with.