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Thread: Fire in The Sky

  1. #1
    Born from Ink Spekz.'s Avatar
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    May 2006
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    35
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    3,184
    Battle Record
    37-24

    Fire in The Sky

    Fire in The Sky
    By:Spekz.

    Dusk begins to embezzle
    The remains of the golden reign.
    While faint sight struggles fear,
    our fixating eyes soon glisten
    Off the stilled reflective water,
    Playing hand with our survival.
    Silence directs our blueish lips
    For we have become guests.
    As darkness recites prayor
    On tide to embody host
    For we dine captive
    To a starving night.

    Lost, we prepared for amazement
    Yet the only walls confining us
    Hold breath, as we float.
    Choking back frozen tears
    Brisk air punctures a reddened chest
    clothes mummify stranded humsicles .
    Bodies living on the wills of their peers
    fearing the night will swallow life.
    Splashing waters promote energy
    Hoping for a sign of savior.
    The raft begins to thrash,
    Tossing as though possessed.
    Devil fins split the water
    Turning calm tides
    To hell bound currents.
    Fear stuns those still breathing,
    Shaking in pools of good-byes.

    Few remain living now
    Resting on torn rubber.
    Limbs seem completely lost
    Breaths sigh but barely.
    One of the men decides
    To pull the trigger to the heavens
    Praying the fire in the sky
    Will bring them the warmth
    Once granted by life.

    HONK…HONK

    Eyes wander livid
    Inside a bodied casket
    Recognizing the sign of help.
    A frozen smile breaks ice
    To those still fighting.
    Time passes as though
    Traveling by glaciered tug.
    As the saviors arrive
    To the destination lit
    By that of the fired sky
    they simply relinquished hope
    just as the flame of life
    did for those who dined
    as the meal served
    to the blood chilled night.
    Succeed Without Fear



    Written Voices

  2. #2
    Born from Ink Spekz.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Age
    35
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    3,184
    Battle Record
    37-24
    Succeed Without Fear



    Written Voices

  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: Fire in The Sky

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=6328618
    feed me please?



    Interesting way to change it up a bit in the end dude. Liked it quite a bit. Wording was really something here dude, you always have the most well written piece when you write dude. And it's great. The imagery is always very visual in your pieces dude. Vivid description of lines.. really nice. Emotion was pretty cool as well in this read dude. Liked it, keep writing bro. Not one of your best, but a good read with little to critisize.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    12,432
    Battle Record
    21-3

    Re: Fire in The Sky

    Word this was dope..I was really feeling the wording in this piece...very descriptive..and it made more of the already fine tuned imagery you placed throughout this piece..I think the overall topic and concept was cool...your take on it is what had me into this read...all of your mechanics were up to par in this piece..man so props on a good write..and could you RTF pls...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ft-365861.html

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