Schizophrenic voice
Pacing around in my mind
I’m never lonely
Chewing at my straps, screaming;
The walls are closing in, slowly
Killing what little sanity I have left
Lingering inside of my mind as I…
Sit on the edge of sanity ready to jump
Into the abyss; the nothingness
Inside of my heart; no feelings
Of regret nor love will fill me
Just a sense of someone’s eyes
Peering into my soul; seeing me
For whom I really am inside.
I sit in my own silent schizophrenic
Existence; rocking back and forth
Uttering in coherently:
“I was crazy once, yes I remember
It’s all coming back to me now
I was placed in a room, a dark room
I died in that room; maggots feasted
On my brain in that room
I was crazy once, yes I remember”
Bashing the back of my head into the wall
As I rock; my eyes open from my own
Self-induced sleep deprivation; I can’t sleep
I must watch for the people attempting
To destroy my fortress of solitude
And derail my train of thought; killing
My plans of escape; electro shock
Vibrating through out every inch of me
I actually enjoy it; the feeling
Reminds me of my mother shaking me
As a baby for not being stillborn
I love my mommy; she loved me
The burns from her cigarettes still
Loiter on my arms and legs,
And I really miss those days
Being thrown against walls; and...
Traded as a slave for a eight ball
My mommy always came back for me.
Blood gushing from my head; eyes
Glazing over, but I am still awake
Waiting for my time to strike, but
I can’t move; the straps on my jacket
Restrain me physically; mentally
I am unstoppable; except from myself
Fires of rage and panicking deep inside
Rises slowly to its boiling point;
Biting off my fingertips; eating the flesh
Down to the bare, brittle bone; pain
Doesn’t hurt me; it only proves I’m alive
Blood trickles covering my dirty jacket
In a shade of crimson; I rock harder
Putting cracks in the wall leaving a stamp
Of scarlet trailing down the brick path
Curling around the corners and into
Every nook and cranny flowing down
Until it finds the end; I lay lifeless
My breath is shallow; my heart
Doesn’t beat; fear lifts off my chest
All feeling exits my withering corpse
Fading slowly out;
Of my mind; I gave myself
A lobotomy.
Reply With Quote
Pz.
