close my eyes, count to ten..
but it really doesn't help anything..
hypocrisy's just an ugly mask covering up insecurity
and hatred - not anything desirable..
yet i find myself being peered at through the eyeholes
of it on a daily basis..
i'm not wanting to seek refuge - i'll stand here
proudly, proud of what i have..
it's unbelieveable - a mere amazement to me that so
many things can happen in this world.. yet lightning
tends to strike more than twice in the same spot that
i've been foolish enough to stand on..
at this point it's useless to even worry about things
that i have no control over.. but it feels like i'm standing
six above shaky ground..
suicidal intentions don't feel my brain - i'm too wise for
that shit.. but this ground keeps crumbling, and i'm too
foolish to step to the side..
a curveball always is unexpected, and man did i get one.. i
wish it had been my fault - i coulda just said fuck it and
moved on..
but no.. things just had to be too strange to be true.. but
there's no need to pinch myself, i'm feelin' too fuckin' hurt
inside to do that..
i guess i'll just stay here on this crumbling ground and see
what happens.. will things move, and somehow i'm magically placed
on higher ground?..
.. or will I fall deeper into this fault and slowly just be split
apart..
i honestly don't know - i'm not a predictor of things to come.. i'll
just stick to what true, WHAT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME, and see what happens..