My Fault?..

[Heychoo.]

close my eyes, count to ten..
but it really doesn't help anything..
hypocrisy's just an ugly mask covering up insecurity
and hatred - not anything desirable..
yet i find myself being peered at through the eyeholes
of it on a daily basis..
i'm not wanting to seek refuge - i'll stand here
proudly, proud of what i have..

it's unbelieveable - a mere amazement to me that so
many things can happen in this world.. yet lightning
tends to strike more than twice in the same spot that
i've been foolish enough to stand on..

at this point it's useless to even worry about things
that i have no control over.. but it feels like i'm standing
six above shaky ground..

suicidal intentions don't feel my brain - i'm too wise for
that shit.. but this ground keeps crumbling, and i'm too
foolish to step to the side..

a curveball always is unexpected, and man did i get one.. i
wish it had been my fault - i coulda just said fuck it and
moved on..

but no.. things just had to be too strange to be true.. but
there's no need to pinch myself, i'm feelin' too fuckin' hurt
inside to do that..

i guess i'll just stay here on this crumbling ground and see
what happens.. will things move, and somehow i'm magically placed
on higher ground?..

.. or will I fall deeper into this fault and slowly just be split
apart..

i honestly don't know - i'm not a predictor of things to come.. i'll
just stick to what true, WHAT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME, and see what happens..

[Spekz.]

Links?

[Heychoo.]

i'll get em later.. trust

[JUstintime]

pretty good some parts it feels like the flow is off

check out some of mine tell me what you think

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...65649.htmlhttp http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ts-365643.html

[p O e T i Q u E]

it's unbelieveable - a mere amazement to me that so
many things can happen in this world.. yet lightning
tends to strike more than twice in the same spot that
i've been foolish enough to stand on..


I feel you on this right here....Love the way you worded this phrase. I like the whole poem, just seems like your flow was a lil' off but good job!

[Heychoo.]

right, right.. leg. feeback and i'll return the favor..

[Heychoo.]

i'm serious.. legit feedback and i'll rtf..

[HighEngineChief]

I liked this, it was a little simple but you had some nice sarcasm and witty phrases. The overall tone of this piece was kind of funny, you expressed your ideas in a mundane yet very impactful way. I loved the lightning strikes twice line, felt you recycled it in the next stanza, same idea different approach, but it was still enjoyable. You had a couple grammatical errors, just revise this a little. All together a well rounded poem, nice subtle language that speaks to every common man, not just poetry majors.

RTF on Damned If You Bleed Till The Last Drop Splash

[Poeta Demonio]

Get two links or closed.

[Heychoo.]

Ryan.. are you retarded? didn't you see where i put i'd rtf on the first 2 pieces of good feed? which i'm going to do by tonight.. chill, that rules gay anyway

[Poeta Demonio]

I couldn't agree more, but non the less, as it was a decision passed y the rest of the mods and the rest of PS in general, i can't do shit about it but abide by it. So yeah, get those links... And no, i'm not retarded. lol

[P. Mortuus]

Good job here my dude this was a very good read IMO......Simple but you made it fun and you got your point across. I laughed out loud alot. Don't that many people insert sarcasm into there shit and you did which was new.Just like HEC said you did have a couple of noticeable grammar errors,nothing I payed to much attention to but overall good job.