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Thread: where the cockroaches kiss

  1. #1

    where the cockroaches kiss

    struggling to smell the difference
    between the pefume she wears behind her ears
    as you teeth at her quivering neck,
    and the stench of the motel where you fuck like strangers
    but later call it sex;
    where the you forget whether it's dusk or Dawn
    and just remember you'd forgot to call her.

    her throat opens wide
    as the moan bleed into traffic horns,
    police sirens, and mouths as filthy as their children
    spit glass across the mattress
    filled with eight naked body bags
    and of course you two-
    squirming as if you know what your doing
    with his forearm pinning down her greasy hair-

    she pretends she likes it rough
    just because she thinks he does.

    they rock back and forth like infants
    trying to remember what it was like
    to sit in their mothers arms and feel
    what love really is-
    without the crooked smiles that forgot
    the difference between disgust and lust
    just because it's always so painful
    that the corners of her mouth have just learned to lift
    with her skirt to make the tears look like his work
    paying off, without showing the shadow of a doubt
    -that is still trying to figure dusk from dawn
    so it can decide wether or not it's time
    to make an appearance.

    if home is where the heart is
    -it makes sense they'd be so hollow.

    they lock eyes,
    but only because neither has the key
    to what the other is really looking for.
    they stare so deep that room blurs;
    their pupils grow so wide they swallow each other whole
    -they stare so deep into each other's eyes
    that they just look right through to the other side,
    and feel just as alone as they did
    the day those dusty old vintage motel sheets
    started to collide.

    they've been fucking in the same rotten room
    for so long
    that their standards for the outside too
    are gone.

    he'd of never known he climaxed
    if he hadn't fallen out of her broken spirit
    and into the pages of the bible
    that wasn't even placed in room 12's cracked nightstand.
    it would have served no purpose
    to the two who'd stoop so low as to continue spending
    eachother when knowing all along they were
    worthless.

    so they smoke the broken roach clips,
    left in the ashtray
    from the moment they noticed-
    neither one even smoked.

    they'll make it ruitine and call it adventure
    as the habit forms and the love becomes indentured
    -two slaves wondering which is the master
    as they both eat the leather
    and clentch their teeth reaching up towards the rafters.
    she used to call for jesus
    and now she's call for me
    -she used to call for jesus
    but she never believed,
    it's just what she thought you're supposed to do.

    and we'll keep fucking like we're siezing today
    while tomorrow giggles behind the curtains
    and the night masturbates
    in the room next to ours with his first date.
    and i'll keep telling this story in third person,
    and i'm sure she'll do the same
    because we never loved, we lusted
    but never knew the way-
    we never trusted ourselves to get there,
    so we stopped at a motel along the way;

    with each stop we take,
    we get a little closer
    to getting further away.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    1,851
    Battle Record
    3-0

    Re: where the cockroaches kiss

    Honestly, I thought the piece was a little long, if not excessive. However, the story itself was immaculate. It had a very vivid vibe about it. Like I could imagine everything unfolding before my very eyes; and not only the physical motions, but also the intangible emotions as well -- which was extremely impressive in my opinion. You really sucked me and made me want to pay attention to everything that was going on. Not to mention the poetic language and voice you wrote in was on a professional level. There were just so many lines jammed pack with high quality wordplay and thought provoking lines. Just so many phrases to look for and appreciate. Had the piece not been so long and so consistently on point I wouldn't have minded going back and quoted the portions I enjoyed most. However, this shit was just way to massive to even attempt something like that. At least given the fact that I'm in the library and not really in an environment that allows me to really get into it as much as I would like to. Anyway, you still got it Atti...this piece proves it. HOF material through and through. So props my dude. Pz

  3. #3
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins

    Re: where the cockroaches kiss

    links please
    A few achievements here and there

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF

    Re: where the cockroaches kiss

    One more day to get links.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

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