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Thread: Calliopes Byronism

  1. #1
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Calliopes Byronism

    Calliopes Byronism
    -an artist of truth

    A villanelle will,
    has fallen vigorously;
    On the lips of Eden.

    Platonic emphasis,
    plays footsy;
    With my charcoal coated
    -heart
    Ancient is my past;
    silly is my attitude.
    bare witness to my actions;
    for my consequences…
    …fare with the wind.
    Felicity parlays satisfaction,
    wrapped gently…
    …around my barb wired surface.
    -grinding my heart to pieces

    Generosity isn’t close,
    but kindness sits…
    …genuinely with my heart.
    -please understand

    .
    .
    Careless to my emotions,
    I am left alone;
    With no one to lean on,
    Oh but despair;
    seems stained with a burden.
    A burden to each is own,
    bloody Mary is that merciful.
    Crucial dividends,
    bend shyly –a natural attraction
    Negate the affection,
    of eyes wondrous of your talent.
    Repudiate the emotion,
    spilt as a left over to your heart.
    Exclude the smiles,
    that are pertinent to unhappiness.
    It’s all collateral damage,
    franticly appending-a morale breakdown
    Infatuation bleeds,
    on the thorns of a medley.
    -a melody of tears
    .
    .
    .
    Serenity
    .
    .
    .
    Is
    .
    .
    .
    Obscure
    .
    .
    .
    A second look,
    was more easy does it.
    Because the tune,
    that was produced the first time was rusted.
    I almost trusted.
    Into your words,
    I fell a hundred of feet’s down.
    Tried to make way,
    for a come up but I couldn’t play to the crowd.
    Listen in now.
    .
    .
    More words poise,
    than an ivy left in a vein.
    I left you in shame,
    in return you all left me in pain.
    I tried to remain,
    so I could reason and stay.
    But poor contingents,
    skin my thoughts away.
    My heart stepped on,
    and left as a broken display.
    As my fingers cringe and crumble,
    I leave it to my instrument…
    .
    .
    to
    .
    .
    save
    .
    .
    the
    .
    .
    day

    Creased unhappily,
    with screams of fooled fans.
    If only they knew,
    it wasn’t me;
    It was the tune that was produced…
    …that should be applaud.
    -I just let it be heard

    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
    Soule
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    Re: Calliopes Byronism

    We MUST collab sometime soon...

    Hit up 'Waiting. . .' in return dude.


    Wording and imagery was beyond dope in this piece dude. Your wording flowed so well and carried me like a rockingchair down this poetic river.. really loved the shit. And Imagery was so fucking visual and vivid, it drove me fucking crazy dude. I imagined the whole thing, really worked out for me man. Emotion was pretty cool too, grabbed me right from the start dude. And in the end, flawless read. Nom'd

  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Calliopes Byronism

    thanks Dagel...


    link me again and ill feed when i get back on cause im about to bounce...

    just wanted to post my to OM's and my Poem
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  5. #5
    Soule
    Guest

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Calliopes Byronism

    word will do!


    bumpin for notice
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  7. #7
    fLAMEDUBBALLERGATZ
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    Re: Calliopes Byronism

    Pretty solid. Since you already know that this was good I won't stroke your ego. Here are some criticisms-

    Sometimes I felt like you were too wordy. Generally, your advanced vocab worked for you, but it can also bog a piece down. Especially in poetry, when you have a very small amount of room to work with, concision is key. Well, its not that you were too wordy, its that you were a little inconsistent. Sometimes you were too simple and sometimes too complex. I know I'm not one to really talk...and that actually leads directly into my other criticism: sometimes this felt a little choppy, but that has to do with the wording which was sometimes a mouthful.

    But, it was good. Check my shit out.

  8. #8
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    Re: Calliopes Byronism

    I'm sorry. I'm reviewing the HOF right now and I have to say, learn how to use semicolons in the right way. You can't just stick them anywhere homie, they're not commas.
    murder murder

  9. #9
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    Re: Calliopes Byronism

    word this piece was really good. hof worthy possibly. the imagery blew my mind and the creativity was there to back it up most times. the storyline was pretty cool, the topic choice was pretty creative as well, this is probably a tourney topic though. i dont know. the flow was really good for the read, i really enjoyed this piece regardless. the word choice was strong as well. overall nice drop mr. write, you def have some writing skills.

    rtf here
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...55#post6394755

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