If It Were Us..

[XM]

If It Were Us.
Written By: Xtreme Malice


“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.”
-Gloria Steinem

Intro:
The lightest of skin complextion, the shoes on the other foot
Tho rightous moral directions, the skewers been over looked
So fighting against perfection, just hope it gets understood
Infestions wilst our progression, the sooner we get it took.

Dressed in my favorite garments, the blackest layers of night..
..stick harnessed, darkness atonished i've seen the light as my target
Poorest beings roaming the hooded whether few minor...
..or teams, woest me? violent reaction fore these peasants can foriegn me
Band of brothers for the cause hands out? I leave them hanging..
...another for my quota, strikes down light'n w/ thunder
Claims plunder bite through the chains see I favor the hunger
Watching flesh corrode the minds, drips through dreams n' wonders
Clash close enough to feel the bleeding pleads of the last..
..so dangling over my head I'd hear the screams on a high note
Stregnuous waste pacing until the end line hideous...
..race numb the leggings of their defeat more of a stimulant base
Symbolism is great as long as they remain in the present..
...box their past if they have a future even heavens shocked
Each new senses its pleasure of necks on the beheaded slots
For the night is young and death seems to be on its eleventh knot
Matters not these torn infested lotus are needed sure..
..renge armed before the bloom of these flowers pure?
How could they? lacking intellegence seems these facts..
...are irrelevant, their different with a hellous scent
Pessimistic in the prime of a proper tense...
...it's sad this could be the thought of those of us wearing skin

Outro:
The sooner we get it took, infestions wilst our progression
Just hope it gets understood, your fighting against perfection
The skewers been over looked, Though rightous moral directions
The shoes on the other foot, the darkest of skin complextions.

"Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right....
...Nor Would It Make Us Even"-Xtreme Malice

[XM]

Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ng-365048.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...me-364594.html

[Ntalek]

Nice to see you back on the scene and glab i was behind the scenes of the dopeness...first off your wording was good and your vocab really stood out in this piece..it really helped convey the emotion of the piece as well as the imagery and you did damn good in both departments..the topic I really like and the apporach was even doper..the content seemed so heartfelt..with the intro and outro really putting emphasis on the reality of the situation..but turning it all around was the dopest part...the shoes on the other foot part..really helped bring the topic to life..overall dopeness...and you've got my nom..thx for the read..I really enjoyed it.

[XM]

Thanx for the feed its really appreciated, wish you were on it to collab the topic and thanx for the nom. its been a long time but im back in the mix.

[Soul Slayer]

I was wondering when you'd get back to OM. Ma jaw simply
dropped when I viewed this piece man. It seemed real to
as I was there or something. In other words you captured
the imagery very well with your ammo of words. It was an
organized read and was very solid indeed. Emotion was ever
so present and this was very fluent. Real beautiful man.
I enjoyed this read and this should be up there with the
best that I've seen so far.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ne-365000.html
If you get the chance

- Tific

[Dayvid Aimz]

This was dope I loved how you flipped the topic and did the if the shoe were on the other foot type analysis.
This was a very good read and very well-written
You chose good vocab throughout and the rhyme scheme was onpoint.
It seemed to get better towards the end.....these were my fav. lines:

Each new senses its pleasure of necks on the beheaded slots
For the night is young and death seems to be on its eleventh knot
Matters not these torn infested lotus are needed sure..
..renge armed before the bloom of these flowers pure?
How could they? lacking intellegence seems these facts..
...are irrelevant, their different with a hellous scent
Pessimistic in the prime of a proper tense...
...it's sad this could be the thought of those of us wearing skin

real poetic lines....liked those the best.
peace and stay active.

[XM]

Appreciate the feed guys, and Vince i use to do poetry i think ima start back on that also.

[I Write...U Bite]

i'll hit this up in a bit

[XM]

I'll await you feed. Thanx for your time.

[I Write...U Bite]

this ish was not bad material right her...the flow was on point throughout the whole piece and it gave me a nice little rythm in my head to follow so i was feelin that aspect for sure...the imagery was good as well and the emotion was ther because the topic was something that has been a mainstay in our society unfortunately so its the type of thing that pisses you off...i liked your take on said topic as well. Your vocab was on pointy tip...so yeah man, all in all this was an on point type of affair...keep up the work which is good.

[XM]

Thanx for the feed. Uppin.

[the_origin]

this rite here was beautiful (no homo)... ya vocab was on point in this. Imagery was dope i could see and feel the emotion on the face of the random person that the piece was about. Topic was dope and the flipping of the intro and outro was crazy. this one gets a 10

[Messiah Kaeto]

Alright Fella,

..Thought I'd jump in and show ya some HnR support too!!

I gotta say, Very Impressive. Overall, from the imagery through to the flow, including the vocab and the multi's, everything fitted superbly..

My personal favourite passage is which I have quoted below

Claims plunder bite through the chains see I favor the hunger
Watching flesh corrode the minds, drips through dreams n' wonders
Clash close enough to feel the bleeding pleads of the last..
..so dangling over my head I'd hear the screams on a high note
Stregnuous waste pacing until the end line hideous...
..race numb the leggings of their defeat more of a stimulant base
Symbolism is great as long as they remain in the present..
...box their past if they have a future even heavens shocked
Each new senses its pleasure of necks on the beheaded slots
For the night is young and death seems to be on its eleventh knot

Absolutely superb man, .. Thoroughly enkoyed the read.

Keep the creative juices flowing, the mental sword sharpened, and get that FL fixed! lol

Keep up the great work

HoF whaaat?

Peace & God Bless.

[XM]

No doubt thanx everyone for feeding and for those who think its HOF material i'll be working on another piece this weekend.

[Mono]

okay, first off, I really, really enjoyed your use of rhyming here, it wasn't that it was easy to read, because it wasn't, it was just that you didn't give a FUCK about where it rhymed as long as it did, which shows the artist side of you more in my own personal opinion, you had some unique ideas in here, I didn't agree that it really portrayed everything it NEEDED to, but the ending was surely the kicker, "nor does it make us even" is about the brightest approach a man can take to it. Skin color is inevitable, don't let it change how you think.

alright read. Take care.