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Thread: Death Proof

  1. #1
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Death Proof

    "Death Proof"

    Rampages of blades - slice membranes;
    close cuts like a Barber Shop in New York York's closest shop.
    It didn't faze me, life reoccurred like perennials.
    Shots grazed skin; like it ricocheted off oceans,
    so salty; it'd put the Pacific out of business,
    but then it just sunk - deep down where it counts...
    Not knowing the pun, I'd guess it meant
    an alarm clock on the floor - or something?
    I'm counting my blessings;
    on the third one,
    lightning struck my limb like I was a dead tree.
    Maybe I should've been dead, I'm still rotten.
    A pill once tried to commit suicide;
    but all it did was make me high -
    on Morphine after I got out of the ER;
    also known as the 'ending' place.
    I'm worth millions, McDonalds pays for half -
    tried to tie my goodbye;
    threads stressed my leaving & left me broke.

    A suicidal teenager is death proof.

    & you think you had a bad day... pfft
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  2. #2
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Artificial.Intelligence

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  3. #3
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: Death Proof

    I get mega slept on...
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  4. #4
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Death Proof

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...de-365033.html
    link for ya. appreciate it.


    pretty straight forward, simple piece. liked it for the most part. it wasn't a bad read at all. there were a few places I bumped on here and there but nothing too major. a short, well rounded piece. so pretty much if you think about this, it's like the story of superman trying to kill himself. kind've cool to think about, but you could've gone way more indepth on this, which is my only MAJOR qualm with the whole thing. other than that, decent read. not too shabby johnny... stay up...




    - Nash
    Last edited by Cody Nash; April 4th, 2008 at 07:22 AM

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