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Thread: The Guitarist

  1. #1
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    The Guitarist

    Hi’ I’m the guitarist
    slave to myself but also a master
    Craniums Conjure powerful
    and majestic thoughts
    Laying out the blueprint,
    for a soul revolution
    Revolt cause contusions of
    the drums dancing in your ear
    Piercing loud goes the rift,
    winds howl a storm is near
    Thunder Intellect and grace (right in your face)
    Amongst a different Pedestal
    An entirely different race
    Start to finishes I quench thirst
    It’s a bit of a blood lust
    The streets are Grimy and disgusting
    Yet I miss nickel and dime’n
    Dining on the freedom
    Until Kazaam the magic I worked
    Was put against me
    My Stratocaster made an enemy
    A deathly beast named fame
    Impossible to control
    Crowds of thousand surround my skill
    Force it to fold, Capture and rape it
    Until it fits perfectly on their shelves
    that’s called a recorded album
    I am surrounded by thieves
    Paparazzi calls my posse
    None of them sat on the same street corners
    Saw the horrors I wrote about
    Sung the songs, or felt the tips of my fingers
    After hours and hours of using my loved one
    Wearing on her nerves, breaking her strings
    For a hope of the very beast I’d now give back for freedom

    FREEDOM

    I wish I could have know its meaning

    Willing now to revoke my pleasure
    Against the starlight’s ( In love with the pale moon)
    Never more is the stringed beauty to be the same
    The Crowds have Disturbed it as it has I


    Forever more doomed
    Resilience matters not in hell
    Eternities Bind hold my Sound
    Every time that I am crowned I
    Deny the withered throne
    Only a madman would oblige
    My soul means more to me

    I Vomit at your demands
    I Have Freedom

    Death is an Option
    Now I am One with the rifts



    AI

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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: The Guitarist

    I liked this piece as it is more of a character piece, which I enjoy to read. The imagery was very strong in this piece as well as the emotion. The wording of it all see a bit chaotic and some parts just a bit hard to understand. The WANTFREEDOM lines are alright. Some of them work very well other just seem awkwardly worded. The story told of a disillusioned guitarist is clear by the end of the piece. I enjoyed it so good stuff.

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  3. #3
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    Re: The Guitarist

    this as a pretty cool piece, really nice imagery/creativity. i thought it was a really cool read, the flow was good and the overall aspect was pretty clear. nice drop man. this could be worthy of a HoF probably.

  4. #4
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Re: The Guitarist

    i thought this was dope man very original never seen a peice like this man so i give you prop's writing something so intense as this in a music artform kind of way the metaphor's were great in this, nice imagery - a whole lot of it also, the emotion was meh on point for this style of written any way duke love the pictures also man they fit right in all in all the vocabulary,format,pic's,imagery and all meshed well........NOM'S
    AI

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  5. #5
    Deific Ink Entertainment Joel Venom's Avatar
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    Re: The Guitarist

    damn, this right here had many truths about a musician and i like the play on the guitarist life..summed it up pretty well..imagery; i could see every image in my head while i was reading it and you worded the substance well imo..keep at it extreme this one im def feeling.

  6. #6
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    Re: The Guitarist

    wow......your pieces are always fresh and original man.
    this piece was real funky and fresh and I dreamed up this gothy character in my head......that sees his destiny as being a good guitarist....dope.

    My favorite part is the I want freedom part and this part also:


    Force it to fold, Capture and rape it
    Until it fits perfectly on their shelves
    that’s called a recorded album
    I am surrounded by thieves
    Paparazzi calls my posse
    None of them sat on the same street corners
    Saw the horrors I wrote about

    its like i was reading kurts private diary...tight.
    9/10.

  7. #7
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: The Guitarist

    thanks for all the feed and thanks forthe mon ka and upp for more hopefully

    AI

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  8. #8
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: The Guitarist

    man up

    AI

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