Prime you left comments 2 days ago which I appreciate. However,I will only be able to return comments at the end of the week due to Binary and maths coursework.
Prime you left comments 2 days ago which I appreciate. However,I will only be able to return comments at the end of the week due to Binary and maths coursework.
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
nah it wasnt a problem with you baron...it was your partner who i saw leaving feed elsewhere and just treated my link like it was invisible...which is part of the reason this place is on some deadness right now
Writeobots...roll out
ROFL, are you kidding? I was returning previous favors....like I said, I can get to yours when I am oout of class, otherwise, fuck you. It's not my fault you're being impatient...I got life to worry about homeboy.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
firstly...im not your homeboy...secondly...im not worried about you feeding on pieces...see them and overlook them for all i care
Writeobots...roll out
Then gtfo of here and stop bitching.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
No disrespect to whoever you are, but a quote from a member of your site:Originally Posted by provoked15
^I think that guy needs your advice on how to connect his disconnected, discontented, concocted pieces of chav crap.ITS A DREADFULL LIFE, WERE LIVING,
MONEY / CARS / GIRLS / FREEDOM / LOVE,,,,
MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND.
IN A SECOND THE WORLD COMES DOWN.
PEOPLE WANTING BUT THERES NO ONE GIVING.
IN A PAINFULL LIFE WERE LIVING COS THERE AINT ENOUGH
TIME IN THE WORLD TO BE SINNIN, JUST BEGINING,
TO REALISE TO MYSELF, YH THAT THE WORLD IS S**T.
F**K THAT IM STILL MOVING,
THE GOVERNMENTS RULED BY MONEY, DOING THINGS FOR PEOPLE!..
F**K THATS IT JUST MONEY, YEAH, THAT THEY WANT,
SINCE THE DAY OF BIRTH, WHEN U CAME OUT OF UR MUMS C**T.
HES A NERD BOY HE MIGHT MAKE PRESIDENT,
IDEAL CANDIDATE, STR8 A`S FROM DAY TO DAY, WEARING SHOES FROM DAY TO DAY, HE SITS THERE WATCHING HOME AND AWAY, TURNS 20 WHEN HE MOVES AWAY, STUDENT LIFE HE MIGHT TURN GAY, IT WONT BE LONG TILL HE`S SITTING THERE. YEAHH MEETING TONY BLAIR..
As noted, the first two verses didn't come near matching. Both styles and stories were like a complete other written. It got better with the third and fourth, but not by much. So as I collab, it wasn't there for me. So I'll feed you seperatly rather then together.
Baron - Should have stuck with that second verse style as far as lines and story goes. The wording was good in both your verses... but you changed you style and rhymescheme. If I was in the mood for a killer flow then I'd say go for that first style... but I'm not, I want a dope storyline with killer imagery when I read a topical ballad. So you should have stuck with that second style.. that's just me though. The imagery was really nice in your second verse. And the emotion was a lot stronger with that as well. Your first verse carried a really dope rhymescheme, but imagery, descriptives, emotion ect.. lacked. It was only okay all together with me bro. I know you can do A LOT better man. Better luck next time, yeah?
Brandon, both your verses fit pretty well together and for your behalf, this would have been a better thing to do alone. Your imagery was really strong and carried some vivid descriptives man. Emotion was pretty cool. Wording was alright, and rhymescheme was cool. All in all, I have little complaints other then you could have used a better take on the topic. But nice job.
Next time, try to merge styles guys. That killed you as a collab in my point of view. Also, stay on the SAME storyline. Better luck next time... check out "It's Just My Shroud" please?
I really liked the flow of this piece...and i like how well both of your flows went together to tell the story.
At first I thought this was gonna be another piece with actual violence invloved you know...like about war or something.
but then I read it to find its about love being like a battle of wits...in a way.
I liked that it was funky and new and original....sometimes I look for that in a piece.
there were no flaws in this piece and "I love how the flow of it was kind alike sentence fragments and at times certain ideas got cut off as the flow went into the next rhyme....its kinda hard to explain but I liked that too.
rating 10/10.
pz and stay up to both.
UPPPING^.
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