The Show.

[P. Mortuus]

The Show.


P. Mortuus


Misguided I feel prized yet lost
in lies I realize to pries time’s cost
of age- in an invisible cage lent
a page of sense I renegade incensed

Empty shallow no remedy I can borrow
to instill celibacy as promiscuity sorrows
my peers who leer when I come near
they fear I’ll rub off my “bad” it appears

Gambling between odd ramblings I scream
no sound- I breathe no breath- sleep no dream
As I pass by unnoticed- no foes nor friends
And when I awake I believe I’m asleep again

I feel shallow- vying for a pretention of love
yet narrow span so short in attention it doth
only more to gore my mind- I implore but why
does the answer door open to say “you die” ?

The cameras- the copters- the audience & doctors
my muses or am I theirs- it matters not- I’m an actor
I try to act a show to be the best that has yet to show
& know they say a dead actor is a star tomorrow

I can’t sheathe the steps that lead me to this step
and I can’t stop death from enveloping this inept
imagination of a nation so driven to procrastination
that even until their last step they delay Grim’s visitation

[P. Mortuus]

Links.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...re-360830.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=359831
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...12#post6201412
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ix-361603.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...no-361518.html

[Lelouch]

This piece was good, i liked the way you and baron
contemplated together on this one, and both of you
had nice flow throughout your bars wich was very nice
and filled with emotion, overall just a well written collab

I feel shallow- vying for a pretention of love
yet narrow span so short in attention it doth
only more to gore my mind- I implore but why
does the answer door open to say “you die” ?

This is it; I'm ready
Hold it now, stay steady
Don't jump yet; you've got to yell
But soon you begin the road to Hell.

"Everybody listen up!
This is the day that I give up!
Nobody can stop me; I'm ready to go
Now pay attention, and watch the show."

Those were the smoothest flowing lines
throughout the whole collab, keep writing guys.

[Brandon Cee]

Well thank God. A collab by two of my favorites.

Nyce, you always have such depth in so few words and I love that about your style. It's refreshing to say the least. I found this to be no different, but I did find that you also did a little extra with it imagery-wise, it seemed to get in my mind a little better than it usually does.

This is it; I'm ready
Hold it now, stay steady
Don't jump yet; you've got to yell
But soon you begin the road to Hell.

That was dope as fuck. I mean, the wording wasn't the greatest, but to be honest, I really felt like I could see someone on like a cliff - screaming right before they fell down towards Hell. Really cool visuals. Good job my friend, overall it was "nyce".

Baron, you never cease to amaze me. Your writing always triggers a memory or recollection or even just a feeling I've once had. It's really rare to find a writer that I'm really in-tune with, but you're "right up my alley" to say the least man. I really enjoyed your part a lot more. Imagery was on par with Nyce's, but to me, your wording just melts the stanzas together and makes them mesh well and I really dig that.

I can’t sheathe the steps that lead me to this step
and I can’t stop death from enveloping this inept
imagination of a nation so driven to procrastination
that even until their last step they delay Grim’s visitation

Dope, nothing more really describes death awaiting you in a better sense than this did. Nicely put Baron.

Overall, this piece was complete dopeness. I am going to nominate for HoF this month. Nice job boys.

Hit this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...no-361518.html

[Truth Iscariot]

whoa this was really good, i loved the syles of writing, really don't see this in open mic nowadays, and really nyce this is only like the third thing i've read from you VERY impressive it was solid on all points nice its things like this that we need to bring dopness back to OM.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ix-361603.html

[Jawn Raw]

this was fuckin sick, im not sure who was all involved in the writing process but i dont care. this was a great piece, it's the only i think i've read from grandeza but its awesome. the imagery was spectacular and the emotions were felt easy. the flow was impeccable because the read was really easy going for me. it might have seemed like a long write, but the read was easy. overall i think this has hall of fame stature, props if you get it cause this piece deserves it.

[P. Mortuus]

I'll get to both links with in the next Hour I promise you guys.

[P. Mortuus]

All links hit.

[Witty]

Aight, this was a nice piece here dudes. You both have the same sort of style so it all came together nicely, and it was impressive the way you both seemed to be on the same page, too reguarly I see collabs where both writers have no clue what the other person is writing about, and it just ends up as one big shit heap. But this was nice. I'm normally not a fan of short lines, because of the lack of imagery, emotion, and flow they can have at time. However in this piece shorter lineswere definitely needed, and they had everything in them that was needed. Two talented writers coming together to make a very nice piece....great to see. Props dudes, and thanks for the read.

[P. Mortuus]

^no problem my dude.

[Orc]

Nice piece dudes. Meshed well together, so well that I couldn't really tell one from the other at times. Both flowed well, some clever lines from Baron and some vivid imagery from Opus, they both sort of read more like poetry than topical at times as it was short and subtle. The imagery was great throughout and whoever thought of the topic deserves applause as it was amazing, really creative. Nice stuff guys, stay up and please return the feed.

[P. Mortuus]

^leave a link and I will dawg.

[Spekz.]

The thing that i liked about this was that it wouldnt have been so successful if you would of taken one or the others verses out...Honestly at first glance, it look as though Baron overshadowed nyce..but when you read it, you come to realize that this verse was held together by nyces narration..and then was brought toa new depth by baron..which fucking worked out so damn well...Seriously Nyce your ties throughout the piee held so much power and only made what baron had to say better...and baron honestly you tore this shit up...you nailed meta's wordplay etc all right on the head..and it created a piece that is so much more than what meets the eye...very powerful overall piece yall!

RTF ..

[Orc]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...pt-361660.html

[P. Mortuus]

Thank all you guys if I didnt hit a link pm me and I will sorry.