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Thread: 68 hours with no sleep

  1. #1
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
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    35
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    68 hours with no sleep

    insom knee ya
    riddled and fabled to children of eid
    I placed fourteen gods and wrote out miracles
    fled something cold
    gained stories like fruit
    and for you I can whisper
    I can constitute rations
    feminine traits never placed grace on my delicate face
    but for here
    I ache
    fourteen gods
    and we still haven't seen heaven
    murder murder

  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins

    Re: 68 hours with no sleep

    Fuckin loved this piece man... real short but magnitude a diffrent feeling in each line but all lead to one meaning man and this was justa beautiful and PRECISE read ex. loved how you constructed your flow of things and the wording was picky and jotted well off. your message behind it was excellent and your own mature structure about the topic was well poised and announced man. i could imagine this in a live poetry slam. i read it to myself out loud and it sounded nice man.. loved it man no bullshit.
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    Battle Record
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    Re: 68 hours with no sleep

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Write View Post
    Fuckin loved this piece man... real short but magnitude a diffrent feeling in each line but all lead to one meaning man and this was justa beautiful and PRECISE read ex. loved how you constructed your flow of things and the wording was picky and jotted well off. your message behind it was excellent and your own mature structure about the topic was well poised and announced man. i could imagine this in a live poetry slam. i read it to myself out loud and it sounded nice man.. loved it man no bullshit.
    ^ROTFL

    Guess I'm the only one that got it?

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