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Thread: Loose Face

  1. #1
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Loose Face

    Loose face
    -The scars are still there

    Declare third degree insanity,
    more natural than humanity;
    The love that’s shared is blasphemy,
    but the reward poses handsomely.
    I’m your horror man,
    hiding bodies behind the pots and pans;
    Catch me if you can!
    Farewell to the sky,
    that brightened this type of guy.
    I’m your worst nightmare…
    …Gutting you slow tonight.
    -all rules apply
    Let the aura rain,
    though at times it seems plain.
    While the drops of Jupiter…
    …brings a frown that remains.
    My thoughts were slain!
    Tied by ball of chain,
    killing nerves within the brain;
    I came to bring the pain…
    …not caring for any name.
    the picture seemed crooked…
    …but I kept it within the frame.
    Run through the veins,
    which leaves a burdened stain.
    The sleeve of innocence…
    …seems more loose than spare change.
    Now and days it ain’t the same
    Push the double doors,
    emotion drops to the floor.
    Felicity defines it more,
    but imprudence leaves me sore.
    Release your back bone sense,
    My burden seemed drenched;
    Don’t feel wrenched…
    …you being happy-is past tense.
    So may I present?
    A new solution in the making,
    a life worth forsaking;
    As you remain…
    …a life-less worth taking.
    -Slivered bones stay shaking.
    Come check what’s baking,
    you might like what your tasting;
    A death ballad icing…
    …atop a lost life, that was faking.

    Dead body-
    The maggots are still alive,
    crawling on a death-less life;
    I grin franticly causing hives,
    to shiver down innocence spine
    - times five
    They call it karma
    Have you ever met her before?
    I have at the store;
    She blew me a kiss that hit the core,
    I dropped dead gorgeous…
    …who laid comfortably on the floor.
    She wouldn’t need anyone to lend,
    Or even bend-
    Over backwards to get recognition,
    the heart was filled with ambition;
    Truancy seemed the best in my position,
    was more like a mission;
    With my heart left in wilt condition.
    My smile went flaccid,
    my tears burned like acid;
    My heart stickier than plastic…
    …served on a silver platter…
    -of some craft shit

    It’s always my, my, my…
    …or me, me, me- blah
    It’s never we…
    …that’s why WE could never be.
    -BITCH!
    Call it some crappy art,
    a tactic I love to use…
    …to shed the weakly hearts.
    -often weekly
    We would hide and seek,
    soft as a ripe peach;
    your body remained…
    …till others, were in your sheets.
    Happily invited,
    even when we were united;
    Your actions seemed guided,
    my heart stuck but someone pried it.
    I felt un-invited
    Flustering emotions wave good-bye solemnly,
    with rushed tears pleasing the cheeks happily?- probably.
    Nothings ever promised… so down happiness with rum,
    I remember that day with glum…
    …sullen mint filled my gums.
    -Brain cells went dumb.
    Miserable I’ve been since,
    I thought I’d be your prince;
    Wanting the last kiss,
    yet in retch respect…
    …all I got was this.
    - a bitch with loose lips
    Remain loyal?...
    …how could I do so.
    the rhythm between our hearts….
    …were more screeched than a bruised throat.
    Other guys rocked her boat,
    while I only sailed…
    …the sea that had a sugared coat.
    Tasty
    Ridiculous, yet I stayed,
    I felt played;
    my days rained…
    …yet my smile still remained.
    I burned the past reflexes- of us,
    it was trust that was broken;
    My heart baked…
    … with a burnt crust.
    Loved you twice a month…
    …that’s the most I ever did,
    as I felt stuck in a rage…
    …In time with a kid.
    -slacking around like a bitch!
    With all my money gone…
    …where will you be?
    But they say if your love is strong, then that’s all you’ll need.
    Thought at strange times when present you seemed more wild,
    though I didn’t know you we’re prone matched as a child.
    Kill me softly…
    …With no words to even speak.
    Grind my tongue away…
    …and stomp my heart with your feet.
    -heart break road is in clawed reach.
    I loved you always, as long as you remained,
    the same…
    …don’t look back and start to change.
    I always thought about us when our hearts would combine,
    the power is mine…
    …yet in the same phase our love never entwined.
    Hate always enshrined,
    and made happiness resign.
    Catastrophe effect, yes fairly to the mind,
    they said happiness would comeback...
    … just prepare in due time.
    If fair was a felony…
    …then I have not indulged in any crime.
    Call love what it is…
    …to me it’s blind.
    I read all your signs…
    … and still I’m left in spitted mud and greased slime.
    I guess this is fine,
    Though it is horrible at times…
    … you just got to stick it out and not whine.
    I’m kind of old…
    …I think I need my brain shined.
    What’s the use though?
    …when my own thoughts; are fried.
    Today seems like another day,
    passing love away;
    that’s when I can say,
    darling please stay and wait.
    Ooh…
    …how I miss the sun reflect off your hair,
    the smile it creates…
    …just lets me know, that you care.
    And ooh… how you can say,
    that you love me the most.
    When my thoughts slowly fade,
    into the a dark space that you chose.
    -Practical
    Rhapsody melodies…
    …a soft tune to ear too.
    A mere fool to not listen well,
    when trouble came through.
    My heart was thrown into a pot…
    …of happily ever after.
    She laughs so much about my dreams,
    yet she doesn’t know I dream about her laughter.
    Days get so cloudy, till the sky starts to cry,
    I began to write you letters till my pen ran dry.
    It’s you who I miss…
    …that makes my love so bright.
    So I’ll love you girl…
    ... till the day that I die.
    It’s sad though,
    that I had to do this in the end.
    we we’re real close,
    till I was the one who killed my only friend.
    I moved on fairly;
    easily removed? Barely,
    No one in this world could help,
    cause you only had me…
    …and I only wanted you for myself.
    But I had to move on… I’m sorry babe.
    I never meant to hurt you…
    …it was an accident not rape.
    So these bars that I reside with keep my head straight,
    a mistake I could not fake, only make worse if I tried to escape.
    So I remain behind bars…
    …while you stay afar-
    I dreamt with the shining stars…
    that lit at night…
    …showing off, my glooming scars.
    -Love is a difficult thing
    My world is hopeless, but I love it anyway,
    I had a great thing…
    …but loving never came my way
    Your looks I reminisce but your love I embrace,
    The good love I gave away…
    …reminds me that I let a good thing go to waste
    -so much for taste


    “How was I supposed to know she was under age…?
    …she was the one who wanted it,
    I just gave her what she wanted….
    …which in the, end of the night, was me.”
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    I know its long but please read it well i think its one of the best OM's i have written yet!

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...se-360408.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...gs-360508.html
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    wow man this was on the long side not like i can really talk but anywayz this was really nice and original thats hard to find nowadays on this sight and it hooks u i and doesn't really dragon on those first four lines flowed so nicley due this was just all around dope and i liked it alot hit me up if you are ever interested in doing a collab

    AI

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  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    no problem man....
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  5. #5
    BKA Split Broly's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    My eyes are hurting from reading all that, but it was
    worth it IMO, i love how you came at the concept
    and the rhymescheme you went with was very nice,
    complexual and indifferent, flow was tremendously nice
    throughout the whole piece, overall i think that this
    IS one of the best OM's that you have written by yourself
    overall nice piece, keep writing man, looking forward to it.

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  6. #6
    Will you be my 100th?
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    Re: Loose Face

    this piece was long as hell and im mad about that GRRRRRR!!!!! lol...but seriously...the emotion here was very evident and i didnt know what to expet towards the end...you started off on some murder metas and then moved to being played and losing love then to being locked up on some R. Kelly ish...lol..the imgaery was good and the flow was ok..it skipped around in some places and it went solid for different periods of time...it gave the piece a bit more character....with something this long, it would be very hard to stick to a single scheme of rhyme so yeah...you keep doing what the dude does.

    Peace up...A-town down

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    I SAY NO HOMO 100 TIMES A DAY, IT KEEPS MY TEETH STRAIGHT!!!

  7. #7
    Banned
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    Re: Loose Face

    This piece had alot of high points but for my tastes the rhyme schemes were simple....I'ma fan of choppier rhyme schemes.
    this was still very well-written...great structure....and the topic was well-thought out and from the emotion in it....it seemed like a true story...
    maybe?????.....

    I'ma sucker for emotion in pieces....so dope on that note.

    My favorite lines in here..

    My heart was thrown into a pot…
    …of happily ever after.
    She laughs so much about my dreams,
    yet she doesn’t know I dream about her laughter.
    Days get so cloudy, till the sky starts to cry,
    I began to write you letters till my pen ran dry.
    It’s you who I miss…

    lots of emotion there^^^^^^
    made me blush a little...haha...
    Rating: 8.8/10

  8. #8
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    thanks man appreciate the love
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  9. #9
    Newbie Max Pane's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    good ish

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    Originally Posted by Hosea
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    damn i dont know what these guys are talking about, but you are one of the most intimidating people i ever seen! i bet you are the best rapper ever

  10. #10
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    thanks appreciate it
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  11. #11
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    wow dude im glad you came back bro lol ive been missing you when it came to writing you always had your own style, the concept was original in your own sense, however this to me seempt more poetic then topical i shall not judge, because overall nomatter where you posted it was a nice read..nice vivid imagery with a steady pace of emotion....NICE COMBACK DROP
    AI

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  12. #12
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    Check out the jimmy asworth drop then too lmfao...

    thanks man... im glad to be back
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  13. #13
    Cornea
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    Re: Loose Face

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Write View Post
    Check out the jimmy asworth drop then too lmfao...

    thanks man... im glad to be back
    Write, I'll edit feed in later, but since Kaotic fed can you hit this up for us?

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...tv-361397.html
    Politics sits on your face, freedom of speech is a religious debate
    So truth that's left isn't food for thought if you're missing the plate

  14. #14
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    I burned the past reflexes- of us,
    it was trust that was broken;
    My heart baked…
    … with a burnt crust.
    Loved you twice a month…

    ^omfg, w00t... that was fucking ill. I love that "Loved you twice a month"


    this thing was long, deep, and VERY easy to read... flow was smoothe, in some parts it managed to be all over the place, but it still picked up and grabbed onto another pace. the story was almost confusing... like, you hinted toward many things... this shit was definitely worth the read. the way you portrayed their on and off again love while the narrator loved her through all the pain, sort of portrayed a previous relationship of mine. it was insane, like she was crazy as fuck, had that young kid mentality and didn't have enough sense to care as much as I did... I could really cope with a lot of these emotions... but yeah, I liked it man, one of your better reads... thanks.



    - Nash

  15. #15
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Loose Face

    thanks guys come on man BUMP!

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