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Thread: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

  1. #1
    Comeback Season Mariah's Avatar
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    Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    1st Verse - Smoka
    2nd Verse - Mariah
    3rd Verse - Both


    Dream of the Moon



    The full moon's tonight, just look in the sky
    Covered in clouds, but beaming with light
    Lock your doors and close your blinds again
    My spine shivers knowing the pain he'll send



    An old man prepares...


    I live alone, but I do know these parts quite well
    When night fell this place might as well be right in hell
    A fright tale or urban legend in these parts for sure..
    Believer? you don't have to be, I've seen the creature
    Well photos in the paper and even tracks near my house
    He smells fear in his snout, it's clear what he's about
    Death..some say he's a werewolf others say it's satan himself
    Released from hell to reach the smell of blood he can delve
    His claws into, so every full moon we protect our houses
    Cut out the lights, in darkness standing next to our spouses
    Tonight? ..nothing so far, funny I've never seen him...
    But the death toll and tracks are enough for me to believe in
    Time for me to sleep-in, it's getting near 8...which is late
    Esp. for a man of my age, I ease into my bed with a 12 gauge
    They'll be hell to raise if he finally showed up on my steps
    I take a deep breath, looked at the moon...it's time to rest


    The full moon's tonight, just look in the sky
    Covered in clouds, but beaming with light
    Lock your doors and close your blinds again
    My spine shivers knowing the pain he'll send


    The creature is loose...

    The thunderous sounds of the door claps on the house
    I'm under the clouds as I run to track down the "mouse"
    My prowess is stressed, my nose is drowning in scents
    That I describe as - flowing of crimson and powerful reds
    I'm lost how it led me here, I feel like I haven't fed in years
    So I'll wait for that time to pounce - and shred these tears
    My yesterday fear leaves me as I sneak in his back door
    Then I grab his face and watch blood seep from his pores
    I crept slow, hoping for more, a little girl is all I could find
    So I ravaged her and felt nothing as I mangled her spine
    And now I was fine, at least sufficed for that short period
    As I walked in the forest - lust for blood grew more serious
    But I can't afford stealing it since night is no longer young
    I felt tired and parched, leftover blood quenched my tongue
    And I was ready to kill once more - finding a house by a rock
    So I went up there, stood to think and then decided to knock
    Nobody answered, I let myself in, nothing keeps me from din'
    I kicked in the door, looked at the bed - and tucked myself in

    *Several weeks later*

    The full moon's tonight, just look in the sky
    Covered in clouds, but beaming with light
    Lock your doors and close your blinds again
    My spine shivers knowing the pain he'll send


    I heard the wolf got a little girl and a young man last time
    What a crime, I seen his tracks all over my yard..is it a sign??
    That he's coming for me? I hope not...it's that time indeed
    Better lock my doors, grab my 12 gauge and get some sleep..
    ...Tossing and turning trying to stop all this burning
    I begin to break back - and my spine is left churning
    So I digress early and doze off on my wooden floor
    Not knowing the cause of the pain that I would endure
    .
    .
    .
    The thunderous sounds of the door claps on the house
    I'm under the clouds as I run to track down the "mouse"
    My prowess is stressed, my nose is drowning in scents
    That I describe as - flowing of crimson and powerful reds
    ....
    ...
    ..
    .
    Last edited by Mariah; February 3rd, 2008 at 05:43 AM
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  2. #2
    Comeback Season Mariah's Avatar
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    Last edited by Mariah; February 3rd, 2008 at 05:05 AM
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  3. #3
    Town Rapist Ink Poyzin's Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    wow looks like RB is blowin' up with some dope collabs lately. this is definitely one of them.. Smoka you really played your part well. the flow was smooth enough for any reader to enjoy.. this is actually my first time seein' this topic nicely written out. nothing pushed me off or made me want to hate this.. mariah damn your whole verse was killer. how you stuck through playing the creature was dope.. I haven't seen many girls who rap like you. I'm pretty fuckin' amazed..

    overall this was just incredible. both of you did a real good job.. very creative. instantly had me hooked right in.. like I said it might be a played topic but I've never seen it followed completed so nicely. for that you two deserve much props.. keep writing. stay active so I can read more from the both of you..
    [YOUTUBE]gbEwHJX95QE[/YOUTUBE]

  4. #4
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    i enjoyed this alot dude...the concept felt was original and mysterious in many ways, the pictures painted a great visual inside my mind and helped spice the ending and beginning of the peace....i thought the way you guys formatted it was preety cool and fit well. overall this was full of some good imagery

    ...... i liked the 3rd verse the best however to be quite honest meh maybe its because you both added your own taste/mixture and meshed it togeher....nice dude way to rep the insane jokers
    Last edited by Kaotic Theory; February 3rd, 2008 at 08:10 PM
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  5. #5
    and fuck you too Meks.'s Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    haha ... thi shit was pretty wild .. i like how it was about a wherewolf lol... i mean it was a pretty simple story but there were sum subliminals in there to beef up the complexity a little bit..

    not a bad read & the topic made me chuckle

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    Pretty interesting. I read through it all without any drag on effect so that's a plus already...

    Smoka: Your verse had a distinct flow to it when I read it, I noticed that in the verse you had written in the other colab as well. Your general dialogue was good and gave a few ideas. Mostly though it was good in showing how not everything seen can be accurate.

    Mariah: Much better than the WOP verse here M, I liked it, the one thing is though your flow was fluid enough for an easy read it seemed very regimented as if your writing to a template flow which you incoporate in all your pieces, try a little experimintation.

    Overall, this was a good IJL colab and shows that the IJL writers have a good quality of writing. Good work both.
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  7. #7
    Smoker The Joker SmokaJoka's Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    bump...

    n-n-n-nomination....nah mean

  8. #8
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    dope collab ladies. lol. pretty original, I've never seen anything written about a warewolf, and it was executed pretty well. not too original of an ending, I mean I sort of expected while reading that HE was the warewolf, like most warewolf stories... and behold! that's what happened. but it was done well. it was a smoothe read... pretty good flow for not using that much multies... vocab was good... just an all around better than average collaboration. thanks for the read dudes...


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    ^hit this up d00ds... probably my best work EVER.

  9. #9
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    Word this shit was pretty dope...you both did a great job. the parts went together nicely....nothing seemed to stray off..or jumblel up as far as flow...I felt that Smoka did a good job opening..as he let the event's play out in his verse..leading up to Mariah's...good shit..this was well put together as well..with the short stanza's..to the ending verse where you both dropped and I liked that lil repeatitive piece of mariah's part ending it..it gave it the HOWWWWWWWWWWWLLLlll type feeling once I saw the moon and warewolf at the end..good shit...IJL's looking real hot right now...

  10. #10
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    Re: Dream of the Moon ft. SmokaJoka

    LMAO what can i say this was a very creative topic....You both played your parts quite well. I thought this was just going to be old man vs the creature and after Mariahs part I was kind of thinking....if i was doing this piece id make the creature actually be the old man, and lol you guys actually did it so Kudos on that i was digging the piece it was put together well and nothing was to sloppy. I was going to nom this piece but someone already did so you have my vote for that....Good ish you two.

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