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Thread: 5 Years Ago....

  1. #1
    and fuck you too Meks.'s Avatar
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    5 Years Ago....

    I got hit, with a truency date n summoms I hate school
    no wonder, my mom always says disgrace is comin in plate-fulls
    next I'm sleepin at my desk, the alchohol wreakin on my breath
    joint papers fall out pockets teacher think I'm cheatin on the test
    now she leadin me ta death, i can't even breathe on the trips steps
    can't hit the store for The Stuff and cheat on the piss test..
    shit, my minds racin wit nowhere ta go gears grind out n they stop dead
    FUCK IT! ... guess it's just time for mom ta find out I'm a pot head
    that I experiment wit drugs and liquer, became a fuckin thug she'll shiver
    the thought that 20 years from now she'll need ta give her only son a liver
    Of course I'm the one it figures, a transplant a man's rant his hand stamped
    years later in the same damn camp, hittin bars ery night cuz the fans cant
    in-cognito, one day his friends'll see that the wrath is among them
    blinded by the light that guides them on the path of distruction


    got bored.... im sure i'll finish this one day...

  2. #2
    Town Rapist Ink Poyzin's Avatar
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    Re: 5 Years Ago....

    so far I like it. I'm sure this 5 year old piece is gonna be dope when you finish it off.. the flow was pretty nice (a little simplistic) but good usage of multis brought this together. you kinda remind me of my boy Iggy when he freestyles.. structure could've been better too but it wasn't too off. it didn't really bother me much.. but like you said this is 5 years old. mc's elevate daily.. well I'll check this out when you finish it. then leave more feed.. keep writing. keep ya head up, dude..
    [YOUTUBE]gbEwHJX95QE[/YOUTUBE]

  3. #3
    Comeback Season Mariah's Avatar
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    Re: 5 Years Ago....

    You have no links, but uh, whatever. I liked this, for what it was, so short, I'd love to see more, and this seems more set to audio, which I think you mentioned to me the other day. Anyways, the emotion is going to drive this by the time you finish, so choose your words careuflly and you probably be fine. peace Meks.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ft-359766.html
    hit this up for us please.
    Wu-Tang Forever
    Nothing Was The Same

  4. #4
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    Re: 5 Years Ago....

    Yeah I really liked the theme in this piece the concept behind it is a great topic to read.....very interesting and entertaining....the imagery was good where you painted the picture of him in a Classroom...
    quite possibly hung over.


    at the same time this wasn't very well-written I hated the structure and the spelling errors distracted from the story.
    I would love to see this as a finished product.
    But it needs to be fleshed out....
    right now the rough draft is average.....but this piece has potential.

  5. #5
    and fuck you too Meks.'s Avatar
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    Re: 5 Years Ago....

    yea its rough lol .. i keyed it up in like 5 minutes

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