World through Art: Have we written off

[Spekz.]

World through Art: Have we written off
By: Spekz



Society has drawn blind
To the present unraveling
Around us crashing
To the time of future
Yet, we lead on
And yet there are no words
To describe what I must show you…

Allow me to introduce contradiction
Hi, im an artist but you can call me
...a realist

Paint laces my fingers
Touching hues of addiction
Constructing a visual
A portrait of poverty
Dumpster diving in colors
Ink spills; smothering a canvas
Clouding out the legion
Losing hope on the journey
Falling to a pitiful nightmare
Of false dreams and prayers
Writing out the future
We try an erase the present
As depression accumulates
We try and recreate the past
To harmonize the way of life
The symphony plays lightly
Yet slighlty out of key
A tune composed to prove
Sympathy is no fixture
Only a useless complaint
Preventing a life once known
From focusing on our view
Any way we look at it
Every form of creation
Gives birth to disaster…
Or as we see it…
Tomorrow.

[Spekz.]

LINKS..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ra-358745.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...xn-357783.html

[Spekz.]

*test post*...my links post didnt seem to register

anyways um..

just showing some life

[Spekz.]

Rise to the top

Upping.

[LedgenZ]

Jus, I like reading your pieces. Because they inspire me to keep writing. They remind me why I write in the first place -- to get a message across. And once again, your message was heard loud and clear. This piece was just beautiful, it had all the elements of a good poem. It communicated in a concise manner and kept the wording simple and understandable, yet also employed some complex imagery to heighten the overall artistic value.


For Instance:

Clouding out the legion
Losing hope on the journey
Falling to a pitiful nightmare
Of false dreams and prayers
Writing out the future
We try an erase the present
As depression accumulates
We try and recreate the past
To harmonize the way of life
The symphony plays lightly
Yet slighlty out of key
A tune composed to prove
Sympathy is no fixture

^Those lines reminded me of art, music, and ultimately, what poetry should be. They were just beautiful and eloquently worded. I enjoyed my read to the fullest. Thank you!

[Stryk9]

I liked "paint laces my finger", both because laces is acting as a sorta of adornment, as if the paint was something you wore on your finger, but also laces as in shoes, and how it would spill and drip between the fingers as a shoelace does. That is a good line. However, other than that line i think this poem needs to engage with the readers senses. People understand and live through sight smell sound touch and taste, and i think this poems needs to be grounded in these to really evoke emotion.

[Spekz.]

Thanks ledgenz your feedback is always appreciated..

and Thanks Stryk9 i know what you are saying i suppose i took away from the senses element and made forms of art play those roles...it was more a piece through art may i see the world..but at the same be real about the world we live in..all in all, thank you

[Spekz.]

Upping . . .

[Dayvid Aimz]

well-written very vibrant use of vocab in this piece....I liked the rhythm of it throughout. you have a very unique writing style....and In this piece i feel that in a way you were talking about apathy of people not seeing beauty in the world around them but constantly seeking some type of beauty in art.....

imo that is a fresh take on poetry and I haven't seen it done before.
I'ma read it a few more times just to make sure I really grasped the concept.


pz and keep writing.

[I Write...U Bite]

this was a nice one...i agree that y art and music and all that touch the senses, but i guess...for someone who is not artistic, that doesn't work...but then again...not everyone will be able to understand everything the way you want them to, so poetry is something of a hit and miss at times when it involves the understanding of the masses. Anywho...i thought your lines were concise and to the point and your emotion was very visible and your imagery was very colorful...so i don't have complaints about this piece...it was a good one...stay up

[I Write...U Bite]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...le-359446.html

^^^please hit that when you can