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Thread: Year of the Dog

  1. #1
    The Don Pacino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Eden, NC
    Age
    33
    Posts
    612
    Battle Record
    5-2

    Year of the Dog

    catastrophic causes
    unlogic losses
    complete flawless killings
    obscene, jawless thrillings
    blood spilling- wrong abuse
    wrong use- gone along nuse
    sued, true unblessings
    cousins- dozens resting
    testing- paying illegal fees
    you- straying feeble greed
    feed, we're hungry bitch!

    sick of your bullshit
    dick- fuck your click
    we've been hurt enough,
    we're dogs, fuck micheal vick!

    Pacino

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  2. #2
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    N.O.V.A.
    Age
    35
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    14,871
    Battle Record
    8-2

    Re: Year of the Dog

    Didn't know what to take from this one. It's all over the place. I suggest a bit more cohesion, I like the sporadic structure but you just have to pull it off a little better. I like the use of alliteration and the rhyme scheme was entertaining. Not much to say about this one. Interesting take on this, definitely not expected. Keep at it.
    murder murder

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