Inside Looking Out

[Leonidas]

Being perplexed, with these cold floors in my face
Body sits erased while my mind mettles with disgrace
Eyes still dreary due to the early morning awake
Still reveling of the crime, the huge load I had to take
God punishes the less fortunate, stay strapped for the weak
Angels only coming down to view the funerals to speak
Think about the consequences, something I never did
I’ve been cutting the cheese and hitting loads since a kid
Caught up at last, for this bid had to be the worst
Scream to burst, but locked up? Guess everyone has a first
My eyes wander up and down, there’s nothing to do again
I sit from the inside looking out, but from the out I’m in
Four walls surround, only one door and right now its shut tight
Thinkers thinking wrong, no conception of what’s right
Cursed the burden in the early morning, God sends his threat
Make this bid to get out and forget, but to forget is not yet
Scream and curse, these surrounds make my soul push hard
Nothing funny as if this is the joker at bat, man to discard
Stress relieves suddenly, for I think the term of this is done
I search to awake from this nightmare, but a nightmare tis not one
I stand up to face the sun, my body becomes light, and I block the moon
Stumbling back and forth with tiredness as if my heart is strewn
As I turn around I see my cell, for I wished to break out and spoil it
Slowly creep back as I almost forgot, and reach to flush the toilet
Too weary to think straight, the water slowly drains as if a drought
The whole time I was on the toilet, inside with my mind looking out
.
.





Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ld-356249.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...pt-355771.html

[$MONEYMAN$]

haha i really like this
nice way to rap about u shittin haha
but i gotta question
was u actually on da toilet when u wrote this? lol

[Leonidas]

No.....


Up.

[Lay Fear]

Overall I liked the piece, it was good..imagery, vocab was on point..I liked the concept..didn't really like the ending..I guess its original twist though..kinda funny though lol..keep writing


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...il-356242.html

[(GoRilla)]

It was okay, not too sure on the whole shittin concept though, I liked the imagery, just not my style.

[Leonidas]

Up.....

[Man of Steel Man]

to be quite honest...i wasnt really feeling this one...i thought the flow was a bit choppy and the ending wasnt very funny to me...it was like rather nasty. the imagery was good looking into the mind of this convict, but it kinda got stained a bit when it was revealed that he was on the toilet but i guess there were some alright elements to this...alot of thought put into it i could see...just not my cup of tea.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-356374.html

^^^hit that please on some no hate,just cause i wasnt feelin yours...i dont know how you get down.

[dafunk]

This was dumb

And the title of your piece is the name of a spoof show written by Mad TV about an interracial couple

[Leonidas]

This was dumb

And the title of your piece is the name of a spoof show written by Mad TV about an interracial couple

1.)How was shit dumb...It's an original drop...I'd like to see you write something 1/4 as good as this.
2.)I dont give a fuck what names Mad TV has used. Only shit I watch on there is the shit about Stuart.

Wtf at the feed in O.M. these days...S.S. gives so much better feed. But thank you man of steel for actually giving input on your opinion...I'll hit up the link if I have time tomorrow