Ocean Of Noise

[Garth Elgar]

Ocean Of Noise

Chemicals chain as the toxins in my brain make me cope
React as I try to subside the attacks from the harsh facts
Swung around flailing, I hit bottoms up, but I stay afloat
I crash my head down now; my ears sound with hard blasts
Looking out towards land, I bask in the moment and weep
Lost a wife to the sea, but the again it was my own fault
Slurping the water, gasping for air as I plunge down deep
With my lips chapped and cut, I am burdened by the salt
Kicks now became weaker, faintly I grew tired and slothy
The fish almost seemed to slither like serpents even then
As if the demons themselves were there trying to stop me
Knowing any further would be the beginning and the end
Weightless; imploding with fear as I exploded with panic
Love or hate? Up or down? Gravity stay the hell away from me
Life's not to be wasted, but how's life down here managed?
I gave up on her and so now I give up on this life blatantly
Depths rise as I fall progessively towards the dark abyss
Wondering why I had even wanted to have ever started this
Wishing I could swim, but I'm losing weight with the faster fall
Hush now child and relax for heaven is not so far after all

This Ocean Of Noise leaves me fast asleep.

[Garth Elgar]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-355883.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nd-356086.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ox-354099.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...07-356105.html

[Garth Elgar]

ok, open for feed...leave links.

[Jon Dagel]

and this is why I'm quiting Topical and Poetry. I'm going NO WHERE as far as elevation goes. Yet all this new kids are coming out of their closets 50x better then I. Shit!

The wording was fucking great man, really, it was so well/strongly/maturly chosen and so wisely placed that I couldn't stop loving it man. Great job. The imagery of it all was so beautiful. Painted so much artistry in my head, yet kept it a poetic as possible too. Great mashing there. The emotion was straight forward, nothing to insanly brilliant about that but enough to keep it at a steady level. The flow was very fluent and just came off the tongue clearly. All in all, great read man. Keep writing.

Thankyou for writing my last topical piece with me. Make sure to keep an eye our for my Graphics in the NEAR future.

[Garth Elgar]

thanks Rawk. I fed on 4 pieces and have links for them and still got no feed from those 4...fuck that.

[P. Mortuus]

This was a very well written piece Chris.Very creative everything seemed on point in this I like the way you inserted a picture and killed it.Wording and vocab was there,Imagery was deep and gave me a visual image of things,Emotion was decent could of been better in certain areas.Flow was there also.I enjoyed this piece sorry for getting back to it so late also sorry for not leaving to much feed kinda tried but like I said I will hit right.

[Lay Fear]

This was a sick piece man.. I liked the wording an the concept that you had going..it took the picture an painted a story in your head while you were reading it..flowed nice too. good piece cross



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...il-356242.html

[Vincent Maestro]

this was nice...Liked the underwater theme and how you was like......."Hows life managed down here?"....that was deep this rhyme gave me the imagery of a person drowning....In a metaphorical water....where they was becoming a type of person they weren't proud of.....and the fast asleep part was not death but the apathy of their own ways...or some type of Ignorance...
Wording could have been more fluid but great concept

Rating:8.5/10......
keep posting Chris

[Garth Elgar]

Thanks people.

[Jon Dagel]

you son of a bitch!? Where is our collab?