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Thread: Walls [Feat. Opus]

  1. #1
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Walls [Feat. Opus]

    [B][I][CENTER]WALLS





    its your friend again, asking you to pretend again
    behind the walls you know as the never ending end
    when the story starts, before the stories plot's
    in a forest course-less, you know your surely lost
    to ensure death or he rots, mixing with nothing living
    no ribbits, no birds, no chirps, not even a crickett
    no hopes in the path, of sanity you hold on to grasp
    no trees or crows, not even clothes on your back
    just dirt.. no preditor, no pray to have alert
    no havoc worse than decomposers breaking you back to dirt,
    dust on everlasting words.. you've been walking mindlessly
    talking kind of weak, stumbling, mumbling til you find a key
    now what do you do? I mean it... really ask yourself
    do you lose it, are you clueless? don't mask yourself
    its what you took, right? like your defined utencil
    now what does it look like? is it designed or simple?
    is a message etched in? your the only one to tell me
    and come to help me, but arrive in hell's underbelly
    even if your crushing many like a hundred heavy
    god has a god who can consider him something petty
    now are you stumped or ready, for the maker of man?
    sacred or damned, stretching across the acres of land
    a wall that you could hate or demand, it's not moving,
    you move to a new place & it stands, no escaping its plan
    do you wait in the sand? for the right timing to try later
    over this wide crater, is trying to be climbing a skyscraper
    your blocked in misery, as i'm unlocking mysteries
    this wall symbolizing death & your Knowledge is the key
    Last edited by P. Mortuus; August 15th, 2008 at 02:30 AM Reason: people misread
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  2. #2
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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  3. #3
    BKA Split Broly's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    This was a really nice collab, i liked the emotion
    both of you put into it, Opus' verse was what really
    kept me reading, because of his flow and imagery
    then boberric's verse was what set this one off
    with some nice wordplay and good usage of vocab
    overall this was just a nice collab, both of you, keep writing.

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  4. #4

    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    Bob-This was a good piece, simplicity at its best. The Emotion really stood out, the word-choices was good. Although the 'flow' didn't really grasp my attention, the emotion did, you tried a different style and that's good but you didn't dominate the style. Keep writing.

    Opus- Nicly done. I really think Opus outshined Bob, my opinion. The word-choices is what really kept me reading, nice flow too. The Imagery with metaphors and deph emotion in this piece really stood out and the content very well showed. Nice write.

    This was a good collab, although I think Bob could've wrote more and matched Opus, but all in all, nice collab. Nice done, both. 1luv.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...wd-354269.html

    ^^ RTF Plz.

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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    i gues bob started with the sort of poem verse.
    tw'as coolio. but not totaly knockout in a way, could of been more graohic visualy, and wording could of been a touch sharper i reckon. but it was expressive in certain respects, and was crafted quite artiscaly and neatly


    2nd verse, i guess by opus.


    flow was illy ill. multies was coolio, and the content was kinda dope fa'real, i liked the way you kept the content going all the way till the end, and passed thru on some deep thinking and concious mettaphors. no doubt you would make a good audio spit with those bars

    pz

    ninjah
    .................................................. ......................

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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    this was a good post.......great rhyme scheme man...in the second half of th erhyme you just started burdting out with some hot lines....it was fun to read....
    9.5/10....
    fav. lines:
    just dirt.. no preditor, no pray to have alert
    no havoc worse than decomposers breaking you back to dirt,
    dust on everlasting words.. you've been walking mindlessly
    talking kind of weak, stumbling, mumbling til you find a key
    now what do you do? I mean it... really ask yourself
    do you lose it, are you clueless? don't mask yourself
    its what you took, right? like your defined utencil
    now what does it look like? is it designed or simple?
    is a message etched in? your the only one to tell me
    and come to help me, but arrive in hell's underbelly
    even if your crushing many like a hundred heavy
    god has a god who can consider him something petty........
    this was crazy ill...the god having a god thing kinda caught me off gaurd was something to think about...

  7. #7
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    thanks for feed
    btw the 1st verse was opus, i was the 2nd, look how the font is where it says 'written by:'
    Last edited by _Lyrics; December 2nd, 2007 at 10:50 AM
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  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    Quote Originally Posted by bobericc. View Post
    thanks for feed
    btw the 1st verse was opus, i was the 2nd, look how the font is where it says 'written by:'
    oh yea, - well done bob, i can't see the white text much unless i highlight it
    .................................................. ......................

  9. #9
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    Thanks everyone for the feed leave links if you would like.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  10. #10
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    not that im surprised but wow..this collab was immaculate...no real flaws...opus verse was so poetic..and had true emotion..a heartfelt demand for help...simple with complex emotion...vivid imagery and to the point...no flaws

    bobericc your verse as was the response to the first verse..was ill...i love the way you integrated the multis and vocab in an intricately woven tapestry of superb wordplay and rhyme scheme..i didnt see anything i disliked about either verse or the piece in whole..i rarely ever do...all i can say is very ill collab and i enjoyed reading it...could you hit up my piece http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ty-354282.html

    keep droppin the hottness.~1~


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  11. #11
    BKA Split Broly's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]


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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    Fixed and Upped!

  13. #13
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    ^thanks Ledg
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  14. #14
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    Uppinn.............
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

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    Re: Walls [Feat. Opus]

    Great Collab here fellows..

    Opus - Yeah..you did your thing..bring the emotion and the pre-based cause of the feelings..you really had a nice beginning to this collab..it set the tone..for all the imagery and emotion in Bob's drop...

    Bob-Really..did a good job here..you had great flow as always..but what stood out to me in this drop..was the thinking factor behind most of your lines..you really dug the reader into a hole..to find it's way back up...overall you had solid wording and great imagery..along with the emotion basically the mechanics worked well in this one providing a snow-ball type effect to the drop...

    together...this was one of the better collabs I've read in a while..not only because of combining the two different aspects of poetry and topical..but the level of writing in which you did so..I felt that both pieces fit hand and hand and IMO this was a great fucking collab..great enough for a nomination on my behalf..word...good job @ both...and keep dropping that dope shit..and I could've dropped quotables but why this shit was dope..almost forgot..lol..rtf pls..

    Radioactive Revolution.

    Last edited by Nsight; December 5th, 2007 at 01:01 PM

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