Behind my eyes.

[emunσx]

Love to hate what we love-

Behind my eyes
Black silence
An old enemy
facing me
With a wry smile
So familiar that he
is almost a friend
Been a while
I say
But in the end
Fated
The naked demon
Thirst never slaked
Only repressed
A desperate need
Never confessed
Never a sound
Just the seed
Growing in the dark
Irrepressible
Unanswerable
To the mind
Only to itself


by: emunox

[emunσx]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ex-353964.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...en-354498.html

[Illus']

This entire piece was STRONG...
Very short yet it didn't matter because your
word usage and imagery was so strong..especially
your imagery..gave that creepy feeling

Behind my eyes
Black silence
An old enemy
facing me
With a wry smile
So familiar that he
is almost a friend

Very strong lines "With a wry smile so Familiar that he
is almost a friend"

Puts a vivid image inside my head.

I definitely like your style of writing scene it before
however rarely used...In one of my English courses
couple of semesters ago I've seen somewhat
similar style however from reading this piece I must
say nicely done

The middle portion
was strong and ended strong

this demon having a desperate need yet
remaining silent

loving the set up

[emunσx]

Thanks alot man

[emunσx]

Rise

[emunσx]

riser

[Soule]

This was a magnificent piece man. Really enjoy it. Wording was strong through out the whole read. Placement was nearly perfect and choice of words was incredible. The imagery was strong as well, painted a fable into my mind. Very nice job man. The emotion was beautiful. Really made me as a reader feel and enjoy the piece. Very poetic, yet very artistic at the same time. Concept was flawless. And the flow slid right off of my tongue. Haven't expected too much from you, but this was incredible. original and creative. Keep writing man, return the favor with "History Forgotten." please.

[emunσx]

thanks! Rise!

[The Vortex]

yea interesting piece, had a sort of horror theme to it, like dark imagery and sharp words seemed to carry the swing,

it seemed to sound good to me when whispered at a quite fast tempo,
you had real nice word choices and some smooth inner rhymes which caried the flow,
all in all this was a dope and complete poem, well crafted and pieced together nicely, dark imagery was illy, kinda scary even.ha

keep it up yo

[Laureate]

Didn't like how stop and go the read was, thought some wording issues arose which disrupted the read for me, however this was a powerful piece and you did a good job packing punch into your words and making them matter. Pretty much every word was there for a reason which I admire. Solid drop

if you have time
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-355815.html

[Jayson]

edgy flow, but the rest of it seemed just fine by me man. Imagery was pretty straight forward and kept me seeing the descriptions you showed. The emotion could've been better, but there was some compared to most pieces with none. Wording was pretty straight. Overall a nice read.

[XM]

This was good, i liked how I got a good image from it and the visual was nice. Very short and I think that was yoour only flaw. It went together good and I liked it all in all...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=6112368
RTF there please