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Thread: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    The Midget’s mind’s mental minions




    Follow me-
    Write Live on a paper
    Tape it & place it against a mirror
    your reflections will bounce back
    evil- so to live is to be evil
    or is it an opposite composite medieval
    thought of terrific haunts distorting courts
    and judges placing crosses on noughts
    losers losing appeals- on death row- the zeal
    of life appeals more to the strife stricken Ezekiel
    in surreal gear they walk head hung on the pier
    of no tomorrow- Bond got shot- got lost in hop scotch
    stumbling 2 steps dripping gin- like a messiah he’s been
    neglected by many- yet a cult following follows- it seems
    his scenes of distrust & disrupt cause much abrupt
    carnal desires to awaken like aggression, hate & lust
    LaVey must be proud- logics booming with desire
    the fire’s so carnal it’s a high higher than the lighter
    side- darker we abide by laws- a fighter with horns
    NON-SERVIAM- scrolls dead, riddled on the floors
    burnt head- surgically graphed back to its abode
    A free mason missionary- a paradoxical memory
    am I to be faithful & lead faith as another revisionary

    The day he was conceived

    Slowly reducing my time-
    crime of sloth at its prime
    sublime buffet- its greed
    gluttony strikes my mind I need
    to remind vanity to stop my steps
    before pride comes to behest
    For I can’t let lust shroud my head
    & let anger get the better of my best
    Oh look- that whore comes close it seems
    she’s ripe picking I force her upon the beams
    And she makes love while I fuck
    seed tucked well inside the bitches trust

    His early life

    Confused I blew the fuse of my pituitary gland
    so I grew a midget- scorned by a band of old hands
    playing old tricks- leading to a grand entrance
    of Mandy in hand with Dad- they moved without mention
    of the 1 lone bastard- who grew infatuated with depression
    he skulked & screamed- cloaked his being- opposed when seen
    closed then been demeaned it seemed he lost his bearing & leaned
    only to find his support pushed away- a simple trust exercise
    it went wrong & even God chuckled at his misery- lied to hide
    his dented esteem- requiems in his head- his death on his bed
    but he fucked it over- An became a new born Satanist instead

  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    ....Leave links I will get em eventually...
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  4. #4
    ....
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    ok this was a nice piece i have to say i like the word choice, you used to cause it gave the piece a good feel to me..and made me really get into reading it sad that it was not longer but good though...i like this line right here

    his scenes of distrust & disrupt cause much abrupt
    carnal desires to awaken like aggression, hate & lust

    and i mean thats just one of many i liked good piece man and i like the picture to even though it kinda scared me..lol but overall nice pic choice to cause it kinda match the piece in a way

    check out my new piece in the open mic's man..much love

    Not Another... See Right, Writer, C.W Line
    More Played then Ever..


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  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    i'll get at it asap.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  6. #6

    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    Hello. It took me awhile to grasp your style of writing, its unique but very confusing. This Piece was Nice, I love the word choices and the vocabulary words. When at first read your piece, I was bored cause you have 'wraps' sentences and it kind of annoyed me at first, then I read it again and I got your style of writing. Woot!. The Imagination of your piece was very morbid, disgruntled, disgusted somewhat. The concept you' had was very nice drawn out, with that being said, I felt the 'tone' of your piece greatly supported your concept. As I said before, your style of writing kind of confuse me at first, but then when I read it again, I grasp your style. I like the flow, the multi's and the rhyme scheme you've done with this piece.

    The best Lines that I' like'd were

    carnal desires to awaken like aggression, hate & lust
    LaVey must be proud- logics booming with desire
    the fire’s so carnal it’s a high higher than the lighter
    side- darker we abide by laws- a fighter with horns
    NON-SERVIAM- scrolls dead, riddled on the floors
    burnt head- surgically graphed back to its abode
    A free mason missionary- a paradoxical memory
    am I to be faithful & lead faith as another revisionary
    Love the flow, Imagination and best of all, the word choices. Nicely done. I enjoyed this piece.

    Please leave feedback on this...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ls-352671.html

    1luv.

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    Peace.Love.Unity.Respect.

  7. #7

    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    Weird but hot

  8. #8
    Rhapsodist Beats Rhapsodist's Avatar
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    like Apogee said.. this was hard to get at first.. I had to read it twice.. but I like the abstract style here... the imagery was really nice throughout.. contentwise this was really strong but I think the downfall was that it required a second read to understand and grab this piece like it's meant. Flow is ok... decent.. I seen alot better.. and multies were iffy and used at a minimum.. overall nice piece, content being the strongpoint.. return the feed when ya get the chance

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  9. #9
    Aged Like Fine Wine
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    wow it seems ur still proving urself to be a good writer...i like the concept of the picture and i like how u approched it...the title made me think wtf thats original and u kept it original through the whole peice...as always u had great vocab and clever wordplay but the multis and the internals werer there also....idk if u made the structure like that intentionally but i thought that was creative also with shape it forms from short the long to short...out of all the third stanza was the best like this...

    playing old tricks- leading to a grand entrance
    of Mandy in hand with Dad- they moved without mention
    of the 1 lone bastard- who grew infatuated with depression
    he skulked & screamed- cloaked his being- opposed when seen
    closed then been demeaned it seemed he lost his bearing & leaned
    only to find his support pushed away- a simple trust exercise
    it went wrong & even God chuckled at his misery- lied to hide

    thats had a strong feeling of emotion to it i think...

    rtf plz on greener grass...

  10. #10
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    upping this for you baron...As the OM of the week it should be up there
    Monster's Ink

    2xOMHoF


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  11. #11
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    sup p weezy
    the title was sick for starters, and thats what made me look in here.
    the rhyming quality was Great, i couldnt of done it better myself, flow and rythm was totaly working dopely......... topic was delivered well and most original if u ask me. i like the way you threw in some solid view points and revealed those perverted judges. fukken masons. lumanati fucks.


    the ending was dope as well. so yea i was entertained throughout fasho





    most poetic piece.


    pz1

  12. #12
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Re: The Mental Midget’s mind’s minions

    Upping this. Thanks for following the rules.

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    24 x OM Hall Of Fame

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