Chalk Uplifting

[Twixn...]

Chalk Uplifting. (Blood Ink Collab)

i record the truth appearing from negative space
, ignoring what fate dictates, even if the foundations shake
lace up my sneakers clear my face of facade's, a sedated new-found state
grabbing a pencil ready to run in regardless of obvious bait

The technique of the hands speech has set me free
from the depressed weeks
when the head speaks before the heart agrees.
and allows me to enjoy the high breeze
as I guide these utensils of writing to define me
I find it surprising upon the natural high that I'm riding
that each stroke provokes...
my consistency climbing.
as my mind performs a high leap.
and my finger tips hover over the papers canvass
from the minds good takeoff and bumpy landing.
slight loss of thought till I found the next planet.
and began to scan for understanding.
which was found within the clouds expandment.
it's now that I've vowed to it's enhancement's.
over the surface's commanding.

before he spirals into fits of madness
his passive hands are grabbing makeshift acid
having inner tantrums, fasten in taking a stand as it happens
fan' n out emotions through scorched joints and bowls tapping
as savage as his...
anointed captain to hold the pen sword hoisted
the mind of course, decisive and cloistered,
ready to scatter at a faint noise heard
devotions absurd, yet snuggled into first
is a girl vulumtiously wrapped in paper
each page a lesson that vanishes with vapor

A mysterious powdery substance,
Forcefully draws me closer with an embellished stench
As chalk touched tips, I felt instantaneous passion
Lifted off my feet in the most insanely fashion
The flashes revealed crash sins, those of my own!
As I shriek in agony, the pain continuous to grow
Yet my mothers blood flows, forcing my ignoring
Reached my hand for the paper, stopping my up roaring
Fighting & boiling through the intense violent jerks
Silence bursts, if my thoughts don't touch paper first
Anxious spurts send me scribbling across the page
I cant stop fighting, my minds losing itself in this maze
I set the paper a blaze,
Squeezing in thoughts of a new canvass
It sparks without notice,
The awaking of this dream, insights my own damn bliss
As I eye the chalk racing across the paper on my desk
It glows immensely,
Finishing the story of my life, Releasing the grasp against me

Relentlessly, i pound this sheet
ground my soul to miss-match as a human being
it's often seen, but constantly...
misunderstood by more than few who see
so i shake the foundations flawlessly
of everyones "hood" where they grew to be.
life wasn't meant to be good, but somewhat true to me
..so listen to the crisp whispers heard through bed sheets
cause the next vision could be a sharp scripture
stabbed in through fists, painting a ghosts picture
with the blunt end of a knife, held by "Mr"
ending a miss-taught life... of blisters and and empty clips
n' you might find bliss if ur missed by the system's hits

so...This is the night...
grow up , give up the blood washed fight
Pick up a pen and learn to write

italics = Twixn
First Verse = Ntalek
2nd Verse = Mpulse

[Plexus]

DAMN twix...the transiotions are perfect man...good job again by everyone..

Link:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=350171

[Born To Kill]

Interesting...
We all wrote about writing today.

But rude at me giving you one rhyme/reader to read...
And ya'll giving me three.
That's alotta work, cats! Haha!

Also, boo at 10 hours and no feed? WTF?

i record the truth appearing from negative space
, ignoring what fate dictates, even if the foundations shake
lace up my sneakers clear my face of fassad's, a sedated new-found state
grabbing a pencil ready to run in regardless of obvious bait

Good intro...learn to spell "facade" though...
I like how you're stating your inspiration comes from bad memories, rough times. It's where alot of writing comes from

Anyway...

The technique of the hands speech has set me free
from the depressed weeks
when the head speaks before the heart agrees.
and allows me to enjoy the high breeze
as I guide these utensils of writing to define me
I find it surprising upon the natural high that I'm riding
that each stroke provokes...
my consistency climbing.
as my mind performs a high leap.
and my finger tips hover over the papers canvass
from the minds good takeoff and bumpy landing.
slight loss of thought till I found the next planet.
and began to scan for understanding.
which was found within the clouds expandment.
it's now that I've vowed to it's enhancement's.
over the surface's commanding.

Kinda stumbled on your flow here and there.
But great opener...great meaning, I mean.
I also like how you define what writing is to you...
A high...a rush of accomplishment.
A feeling you've done something dope.
Especially like the takeoff/landing part...
Very real...ideas about shit to write about always sound better before they're tested on paper/Word.
The idea might be mint, the execution...not so much...
Or not as dope as we imagined.

before he spirals into fits of madness
his passive hands are grabbing makeshift acid
having inner tantrums, fasten in taking a stand as it happens
fan' n out emotions through scorched joints and bowls tapping
as savage as his...
anointed captain to hold the pen sword hoisted
the mind of course, decisive and cloistered,
ready to scatter at a faint noise heard
devotions absurd, yet snuggled into first
is a girl vulumtiously wrapped in paper
each page a lesson that vanishes with vapor

A bit thrown here...I guess he's bothered by the imprefections in his work?
Great flow, strong vocab...just not sure why he's spiraling when just a moment ago he was happy??? Maybe I missed something.

A mysterious powdery substance,
Forcefully draws me closer with an embellished stench
As chalk touched tips, I felt instantaneous passion
Lifted off my feet in the most insanely fashion
The flashes revealed crash sins, those of my own!
As I shriek in agony, the pain continuous to grow
Yet my mothers blood flows, forcing my ignoring
Reached my hand for the paper, stopping my up roaring
Fighting & boiling through the intense violent jerks
Silence bursts, if my thoughts don't touch paper first
Anxious spurts send me scribbling across the page
I cant stop fighting, my minds losing itself in this maze
I set the paper a blaze,
Squeezing in thoughts of a new canvass
It sparks without notice,
The awaking of this dream, insights my own damn bliss
As I eye the chalk racing across the paper on my desk
It glows immensely,
Finishing the story of my life, Releasing the grasp against me

Is he a coke addict?
Does he find he can only write the way he wants to when he's fucked up on un-natural highs??? I feel the intensity here...feel the desperation.
But a bit lost on what's wrong...
I mean, I get that writing heals...but is the course/path/inspiration to writing damaging in itself? That's kinda what I'm getting.

Relentlessly, i pound this sheet
ground my soul to miss-match as a human being
it's often seen, but constantly...
misunderstood by more than few who see
so i shake the foundations flawlessly
of everyones "hood" where they grew to be.
life wasn't meant to be good, but somewhat true to me
..so listen to the crisp whispers heard through bed sheets
cause the next vision could be a sharp scripture
stabbed in through fists, painting a ghosts picture
with the blunt end of a knife, held by "Mr"
ending a miss-taught life... of blisters and and empty clips
n' you might find bliss if ur missed by the system's hits

so...This is the night...
grow up , give up the blood washed fight
Pick up a pen and learn to write

Well...I'm getting a positive message here...
He's not giving up...gonna stick to writing...
The pain is worth the results, despite shattering images and wrecking normal views on writing and the reasons for doing so.

I hope that's solid feed.

Real nice collab, cats.

Keep it up, gentlemen.

Peace

[Twixn...]

Dope breakdown born...

ill be sure to hit up ur piece.

and ill change facade :P.

[Plexus]

anther link...and thanks Born

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ld-350119.html

[Axe.]

Twixn.. - Cool verse, liked your imagery alot man like always you seem to always get better as well man especially the diction man nice choice of words that made your piece flow very well dude keep up the creativity as well man this was another great drop from you I enjoyed

Ntalek- This came off and flowed nicely at the end of Twix's verse which made this collab even better, your creativity was there but to be honest the other pieces from you weren't as good as this was imo, it just had some nice lines in here


M. Pulse- Ahhhh nice imagery and some cool creativity in this drop man, once again started great off of N's verse, this was very unique, and as the piece went on emotion built up even more which was pretty cool, great diction by you too and some nice complex but calm lines in here, really flowed well...


This was a cool collab everyone brought something that stood out in this, great job Blood Ink

[Plexus]

the feed is very appreciated^^but it almost seemed like you didnt really read it lol

up

[Axe.]

Sorry, I didn't have alot of time to go into much detail because I was leaving at the moment I typed that up so yeah..sorry.

[Plexus]

naw the feed was fine lol....just a few things you said in twix's breakdown made me think that lol...since he did all the transitions which was like 3 verses...just the way you stated it made me think that i guess...its fine i wasnt complainin just sayin what i thought it kinda looked like it lol...feeds appreciated though

[LedgenZ]

Another cold drop of plasma from the Blood Ink Covenant. On the real though, this was a very interesting read, there was a lot substance being haphazardly tossed around in this collab. I think you all did an excellent job making your verses flow and fit together effortlessly. I suppose a lot of props has to go to the conductor of this bloody symphony - so good job Twixn @ orchestrating this deadly ballad. Anyway, this was another good display of skills coming from your camp. Check it ...



Twixn
Your verse/verses rhymed with flawless execution (for the most part). Your multi's where on point and your scheme was fantastic. I think your verses' graphic, grim, and poetic nature is what really made you piece standout in my eyes. Though your content wasn't hardly as dark and morbid as your usual writings are, it still had that sort of aggressive vibe I generally associate with those type of characteristics (in regards to your work in general). Your verses served as the backbone for this entire collaboration, and really elaborated what the meaning and purpose of this topic was. I think you did an excellent job setting the tempo and the standard for your counterparts. So all in all ... dope shit!


Favorite lines:

before he spirals into fits of madness
his passive hands are grabbing makeshift acid

^Nothing, significantly special about those lines, I just thought the rhyming was dope. It rolled off the tongue nicely.



Also:

Relentlessly, i pound this sheet
ground my soul to miss-match as a human being
it's often seen, but constantly...
misunderstood by more than few who see
so i shake the foundations flawlessly
of everyones "hood" where they grew to be.
life wasn't meant to be good, but somewhat true to me
..so listen to the crisp whispers heard through bed sheets
cause the next vision could be a sharp scripture
stabbed in through fists, painting a ghosts picture
with the blunt end of a knife, held by "Mr"
ending a miss-taught life... of blisters and and empty clips
n' you might find bliss if ur missed by the system's hits

so...This is the night...
grow up , give up the blood washed fight
Pick up a pen and learn to write

^That was just excellent. Wonderful way to close. Every line was as significant as the next. The rhymes were top notch.Top to bottom. All the way through. Just wonderfully executed. Great job anchoring the piece to a final conclusion. I loved it!


Ntalek
Your verse was dope too. Your one of my favorite writers on this board.You always have a slick scheme with lots of flow. And your pieces are always littered with tons of depth. This piece was a little more poetic than usual, at least for you, but you still did a great job getting the reader involved. I didn't particularly like your opening lines all that much nor did I like Twixn's, but just like Twixn's the more I read the more I began to understand and enjoy. I think you followed the topic well and produce some niceness in the process. So all in all ... dope verse!



Favorite Lines:

and allows me to enjoy the high breeze
as I guide these utensils of writing to define me
I find it surprising upon the natural high that I'm riding
that each stroke provokes...
my consistency climbing.

^Interesting, with what seems to be a lot of meaning to decipher behind your words. Sort of abstract and ambiguous, but in a strange type of way that's a good thing, it allows the reader to form his own interpretation - thought provoking! Nice rhyme and scheme as well.



Also:

and my finger tips hover over the papers canvass
from the minds good takeoff and bumpy landing.
slight loss of thought till I found the next planet.
and began to scan for understanding.
which was found within the clouds expandment.

^Once again that abstract imagery suits you well. And your wording just makes it all the better. I could almost envision some Lost In Space orange and purple skies on a dry and baron planet isolated in a maroon solar system when reading that. Don't know why, just could. So I think this was a nice touch to the over all unity of the collaboration and the concept. Great job!


M. Pulse
Well, like other 2 your first couple of lines didn't really grip me or grasp me. They were sort of flat, but after reading on I began to really connect with your verse. You had some tough lines in there and probably produce the most human feel out of the collab. I could really relate to the strange and vague shit you were saying (lol). Don't know, maybe I'm weird, maybe we both are, but regardless, this was still a nice verse. It fit the mood of the other two almost down to an exact science and I can appreciate your craftsmanship with words. I enjoyed your contribution equally as much. So dope job as well!



Favorite Lines:

Fighting & boiling through the intense violent jerks
Silence bursts, if my thoughts don't touch paper first
Anxious spurts send me scribbling across the page
I cant stop fighting, my minds losing itself in this maze
I set the paper a blaze,
Squeezing in thoughts of a new canvass

^I like those lines, very artsy like. Aggressive and meaningful. Just on point for lack of a better phrase. Also I think your rhyme style was interesting here. It kind of drifted between being tight and loose at the same time, which made it somewhat adventurous. I enjoyed the read!



Also:

As I eye the chalk racing across the paper on my desk
It glows immensely,
Finishing the story of my life, Releasing the grasp against me

^Solid closer, loved your wording. Nothing to special or significant, but it was concise and to the point, got to respect the lack of filler. Keep 'em coming dude.



Anyway all in all ... this was a great collab, you fellas all did your things, as you always do. Keep pushing these bad boys out and I'll keep reading 'em. Nuff said!



P.S. - Return the Favor: Parousia: LedgenZ, H.Notik, Derived & Engivale



pZ

[Ntalek]

appreciated...Ups..

[Ntalek]

Ups...