She has no name...

[Engivale]

I drive a nail through my palm -
Mind sailin' beyond the pain I can't explain
To my brain when I'm calm...
I seek the approval
Of young women, weak and too full
Of themselves to love someone else when they're youthful...
But it pales to my experience during -
She's near me, "The sure thing," but still
Fears me because I'm clearly unnerving...
And who's really observing what goes on in our life?
As dawn to the night we just see some blurred thing
Iconic and bright...
Ironic that sight is the sense that betrays us,
We trust what we see and Lust isn't free,
It encages us...

I'm found in my best shape during the worst times,
The first chimes of the clock talk to the church signs...

But easy is pie and tough is the nails,
Fuck love if it fails I'm a wreck as the subject entails...

I know it's a reach to wish for true love,
In lou of my attitude that's only added two doves...

I'm as scared as you, I promise,
Honest to God, He carried me through the sonnets...

The losses of love, the emotion of grown-ups...
When home sucks and the cost of it's known to us...

The longing is only a physical wish,
A vision to miss you in dreams of individual bliss...

I rock it and then I'm just a target to them,
A guy with money to buy drinks,
And the mind sinks back into the market to swim...
I park it and grin, get out of the car;
And pout at the bar to a girl who's drunk and about to be scarred...
Emotions forgotten, its physical contact,
Get her on that table when she's barely able to yawn back...
It's drawn a rap like paper's word canvas,
She's learned man is still an animal who learned language...
But capable of acts is only the thought ---
The soul can be bought for a paid-in-full tax that we've got...
It happens a lot, we do what we know is wrong,
So we show the long version of the person I've wrote this on...
A memory flickers, it's still a clear picture...
I fear to whisper her name so I remain with lips pursed...

[Murda Mac]

Thats some real shit dawg, I like the whole storyline & structure. The wordplay is nasty too....

[Engivale]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...do-349206.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...go-349212.html

^^^links

[H.Notik]

you showed crazy ability in that topical, to keep that rhyme scheme going and keep it fresh was impressive, the story was pretty interesting, the vocab was advanced and fit well in the piece. Really polished, excellent work on that.

[LedgenZ]

Man, even when your trying to write about something as plain and simple as love, you some how find a way to make it complex and thought provoking. I loved it!!!. Anyway, you,Nah, and Ace are probably the only 3 writers on this site (that I've seen) that can tackle a subject as sappy and goo-goo as this and still make it a lyrical display of dominance. I mean this piece was just written with dope wordplay, concepts and metaphorical devices popping up all over the place.



Favorite lines:

Ironic that sight is the sense that betrays us,
We trust what we see and Lust isn't free,
It encages us...

^Word -- and for some strange reason I actually understood that (I think). Here's my interpretation : Lust, lust is thought to be free because its a wild and untamed emotion, but to the same degree by it being wild and untamed its uncontrollable, and if it's uncontrollable it submits to no authority! So if we can't control what and how we feel then how can we truly be free? We don't control lust, lust controls us ... so,ah,ah,ah that was very interesting stuff young grasshopper! LoL



Also:

I'm found in my best shape during the worst times,
The first chimes of the clock talk to the church signs...

^WOW Eng, not only is your flow perfect, but so to is your wording. Your ideas, as always, are just expressed so smoothly. Anyway, I felt that 1st line a lot, and what I interpreted it to mean is this: For some strange reason we (as in humans)only seem to feel alive when we're at our lowest, and no matter how low we are or how bad those times might be, we sub-conciously welcome them... maybe it because the humans nature has a need to victimize itself - kinky shit. LOL, but look, I don't know, I'm probalby wrong, that's just what I assume it to mean.



Again:

But easy is pie and tough is the nails,

^lol@ the oxymoron ... guess you weren't just talking, you really do like 'em.



Again:

I know it's a reach to wish for true love,
In lou of my attitude that's only added two doves...

I'm as scared as you, I promise,
Honest to God, He carried me through the sonnets...

The losses of love, the emotion of grown-ups...
When home sucks and the cost of it's known to us...

The longing is only a physical wish,
A vision to miss you in dreams of individual bliss...

^Apparently every bit the italicized portion was ill. Almost no filler what so ever. I could really get into it and break it all down, BUT judging by my last couple of replies, I just know I'd get way to deep into the lines and probably over-explain myself trying to explain you - LOL ... It would just take all day. S in an effort to save time let me just tell you the basics and or what you should know -- You had a dope flow, sick scheme, deep content, nice placement and an interesting thought process throughout. Once again, I loved it!!!



Also:

It's drawn a rap like paper's word canvas,
She's learned man is still an animal who learned language...

^Simply put - that was the illest line of the month! If I could nominate individual bars for Legends this would be my first choice. I'm stealing this shit anyway ... it's getting sig-ed.



All in all ... this was dope, ill, crazy, well-written, you know ... the usual!





pZ

[Engivale]

Thanks ledge - uppin' cuz SS is offline for now and I'd like to see some more opinions of this piece... I don't talk about this subject too often. Word.

[>>Yella<<]

WOAH!! fire tight there mate all the way through the flow was on point
the structure waz good and you never fell off the topic for 1 second
i enjoyed readin this man keep it up..........1