Si Erutan

[Brandon Cee]

Si Erutan

"Everything in nature is lyrical in its ideal essence, tragic in its fate, and comic in its existence"

I've experienced and portrayed it all
...delayed and stalled...
it's merely myth to wait for salt
to sting wounds and leave a taste
...recieve the hate...
people DO just bleed mistakes

You see with faith, I believe today is feeding time
This sleepless wake - a friends face reading mine
Competing, I fight for brawns, but silence is golden
Trying to hold love, but the violence will scorn men
Torn and broken, I reach for the stars of her sky
As I parade myself - keeping my heart in disguise
I'd started to die, but never once was it physical
We parted in life - she kept her touch very minimal
Digital blasphemy's after me and I'm not real at all
Nor am I touching lives for now I can feel the fall
Reveal what's false and hide truth with wisdom
It's not the days of our lives, it's how we live 'em

Only the strong few can survive
...you men will die...
mostly the wrong cues end a life
and know when you sleep sound
...we count...
so show them you'll be proud

I grew up in these streets - my mother in an insane hell
Fixing up my mind and body, nothing else could top that
Her love was recieved as she hovered within an eggshell
As she split me in two and then danced upon the top half
Not that I admired her footwork - the elegance caught me
The celobate's are free, no more wicked thoughts please!
But I was relatively relevant to what irrelevance taught me
So I remembered truth was hidden - and set my heart free

But I am still unfinished material
...dumped in a serial...
jam-filled and still just as ethereal
as my soul was, so why lie more
...I'm bored...
my whole being's a guide's war

I don't mean to play games. I just mean to speak a bit
I have made the most mistakes - come to think of it
What's left to say's what I want to say, but lack words
We misinterperet love and life - we see it backwards

Si Erutan iS naturE

Nature is lyrical, tragic, and comic all at once. Life goes on.

[Brandon Cee]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-348775.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ly-348784.html

feed now bitches.

[Ace of Aces]

dope piece homie. flow was flawless and it kept up all the way through, even when the scheme got trickier. the content was good, i enjoyed reading much of what you had to say and a lot of it held a bit of wisdom to it. I think overall this piece was a great expression of your outlook upon mankind, nature, and how we treat life. Nice message in my eyes and great way to tell it. keep up them sick stuff.

peACE

[Philly®]

first thing i noticed here was the upkept flow of this.. rhyme scheme was there..... emotion was in here, but nothing to leave me saying wow he nailed this shit ya kno... now the concept n angle of the piece was nicely put.. more original then bell's piece i just left feed to... but yea vocab was smartly chosen and as ace stated this had a kinda i'm tellin u to learn from/wisdom type aura to it... overall nice drop my dude


pz

[H.Notik]

Props..

Overall this was an interesting and very intriguing read. It always good to read something that actually changes your mood and adjusts your outlook on life for a moment.

[Brandon Cee]

I'll hit your piece up soon ^

[Brandon Cee]

ok....uppin?

[Soule]

The wording was alot better in this piece then in your SS verse. That I agree. The flow holds very little, if not then NO flaws. I don't think I stuttered once upon reading it. The Imagery was deffinently a given here. Loved it. Emotion was strong, way to explain the plot man. The rhyme scheme was nice. And overall a very original and creative piece. Keep writing man. nominated.

[Jimmy Ripper]

wow homie, this was really deep, i mean the first verse had me in amazement because the flow to it was very much on point mayne, i love that style that u posses, its deep, inervative, and unique mayne...lovin wat'chu doin homie so keep it up

[LedgenZ]

Yeah, dude this was dope. It was probably one of the best pieces I've ever seen from you. I enjoyed the complexity of it all, being that it was both enlightening and poetic at the same time. The rhyme scheme was flawless and everything just seemed to go off without a hitch. It seems like you have really come into your own as a writer. I mean the skill has always been there from a technical standpoint. However, I felt like when you first started doing this, the connection between what you meant to write and what you actually wrote was blurred. Like I, the reader, couldn't connect on an intellectual level with you, because I just had no idea what the hell you were talking about. Now though, you seemed to have defined that thin line between communication and complication in your favor. I think I said something similar to this when I spoke about Baron P. in the SS interview week, but I just brought up because I feel like you had the same problem initially. But I'm glad to see that you both have worked past that point and have given us Open Micers something to admire and awe at. Great job my dude, it was dope form top to bottom in my opinion.



Favorite Lines:

"Everything in nature is lyrical in its ideal essence, tragic in its fate, and comic in its existence"

I've experienced and portrayed it all
...delayed and stalled...
it's merely myth to wait for salt
to sting wounds and leave a taste
...recieve the hate...
people DO just bleed mistakes

^The first line was sick ass hell, I don't know if that is yours or if it was a quote, either way it was dope. The proceeding lines were also clean as fuck. The flow was smooth and the content was deep. Top notch shit thus far!



Another:

Competing, I fight for brawns, but silence is golden
Trying to hold love, but the violence will scorn men
Torn and broken, I reach for the stars of her sky
As I parade myself - keeping my heart in disguise
I'd started to die, but never once was it physical
We parted in life - she kept her touch very minimal

^Slick scheme, dope wording, great content. Just tons of substance everywhere, I also noticed the little sprinkles of wordplay that popped up here and there. Once again great job!


Also:

Reveal what's false and hide truth with wisdom
It's not the days of our lives, it's how we live 'em

^Ill bar, again dope wordplay.



Finally:

I don't mean to play games. I just mean to speak a bit
I have made the most mistakes - come to think of it
What's left to say's what I want to say, but lack words
We misinterperet love and life - we see it backwards

^Nice closer, it said everything it need to say to wrap the piece up. It kind of encompassed the entire point of the drop. I loved it!


All in all, this was mad dope. Keep it up son!






pZ

[Judge Judy]

Damn, this shit is top notch. you really got creative with this topic. you kept a good scheme and flow throughout the whole piece, which is what i like best.
Im not going to wrap this whole thing up and a select the few dope lines like everyone else because honestly i think all of it is superb. especially your intro.

I've experienced and portrayed it all
...delayed and stalled...
it's merely myth to wait for salt
to sting wounds and leave a taste
...recieve the hate...
people DO just bleed mistakes

^ daaaaaayummmm, flows like buddah, and got my attention, kept me reading till the very end.

overall, a very nice open mic, and im looking forward to the collaberation.

props on the induction.

pz