Iced Out Chain Letter

[Facts Machine]

Iced Out Chain Letter
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Media marketing's worse disguise serves to work the tides
tied around the Earth, it's rise drowns the squirts, the pride
is bound to hurt, foolish frowns disperse and glide, avert
your eyes, a vert ramp above the surface divides as we slide
into the core where blisters, splinters, hither & thither the shore
Child soldiers that used to shiver now cut livers forming blood rivers
The war for diamonds echoes, caves settle as they mine them
Strikes are counted, one, two, three, a kid faints at nine, ten
Aids extracts an Africa massacre attacking masses of characters
The pastor's mass endures false hope, ask how this math occurs
Massive axes slash the fur of pure blooded animals painted in dirt
Vegans who complain to the jerks see no results made & it irks
I'm omnivorous, but I still feel sympathy for what my dinner is
A delicious reincarnation of a pig digested next to my acidic piss
Just picture this, sluts who convert to atheism cuz the dude God
didn't answer their prayers "Jesus, I need money for a boob job"
Dusty homes, shattered glass, ashes seem assertive & beggars
become burglars endeavored, hidden like mice allergic to cheddar
Emerging the terrorists in expensive suits with offensive troops
too scared to shoot the glaring truth so they put us in parachutes
that lead into freezing oceans of lies while receiving smoke, when
will justice begin speaking focused, rather then beneath this lotus
Deep, denoted, while our dictators pose & become hell symbols
They tell nimble stories about our condition, but quelled sin shows
Authority's abused, supporting? we refuse, bomb's glory? we defuse
Conspiracies pouring with the clues, this war is misconstrued
so metaphorically, we lose, political parties that are horribly intune
can't agree on the score we need to fuse, the quarantine is bruised
and we're all sicker than a whore who bleeds for booze, mournings
feed the blues, all we have left is going door to door to seek the news
This warning is a flu & our sources are to view ornaments, confused
We keep trying to fix what is not broken, exploring every feud

This is an iced-out chain letter
pass it on, don't have it pawned
there are wrongs we need to make better
You will die a dreadful death
if you ignore this, you better support this
unless you want to accept the hex

-Elemental Soul



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...uo-345925.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...nd-346408.html

[Soule]

FUCKIN DOPE!

The rhymescheme and flow was fucking awsome, I just loved it that much. It was like reading a Eminem Politic song lyrics or some shit. Dope. The Imagery was well done, well descripted and everthing else. The Wording was both placed and chosen perfectly. The Emotion was nice. The Creativty was great. It was original, it's being nominated. LOVED IT!!!!!

[Psuedo]

Dope drop,
The Creativity level of this was awesome just in my opinion a different kind of piece. your word placement/choice was amazing like

I'm omnivorous, but I still feel sympathy for what my dinner is
A delicious reincarnation of a pig digested next to my acidic piss
Just picture this, sluts who convert to atheism cuz the dude God
didn't answer their prayers "Jesus, I need money for a boob job"

That was dope as F... seriously man this almost got nominated by me also lol... overall I enjoyed this piece alot.. and now that I know your talent level i'll be looking for more pieces from you... sorry for this short feed...

[Spartacus]

Heeeeey.. this wasen't bad.. not bad at all!

I really don't like topical rap, however...


shhhhhh. don't tell noone, I liked this...


*looks around*






I felt the begining more than the end, i felt the first 4-6 bars were very very well structured, and the flow was almost omnipotent, great verbiage.

At the end it's almost like you were listening to a good rapper in the begining when you were inspired to write this peice and adapted his/her flow, then after the song you went into your own and it kinda shows thru, but it's good, i'd nominate it if it was that serious..

[QaaHolic]

this aint exactly my cup off tea but it waz nice

[Plexus]

now dont get me wrong this was a dope piece and your concept came across dope and easy to follow with that hint of great vocab and internals to keep it from simplisity..however i personally felt that the first few bars were a lil to forced with internals and kinda didnt flow right for me..towards the middle of the piece however you cought up to yourself and it flowed fuckin great. I personally liked your ending much more then the beginning..

Authority's abused, supporting? we refuse, bomb's glory? we defuse
Conspiracies pouring with the clues, this war is misconstrued
so metaphorically, we lose, political parties that are horribly intune
can't agree on the score we need to fuse, the quarantine is bruised

^^fav lines..very nice internals and imagry here as well..

overall a very good read my man stay up

[Paramik]

Wow I havent read soem of your peices in a while E.S.
This wa a really good and entertaining read.
The beginging for me was started off strong as usual and the flow came in really smoothly and sounded very nice and was put in without much flaw. The middle of your verse too tell the truth I got worried aboutt he imagery. It was really werid but not in a bad way. Had me thinking that you swtiched up a lil bit. the imagery improved dramtically after the midle part and towards the end it came bvery strong accompanied by raging emotion and the rhyme sheme. it was really unique too.

Authority's abused, supporting? we refuse, bomb's glory? we defuse
Conspiracies pouring with the clues, this war is misconstrued
so metaphorically, we lose, political parties that are horribly intune
can't agree on the score we need to fuse, the quarantine is bruised
and we're all sicker than a whore who bleeds for booze, mournings
feed the blues, all we have left is going door to door to seek the news
This warning is a flu & our sources are to view ornaments, confused
We keep trying to fix what is not broken, exploring every feud

Damn tha flwo was jst outta there this was my fav part of the whole OM. it was nicely flowign and had strong emotino and imagery coupled along wit great multis which give a strong flow

overall this was a nice peice keep writing,

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-346511.html << rtf plz

[Morbid Dream]

Perfect flows. MAybe the best rhyme scheme I've seen yet. The visuals were real good and i could see your intendid image. You had some real hot lines that just werent perfected with there respective lines like...

Media marketing's worse disguise serves to work the tides
tied around the Earth, it's rise drowns the squirts, the pride
is bound to hurt...

just that tricky bit of complementing awesome lines ina bar with another line of equal or close quality. The first line was perfect(flow and content).

Sometimes I felt that u went off track from the original topic ut mostly it worked real good.

Pz

[Johnny 6-feet]

Good stuff man, you've been elavating i see. You brought a piece that was initailly a little garbled but found its feet quickly and brought some outstanding imagery and dop punchlines which kept me reading until the end. Nice topic and well paced to boot. The only thing i'd say is beware of sacrificing making sense for the sake of getting in another multi. Great piece overall.

Keep posting.

[Daz]

this is the dopest i've ever read from you my man. This rhyme scheme is pioneered. I haven't seen someone pioneer a decent open mic flow since Baron Mynd. The peice itself is dope all around. Sometimes the syllable count makes the flow choppy but the imagery and content more then cover it. Good Job.

-Trip B.

[Yung Toon]

dat was great

[Facts Machine]

Thanks for all the feed-back, people... if there's more, it'd be nice and feel free to add links for me to feed on.

[LedgenZ]

Dude, that verse had so many tongue twisters my mouth hurts, seriously, it does. Anyway, this drop was dope in every sense of the word. You had great content, lots of substance, and an even sicker scheme. Honestly, the flow was Godly, anyone that says otherwise is fucking lying. To be truthful, this verse was so fluid the actual message all but eluded me. However, the parts that I did follow, seemed to be intelligently thought out and contrived. All in all this verse was dope as hell and is worthy of HOF status and probably more than that. Anyway...



Favorite Lines:

Media marketing's worse disguise serves to work the tides
tied around the Earth, it's rise drowns the squirts, the pride
is bound to hurt, foolish frowns disperse and glide, avert
your eyes, a vert ramp above the surface divides as we slide
into the core where blisters, splinters, hither & thither the shore
Child soldiers that used to shiver now cut livers forming blood rivers
The war

^Damn, you open this piece up with bang and went on a merciless rampaged thereafter. Everything from the flow to the content was extremely on point. Just illness from top to bottom!




Also:

Aids extracts an Africa massacre attacking masses of characters
The pastor's mass endures false hope, ask how this math occurs
Massive axes slash the fur of pure blooded animals painted in dirt
Vegans who complain to the jerks see no results made & it irks
I'm omnivorous, but I still feel sympathy for what my dinner is
A delicious reincarnation of a pig digested next to my acidic piss

^This is what you call lyrical dominance. You completely owned this shit. Those line in quotation are so fire they make mercury rise, if you spit them inside a public facility you'd probably set off the fire alarm. Hotness - SSSSSSSSSS!



Again:

Dusty homes, shattered glass, ashes seem assertive & beggars
become burglars endeavored, hidden like mice allergic to cheddar

^Wording alone makes that the dopest bar in the entire piece, not to mention the crazy ass wordplay being flexed here. Niceness through and through my dude!





Finally:

Conspiracies pouring with the clues, this war is misconstrued
so metaphorically, we lose, political parties that are horribly intune
can't agree on the score we need to fuse, the quarantine is bruised
and we're all sicker than a whore who bleeds for booze, mournings
feed the blues, all we have left is going door to door to seek the news
This warning is a flu & our sources are to view ornaments, confused
We keep trying to fix what is not broken, exploring every feud

&

This is an iced-out chain letter
pass it on, don't have it pawned
there are wrongs we need to make better
You will die a dreadful death
if you ignore this, you better support this
unless you want to accept the hex

^Both the closing lines and the hook itself, were very well written and both had killer schemes to boot. Not much else need be said.


All in all, you did your thing El, you've always been a dope writer, but it looks like your getting doper. hopefully the rest of us will be able to keep up.





pZ

[Dreamer22]

Dusty homes, shattered glass, ashes seem assertive & beggars
become burglars endeavored, hidden like mice allergic to cheddar

Lmao beyond dope homie, this was a really nice drop with mad rhyme schemes everywhere and a lot of parts that had me thinking though I felt you fell off at the very very end I think this was overall a nice read what more can I say? I read it and enjoyed it nice drop.

[Infinate Skillz.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ts-347049.html
Hit this please,


I really loved this piece man, i haven't read anything recently from you, i've been busy, & your known as one of the most dominant in SS, so i thought i'd give you a read..Def. one of the best reads, i've read in a while man. The flow was impeccable, the imagery was cool, the emotion was definately there, i could feel your emotion while i read each word..

This part was nice.

Aids extracts an Africa massacre attacking masses of characters
The pastor's mass endures false hope, ask how this math occurs
Massive axes slash the fur of pure blooded animals painted in dirt
Vegans who complain to the jerks see no results made & it irks
I'm omnivorous, but I still feel sympathy for what my dinner is
A delicious reincarnation of a pig digested next to my acidic piss


Thats my fav part, and yea everything was cool here, one of my fav. pieces from you, nice job man.