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Thread: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

  1. #1
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    Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues



    Nique:

    Temporal rage was found on her most simple days,
    while make - up covering drowned her pimple face.
    It sent distaste.. shattered she, unloads her honor,
    On fast food splurges.. calories' her closest comfort.
    Unspoken wonder, spent dazed follow her phases appalled,
    mirrors shattered.. ripped pages of models taped on the wall.
    Her fascination was flawed.. high school provided them both,
    'Miss Piggy'.. cried from their throats, her nose was wider than most.
    Undeniably slow - years were hell, and the pain that evolved,
    her body imperfect, insecurity forced her to change in the stalls.
    In danger and mauled.. by guys who barricaded the truth,
    ripped from her innocence.. constantly confiscated her youth.

    Years go by, and what she deserved she certainly gets,
    and what she didn't .. the extra baggage the surgeries fixed.
    The urgency with her life while hauling an assignment,
    of simple perfection.. executing a barbie doll at its finest.
    The hottest of climates, her body's a sunny day with a breeze,
    the sunshades with her grief.. spending the coldest days on her knees.
    Vivacious with needs.. she was never looking for love,
    but the thrusts of manhood.. the variety sent from above.
    ..the stench, simple, he tugged - on the side of her blouse,
    his conversation defiant and out, while she's eyeing, aroused.
    Buying her rounds.. she chooses to drink, so treachorous, more,
    Unexpected.. excuses to brink and head for the door.
    At her house, a leveling score.. caressing and kissing,
    legs tangled, like body art.. impressions efficient.
    She stops him - a sudden tease controlling the mood,
    seductively ordering that he should go to the room.
    Lays on the bed, handcuffed, he protrudes.. a smile on his face,
    She comes out, eyeing his waist.. grip on a knife, she's irate.
    "You don't remember me?.. taken her pride and dignity,
    the night you decided to strip me of my life, virginity!?"

    Flashback: Article from The Daily Freeman

    Last night, girl drugged and raped, her exigence grounded,
    on the fact that no one believes her, no evidence founded.
    Cutting off his genitals.. his screams, wretched and scarred,
    A new day and night follow.. content, she heads for the bar..

    Cormier:

    Not a shocking scene, just the same old down-trodden theme
    Cigarette smoke and liquor mixing with forgotten dreams
    But some were there for more, completely prepared to pour
    Their hearts and souls out for anyone who would dare explore
    But you can be fairly sure that that wasn’t exactly true of Rob
    Just one of the regulars hoping that tomorrow he’d lose his job
    Feeling so alone, thinking, “How have we gotten where we are?”
    Just then he spotted from afar a leggy blonde goddess at the bar
    Feeling brave from all the shots of Jack and beer
    He decided to give it a try; what did he have to fear?
    Her name was Emily, and as the two conversed
    Rob’s heart pounded and he began to feel Cupid’s curse
    He said, “Your eyes are as bright as any of the stars tonight”
    That made the sparks ignite and she was his to his heart’s delight
    Back at Robs, they were sharing a few laughs and drinks
    But then Emily’s world started spinning too fast to think
    She began to feel woozy and her sight was blurred
    She fell to the ground and heard Rob’s frightful words
    “You don’t remember me do you? I have changed a bit
    But maybe you’ll remember my brother, Shane Meritz”

    Flashback: Article from The Daily Freeman

    Last night an 18 year old boy hung himself; the police found a note
    Saying his cheating girlfriend was why the noose was around his throat


    “You changed your looks, but I could never forget your eyes
    And I swore at my brother’s funeral that this bitch would die……..

    Scarred Tissues
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  2. #2
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    AI. Legendary.
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  3. #3
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...od-344520.html



    hell yes guys, loved this read. the first was a cool story.. and so was the second. i like how these are like real, sadistic events being flipped on the people who committed the true evil. an on going cycle and you portrayed it well. Nique sort've fooled me in the beginning making me think it was going to be some weird rant about scar's on the skin, and pimples and shit in a literal sense.. but then you quickly flipped in on me while i was reading and bam! shit was intense. the imagrey from Nique was wow ..goddamn. Cormier's wasn't as much full of images though as it was description. but it was still written well.. loved the read guys, keep shit up ..


    - Cry

  4. #4
    Abraxas
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    Re: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

    Nique your flow is so awesome.
    I love how you portray your OMs to bring this about.
    This was another great peice that you and Cormier have written I havent seem the latter though.
    The beginging was a nice read in Niques vers you had a solid multi arrangement and athe flow was very good nontheless. your emotion was so power packed and it gave a glsitening outlook on it the imgaery was my favorite thoguh you described it so well and it went smoothly without distorting the imagery.
    some awesome lines

    Undeniably slow - years were hell, and the pain that evolved,
    her body imperfect, insecurity forced her to change in the stalls.
    In danger and mauled.. by guys who barricaded the truth,
    ripped from her innocence.. constantly confiscated her youth.
    Very nice indeed and the flow was smooth

    Your 2ns part of the verse was even more interestin I liked how you strung the concepts in this part verse. the imagery came even stronger and more defined adn the emotion was off the wall. your rhymes shem as original and the flow was on point. you carried your part fo the verse well
    Quotables
    At her house, a leveling score.. caressing and kissing,
    legs tangled, like body art.. impressions efficient.
    Awesome

    Lays on the bed, handcuffed, he protrudes.. a smile on his face,
    She comes out, eyeing his waist.. grip on a knife, she's irate.
    "You don't remember me?.. taken her pride and dignity,
    the night you decided to strip me of my life, virginity!?"
    That was so original and the imagery was intense

    Now Cormier cam with a very strong verse I dont think I recognize that name or seen anywhere here in rapabattles but i think he is a very talented writer and really gets the emotino off and the point and can feel the emotino flow through

    You had exceptional imagery and the emotion was good. I felt Nique had a better imagery-full vers but you got it done. the emotino was packing a lot and you verse was flowed well almost as well as niques. the rchyme sheme was very good to and made the peice flow even better
    quotables

    Not a shocking scene, just the same old down-trodden theme
    Cigarette smoke and liquor mixing with forgotten dreams
    nice sylables arrangement

    He said, “Your eyes are as bright as any of the stars tonight”
    That made the sparks ignite and she was his to his heart’s delight
    Back at Robs, they were sharing a few laughs and drinks
    But then Emily’s world started spinning too fast to think
    I liked the name use here which gives originality

    So overall this was a fantastic peice and it is hof worthy

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ik-344072.html <<
    Last edited by Paramik; August 4th, 2007 at 08:32 PM
    Percept Shun

  5. #5
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    Re: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

    WOW!..This was amazing..one of the best collabs I've read in a while...I mean all the mechanics were on point and working well together..You couldn't even tell that this was a collab..how the styles fit..and both verses flowed together...from beginning to end..There was so much imagery and emotion jam packed within the lines that it made it hard for the reader to stop...At points I found myself just flowing throw the drop..only stopping to go back and re-read dopeness...Overall this was a great collab..the topic was great and the sudden twist were thrilling...props to both writers on a amazing drop..


    RTF pls...either one.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...no-344736.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...-1-344453.html

  6. #6
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    Re: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

    Thanks cool kids.. I'll be returning the favor for you guys tomorrow.
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  7. #7
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    Re: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

    rise.
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  8. #8
    Pique
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    Re: Nique & Cormier: Scarred Tissues

    I don't know who Cormier is but damn, you both did incredible jobs on this piece. Both had the emotion and chemistry that kept me reading. Both had ncie wording and rhymeschemes. CVreative and orginal. Nominated.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=5878254

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