Give in Take

[Ace of Aces]

So little, yet so very much

I’d tread water till I drowned, in hopes to set you free
Let go this thresholds reach, I know you’d rescue me…

I was never fond of fairy tales, until you wrote ours,
And again you wrote hours, but just like most cowards
My soul flowered, and all I could ever see was you
Between the truth was a sleeve I never seen you use
This clever scene you drew, elegant I admit it
You put so very little, whea I’d put elephants in it
I’ll tell of a witness, you always sing or act meek
And I fled from interjecting, with your finger at me
“Bring her back please…” in seconds the tears seep
You’d beckon me fiercely, but not even I could hear me

I’d climb mountains till I fell, in hopes you’d ascend free
This boat isn’t in dreams, but I know that you’d send me…

I was never fond of romance, until you danced with me,
Took my hands to lead, and wrote your own fantasies,
Didn’t think your hands would freeze, I never parted
Funny how the cold seems to…spread when started
And so you led this carcass, to hell you went with it
You put so very little, when I’d put elephants in it
I melt when you said this, “I think I deserve more”
Your words tore, but I swore, the ring that’d I’d burn for
Then you’d just laugh, always loved to turn the blame
I wish your cold heart…was enough to avert this flame

I’d sleep till my eyes never opened, in hopes to let you be
Though I never got what I wanted, I know you meant to me...

I was never fond of myself, until you were fond of me
Though it came as a shock, never knew you were conducting
In so many ways, you’d throw yourself at me in apt to…
Just prove that you…knew that I’d always catch you
I knew that too, but I hoped it helped that you’d meant it
You put so very little, when I’d put elephants in it
And so I felt that you didn’t, then in a hap of distaste
Before I could say a word, you left with a slap in the face
All this madness I ate, on the façade of your merry trails
Till this day I can say, I was never fond of fairy tales

[LedgenZ]

One more drop like this and you get my vote for writer of the month. Seriously, this was ill. Just ill. After reading your last piece I knew this one would be good, but I had no idea it would be this good. I didn't honestly think you could top your previous post ( "You Sing, I'll Play" ) and to be honest I don't think you did, I think you matched it though. The key is being consistent and not only are you consistent - but your consistently ill!! IMO your becoming one of the best writers on the site, I don't know in what esteem others hold you, maybe I'm just getting hip to your shit, but whatever the case is your definitely someone to look out for. But hmmmm as for this piece in particular, well, what can I say? It had a certain elegance about it that has become a trademark within your writing. It was poetic, it was expressive, it was emotional, it was vindictive, it was a confession...it was all of these things wrapped in a tightly bound bag of beautiful rhymes and incredible content. Simply put...it was perfection or at least in the process of perfecting.

Favorite lines:

but just like most cowards
My soul flowered, and all I could ever see was you
Between the truth was a sleeve I never seen you use
This clever scene you drew, elegant I admit it
You put so very little, whea I’d put elephants in it

^I loved the repetition of that "Elephant" line, it just brought the entire piece together. As for the other lines, well, wow!
You have great word selection and even better wordplay. Just the terminology you use and the way you choice to phrases is level above most of us RB's patrons...Dope!

Again:

I was never fond of romance, until you danced with me,
Took my hands to lead, and wrote your own fantasies,

^Again the repetition just re-enforced the emotional aspects of this piece. In this case I'm talking about I the "I was never fond of" lines. I thought they were all pretty dope, but this one had to be my favorite, just the word placement was worth wild/while. Just nicely positioned.

Also:

I melt when you said this, “I think I deserve more”
Your words tore, but I swore, the ring that’d I’d burn for
Then you’d just laugh, always loved to turn the blame
I wish your cold heart…was enough to avert this flame

^I don't really want to speak to much on these lines. Just thought they were nice.

Finally:

I’d sleep till my eyes never opened, in hopes to let you be
Though I never got what I wanted, I know you meant to me...

and

In so many ways, you’d throw yourself at me in apt to…
Just prove that you…knew that I’d always catch you

and

All this madness I ate, on the façade of your merry trails
Till this day I can say, I was never fond of ferry tales

^These lines were dope, full of substance and emotion.


Overall, the entire piece was dope, sick, ill, beautiful, w/e you want to call it, wonderfully composed love/ goodbye letter. I think conviction is the word I'm looking for...maybe its not...hmmm, but this was crazy, HOF for sure. What else can I say? Keep doing your thing man.

pZ

[Ace of Aces]

thanks bro, i greatly appreciate it.

heres my links:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ry-343924.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...te-343306.html

[Ace of Aces]

k lets get this piece up there.

[Ace of Aces]

ok drop links kats.

[Ace of Aces]

up once more.

[SoFly]

Damn this was seriously one of the best things I read. I loved this. It's a peice thats relatable to everybody. The vocab was simple but the way that those simple words conveyed complex feelings from you was crazy.

And so you led this carcass, to hell you went with it
You put so very little, when I’d put elephants in it
I melt when you said this, “I think I deserve more”
Your words tore, but I swore, the ring that’d I’d burn for
Then you’d just laugh, always loved to turn the blame
I wish your cold heart…was enough to avert this flame

That was my favorite part. I loved when you restated that elephant line, it brought it together and made it better. The peice made me understand exactly how you felt and thats rare. I didn't finish it and feel like there soulda been more. Very tight mad props. If you could just drop some feed on my om "All Walks Of Life", peace.

[Richard Parker]

...

[Ntalek]

I actually voted on this drop in SS. and as I said there this was a well written drop..with the imagery proving to be one of the stronger points of the drop...besides the wording..and the repeatition of the elephant line waws brillance..really brought out more understanding to the topic @ hand....The emotion was clear and well distrinbuted throughout the entire drop on a equally satisfying level..with there being little flaws if any in this piece I can't touch on that...but....This is like the second piece I've read from you and it only proves that you are a great writer..inspriational..keep it up...man...don't let the pen stop...