~*~The Dare~*~

[Domain 9]

How can one night turn into something so wrong/
Intensive care unit called home for far too long/
A game of quarters worked me over that night/
Feeling tipsy, lost and having some double sight/
More than my choice of females in the room/
Enjoying my mind state I came off of way too soon/
Chugged a few to enhance the evening's experience/
Now I'm off balance, seeing blurs and getting delirious/
The party goes from the inside to the outdoors/
Getting dangerous as I find myself becoming bored/
Everyone's getting tired but not ready to leave/
A game of truth or dare is what proceeds/
A few nude girls and injured guys later it's me/
Truth or Dare? I take actions over speech/
The school's football stadium just in vision/
To climb the light poles to the pinnacle is my mission/
Walking a few hundred yards that seemed like miles/
We reach the base of the tower it's all smiles/
Laughing it off to hide my horror deep inside/
Stepping up the pole to some breath taking heights/
Finally on top I hear the excitement and keep from panic/
Taking up the view that was picturesque and panaramic/
First steps off the scaffolding to the ladder was a nightmare/
As my muscles tense up a foot slips I'm falling through night air/
Gritting my teeth and closing my eyes as a reaction/
Earth shaking impact as I smash the green grasses/
On my back I open my eyes to find myself alone/
Next to my bed on the floor fighting my pillow/


A topical that was givin to me as "The Dare"

pz

[Bruklor]

Originally posted by Domain 9

Earth shaking impact as I smash the green grasses/
On my back I open my eyes to find myself alone/
Next to my bed on the floor fighting my pillow/

"Earth shaking impact as I smash the green grasses/" - That was really good, I liked that line.

"Next to my bed on the floor fighting my pillow/" - That ending...my god, hilarious, and thought provoking...

That was dope!

[Low Key]

Yo that shit was mad.
I laughed at the end dog.
Nice spit.

[The 13th Apostles]

This was a hot drop...liked the topic, and you stayed on point the whole way through....showed true skill in this piece....

Stay safe fam...

P.e.a.c.e.

[Criminal Intent]

hmmmmmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmhmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

dog if u dont have a record deal or a bootleg local rapper cd out somebody is sleepin and sleepin on u hard nigga. Thats one thing i need help on is topical rhymes yo i dot that and i be lyrical beast fa real. Stay up man and dont eva stop spittin

[Orikle]

haha, yeah good endin dogg, a good piece always needs a good ending and twists are always dope, good rhyin and flow, shit was hot, stay uppin!

Peace Out!!!!

[unifire]

ur creativity is the peak in this place, like the ending..
story line and flow was together
keep spittin..
peace out...

[maXimus]

nice drop feeling it good topic nice wordplay an vocab

i liked this alot keep it up


8.5/10

[Nahlidge]

This was a hot piece man.....I liked how it drew me in thinkin' U were tellin' me a story of how U ended up in a hospital.....Then to mess me up in tha end sayin' it was a dream.....Hot shit man.....Keep it up.....Peace

[Alias-C]

whas going on man...

yo you kept this interesting till the end, shit was tight, no doubt, the concept of it is pretty simple but the way you write it all down, using good word play, makes it more complex and gives strengh to the whole concept, cause it's pretty simple to sum up; some girls dared you to clim up a poll, you climed, you bust your ass when you fell... simple... but you make tha shit sound interesting through out... thas kinda hard to do... shit was nice man...

Peace

[•Cist•M•]

its kind of funny... how me and you use to do collabs, you'd come off all rhymin' this and that and i'd be mellow with some ish and somehow... makin' shit work... now you drop this? fuck i swear man, i hate how you like topicals, ever since i was ripped off from that one i entered, i hate topicals, but anyway D,

peace

props

respect

[Domain 9]

I'm ripped off everytime on my topical league... if you seen it... it's bullshit! Haters

[Nahlidge]

No.....It's not bullshit......I'm juss that good.....LoL.....peace

[AuQ WuRD]

He FINALLY Drops An Open MIc.......Yayyyyyyyyyyyy ::And The Crowd Goes Wild:: This Was A Pretty Good Piece, I Must Say!!!


-OuT-

[Domain 9]

^I was expecting you to hate on me with all this shit going on right now... I got a lil more respect for you after all you've said in our crew forum.

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I'm glad to see that people are replying. I appreciate all the positive feedback really. It is very much appreciated.

pz