Ink Credible

[Bounce]

Ink Credible

I'm suffocating, while dying ever slow and alone
loan after loan, denying their blows that condone
tougher skating on ice, and the melting of homes
never nice, I'm always felt with a sting to the dome
scheme with the chrome and a beam like a pro
they poll votes like track stars, to see how high they can go
w/ eyes on the show, their flags wave in political woes
I craft critical prose that chant down hypocritical foes
who pose as analytical drones. Typical throes?
or hypercritical groans? Drunk off words Anne Rice,
Because sometimes I feel like.. 'Servant of the Bones!'
So I chronicle the Vampires hoard on our shores
In a 'Blood Canticle' hymned by my fanatical roars
& row row my boat in Katrina waters, with Slinky's as oars
kinky as whores when I spring metal 4's at your core
I'm talking nasty, with a soldier's decor, & salute war
waged in the form of audible bullets fired dead center
to layer the score, lyrical gun 4 hire I enter to mentor
& breach a divide, teach & pour soul into speech
for poor souls within reach of these weapons unleashed
on a leech like enemy, then feast on all saints resenting me
capiche? I'm a beast on a soapbox forever lamenting thee
like windsocks lowered to half-mast it's death of direction
less than perfection flaccid inaction's led to failed elections
so I put lead in my pencil to stencil an erection of flow
w/a convectional glow my tongue melts minds at a show
first, fifth or last row.. Doesn't matter the messages shatter
ignorance's hold, A rebel with cause and a devil to mold
up against incredible odds so I INK credible loads
it's a contact sport so you might catch a fist to the nose
when you come crisp, fresh pressed in sheep's clothes
a new type politician on a mission, here to foreclose
on a house of injustice where dusted wigs interpose
wrinkled & old ideals in bold, archaic & cold
so you force I to tank down memory road,
& paint a story w/ pictures to get you to picture a frame.
The system's to blame for misinformation & pain
while the music is playing, our silence is deafening
so I'm definitely saying,

"This is MY Country.. fuck you I'm staying!!!"

[TheUnderRated]

its pretty hard to feed someone like you bounce .. but i'll give it a try .. this was crazy with multis .. you went internal external eternal .. etc.. rhyme after rhyme so much to the point i felt like i was on a rollercoaster.. which i kinda liked.. the vocab you clearly .. as you always do .. showed for and the emotion grew as the piece progressed.. The only gripe I had was a few rocky transitions towards the middle of the piece .. I don't know if this was a keystyle or not but certainly gave that feel of raw emotion hitting in split second timing and the rhyming showed more freeform .. really liked the piece.. hope you enjoyed the feed.-pz.

[Bounce]

Thanks for dropping in. This is writen for audio, so it's not going to come off the tongue well unless read aloud. I haven't dropped in any other format on here in a long time, been putting up audio verses structured to fit my delivery pattern. So I feel you on the non conventional transitions, all that kind of thing is worked out in cadence and delivery. that on top of I never really follow an end of line rhyme scheme...

[Nique.]

This was like a higher level flex. And I'm loving the internal/external rhyme scheme...made it very smooth and entertaining. The progression of the concept that you used was pretty flawless. The imagery you used at certain points were dope too (i.e. Katrina, sheep's clothes). Not one of your best, but still an above average piece. Definitely enjoyable. Good to see you back, Bounce.

[so stoney]

nothing too great.

[TheUnderRated]

i'm very interested in hearing the end product of this then make sure you pm me the thread when you drop it . thanx.

[Revilo.]

I'm suffocating, while dying ever slow and alone
loan after loan, denying their blows that condone
great starting bar..great emotion to start off.

I craft critical prose that chant down hypocritical foes
who pose as analytical drones. Typical throes?
wording here in this bar was off the chain.

so I put lead in my pencil to stencil an erection of flow
w/a convectional glow my tongue melts minds at a show
another dope bar, rhyme scheme totally on point

& paint a story w/ pictures to get you to picture a frame.
The system's to blame for misinformation & pain
while the music is playing, our silence is deafening
so I'm definitely saying,

"This is MY Country.. fuck you I'm staying!!!"
ended the verse off nicely, great insight and content here

Overall this was a dope piece. I enjoyed the read. Multis were off the scale. emotion was heart felt and the content in this piece was tremendous. Definitely a throughly written verse. Looking forward to your next piece.


peace.

[Maven.]

Dopeness BounceDoggy, but you know this.
Your writing requires incredibly involved reading in order to get a point out of it all, which I still have some issues with in this piece. It just seemed like multi-masturbation at times. The multies were dope, but it got to the point where I had to re-read in order to understand what you were saying. Not that that's necessarily bad, just not the clearest piece of writing ever. I'll definitely check out the audio when you post it though, the flow in this piece is ridiculous.
Easy.

[NiNjah Red]

yea B i liked this, my kind of flow, emotion and multies,ha, i had no trouble following the flow as i always vocalise bars if im writing or reading, coz im all about a live spit, saying that, much of your bars were beyond the average rap song lyrics, thus crafted in a artistic and poetic manner, so srtill looking and flowing good as heaven in text,,,you made some good expressive points, i feltt maybe the end statement my country could of had more backing somewhere within the song to make it more relative, coz i wasnt too sure you were talking about any particular country as such


nice yeah


check out my new pice on the board if it aint too much effort

1

[Bounce]

thank you sir... The body of the piece is one big metaphor for the affairs of state. It's a political rant, touching current issues, such as the economy, corupt law makers, immigration/sweeping change (as the ending reference), and highlighting the use of music as a political platform. More so the use of messages in hip hop to transform the minds of the next in line to vote.

chronicle the vapires hoard on our shore.... directs attention to the wasteful use of the countrys resources, in terms of our youth and our material resources. That is as chronicled in terms of the songs we play.


a new type politician on a mission, here to foreclose
on a house of injustice where dusted wigs interpose
wrinkled & old ideals in bold, archaic & cold
so you force I to tank down memory road,
& paint a story w/ pictures to get you to picture a frame.
The system's to blame for misinformation & pain
while the music is playing, our silence is deafening
so I'm definitely saying,

"This is MY Country.. fuck you I'm staying!!!"


that portion there spells out the case for change through music, and ushers in the new and out with the old. The old being those dusted wigs, if you ever look at a pic of those on the senate or house floors you see a bunch of old grey men. This introduction of the new age politician is along the lines of a new generation of kids growing up listening to the political messages in their music and using it to fuel the change, a much needed one in my opinion. Hence the foreclosing line on the house of injustice. Last few lines just tie it all in and bring it home. which tells yo the current system is in need of an overhaul, and rather than picking up and leaving our roots, the angry youth is saying fuck that, this is my country I'm staying. I'll fix it. The "while the music is playing the silence is deafening line"... well that tells us no one is interrupting this particular music while it's playing, there is not loud talking or having bullshit conversations, why because the music is saying something people want to listen to. They are focused ont eh content and message. The message being a call for political change and in a sense a call to arms for the youth.


along those lines anyway...

[NiNjah Red]

damn , u deep bro, i gotta take you on - board some more.

[justrude]

This was nice, what more can I say. In order to read most of your pieces, I have to up my vocabulary to understand it. But this is should defiantly be nominated for HoF, as you constanly drop great OM's. Anyways, the rhyming of this was awesome, the flow was consistant and you suprised me at the end of it: "This is MY Country.. fuck you I'm staying!!!" That wrapped up the whole piece. Defiantly HoF material, and it's always great to see you dropping OM's.

If you could...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ca-340045.html

[Philly®]

this was so gay u kno like 100% bounce like

lol nah... this was dope actually, i have a thing for multies and rhyme schemes..

flowed well n like ninja said i like to read a piece where i can actually say it and it sounds just fine... so props on the Bouncy ball.. n i see u said IT WAS written for audio... but most pieces don't go well written out do to US not knowing ur exact style n flow


werd, u can holla at my piece when u get a chance.. old SS piece never posted it beyond there tho... so holla

[Tuckz]

I loved this piece man.. your use of iternals was outstanding and I love how you make it look like you do it with ease.. your wording is untouchable and the metaphor of the piece was great.. awesome piece

[Lauren.]

wow I don't even know where to start with this one. The way that you worded every line not only kept the flow tight, but utilized internal and external rhyming extremely well. I thought you did an excellent job of presenting an extended metaphor. The multies and comparisons were on key as well, and this piece definitely packed a lot of imagery and emotion which are my favorite aspects of any piece. Overall a very good OM