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Thread: On a sheet of paper...

  1. #1
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    On a sheet of paper...

    On a sheet of paper...


    The 60s. .
    Dr. King read a dream from a sheet of paper.
    Huey P, read to me, that we needed to save us.
    We needed to raise up, above the haze, cause
    It is our job to avenge the slave blood
    That is still in our veins, to this day, Bruh.
    . . . & look at how far we’ve come, now.
    Those words shunned doubt, & some frown
    On the accomplishments, but somehow
    We still see the sun, through the glum clouds.
    60s literature said we had no need to dumb down.
    Be intelligent & even though some drown
    In the words that come out, come proud
    Come loud, like the African drum sounds
    That our heats beat to! Make you believe you!
    Empower yourself with words & breathe the truth!
    . . .In that way , these words freed the youth.
    Ink on paper changed us: both me & you. . .

    Me & you.

    The 20s. .
    I thank the Blues for Langston Hughes:
    One of the predecessor of the change, the fuse
    That sparked a movement in the hearts of school kids.
    That said blacks were intelligent & then started to prove it.
    Sharp and lucid were the words of Zora Neal Hurston,
    Who said, if we didn’t want to feel hurt, then
    We’d have to stand up & put real work in.
    Take freedom from the enemy, ‘cause, still lurkin’
    Were the decedents of men who’s steal virgins
    From slave quarters. . the reason for our light skin
    We had to fight & make them treat us like men!
    The Harlem Renaissance spawned the writers
    And their words spawned the fighter of civil rights
    “Crystal Stair,” by Hughes gave Huey & little light.
    Don’t suffer in silence became the adopted theme.
    “Their Eyes Watching God”, by Zora, changed Dr. King.
    The 20s Literature inspired blacks to speak the truth
    . . .In that way, these words freed the youth.
    Ink on paper changed us: both me & you. . .

    Me & you

    The beginning. .
    Village elders, around fires, used spoken word.
    Tales were told with voice, before men wrote the verbs.
    The joy & hurt was heard in the voices of speakers.
    Before silence of paper, noise was the teacher,
    But speech’s flaw is that it could only reach the close.
    Sometimes a voice can’t go as far as it needs to go,
    But the development of ink provided seeds of hope.
    Paper & written language was needed growth.
    Then, a hymn changed communities, when spoken,
    But changed the entire world when a man wrote it.
    “Wait in the Water,” helped Langston gain focus.
    Without reading, Zora would have remained hopeless,
    But their minds were changed by written language.
    They learned to use paper to vent the anguish.
    Ancient African hymns helped them to see the truth
    . . .In that way, these words freed the youth.
    Ink on paper changed us: both me & you. . .

    Thank God for written language.




    a product of Hence Forward




    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ti-337991.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-338031.html
    Last edited by Chris Black; June 6th, 2007 at 12:32 PM
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  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-338132.html
    ... this is for you.




    here we go.

    this was fuckin' ILLY. holy shit wow. nice. for what type of piece it was, and for how much harder you'd think most other topics would've hit than this by knowing the concept, this was actually really good. literally went deeper than most pieces like this normally go. I also liked the approach on the concept. rather than how bad racial problems were, or how they had specificly happened, you came at this by showing the origin and how deep the fight for the peace between races went. and how paper and ink were a major part in the expression of these unearthly changes were over time.. not going into great detail, but you obviously can tell I enjoyed the read. loved the flow, the concept, the approach, the wording, everything was crisp. thanks for the read mate. nominated.


    - Nash

  3. #3
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    WOW!...One of the best drops if not the best that I've read on this site...The whole entire concept had me at an aw...The originality of the piece is what really stood out..but the flow it self was amazing..and this wasn't like some made up imagery..this was realistic like I could actually relate to certain parts of the piece.and really feel where you were coming from..like paying attention to a professor.....on a intellectual level..seriously..this was a great display of true talent...it's piece's like this that inspire me the elevaton process...thankx for the great read..!..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...or-338433.html

    Last edited by Nsight; June 6th, 2007 at 10:15 PM

  4. #4
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    Thanks for the replies. I'll read and reply to both your pieces, tomorrow.
    Hence Forward
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  5. #5
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    WTF. HOF easily, maybe even Legendary, but I don't think you put your pieces there anymore. Anyway, this was DOPE. Talk about significance. It's interesting how we take such things as writing for granted so often. I know I do, but as I read this piece, I became a lot more appreciative of its meaning and substance. Hell, without writing we might not even be as free as we are today. I say as free because I still don't think we're 100% free in certain aspects. Once again, the simplicity of your piece made it that much better, as usual. Great piece, Wicked.
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  6. #6
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    Thanks a lot. Upping this.
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  7. #7
    I'm Only Here 4 ME Fuck U TheUnderRated's Avatar
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    nice piece here chris really the rhyme style used here made me think alot of jay z ... hopefully you take that as a compliment as it was meant to be. Very insightful take on the topic going back and using the struggle and connections to it and then linking it to something so simple and everyday really felt the piece alot of talent i hope that you would turn something like this into an audio it has that historic nas feel with a jay z undertone...
    p.s. can you tell i'm more of an audio head..
    much respect. pz.
    INSANE JOKA LYRICIST

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! LIL RED55's Avatar
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    Yo This Was Dope, I Liked The Topic,you Did A Topic On Somthing That Really Mattered And Then Stated A Statment After That

  9. #9
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    this was a good piece. . my favorite part was how you maintained flow (by which I mean the piece's flow, not the rhyming) from line to line so well, even though you were continuing the same thought from previous lines. it's easy to overlook as a reader, but it's harder to do than it seems. this was a cool piece, but I wouldn't rate it much above that. although the concept was good, and it was well-written, it wasn't spectacular.

  10. #10
    Soule
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    Doep Wordplay. I felt your rhyme skeme and flow was well handled and most of the reasioning behind that was your wordplay. Your creaitvity with this peice was also really nice and original. Your format was nice and basic. Easy to read. Your Storytelling was very nice man and that is one of two qualities I look for when I read. The other is a nice emotion, and trust me. keep on writing.

    RTF with BANG! BANG!

  11. #11
     
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    Re: On a sheet of paper...

    Great piece here man.. you always leave me impressed with your ability to tell a great story but make it flow so well the whole time.. in envy you lol.. you know how to use all the right techniques to make a great piece but make it look so easy.. good job

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