Welcome to the 1-2 Punch Mag
By A.J
Week 1
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This week was a decent week in the land of punches. There were a few upsets, but nothing drastic. All in all it was a nice start for the league. However there were alot of fucking noshows. Don't noshow. As you can see, Possible kicked around 20 dumbasses out of the league. Don't be next; show up!
The league was split into two groups. Group A and Group B.
Group A
Tim
Tay Tay
Tebo
Drftr
Ink Edible
Jynx
yung ghost
Shox
Ghunz
Mr. Q
Dangermanship
Ancel
Rule
Cry
Blue Bayou
Mariah
Reli Mak
Kun Ive AH
ab0ve
Mr. W.rite
Slut
Alphabetized
Belligerant
Group A Battle Reviews
Mr. Q vs. Mariah
Mr. Q took the battle by 1 vote. Mariah's punch had some complexity and wordplay, but the voters decided Q's landed harder. This battle was very mehish.
Everlast vs. Relli Mak
Everlast noshowed
Jynx vs. Mr. Write
Mr. Write Noshowed
Ink Edible vs. Slut
This battle was pretty good. Though Ink Edible took it by a vast majority, Slut held his own while goin against a proven dope 1-2 Contestant.
Shox vs. Kun Ive Ah
This battle sucked. Kun came withsome WEIRD shit, and zelph just dropped wack. Zelph won.
Yung Ghost vs. ab0ve
Ghost delivered one of the dopest punches i've seen in a while. No doubt it will show up in the quote system. ab0ve noshowed though.
Tebo vs. Alphabetized
Tebo dropped very out-of-the-ordinary and it seemed like he was giving Alphabetized props. Alpha took this easy.
Tay Tay vs. Belligerant
Bad battle. Bell won, nuff sed.
Drtftr vs. Thomas
Thomas noshowed
Tim vs. YungenB
YungenB noshowed
Dangermanship vs. L.G
LG noshowed
Red Hooks vs. Led Poetic
Double fucking noshow
Group A Top Battles
Rule vs. Cry
This battle was good. Very good, for a start of the league. Both dropped nice hard punches, and the votes came in bundles for each opponent.
Cry's Punch
never a top cat, your a predictable loser that's continuously chokin'
n' it's known that a #1 rule is established, cuz 's been previously broken
Rules Punch
The voting had to go to a tie-braker, ending in 12-9 Cry.we're family now! dont blame me, i caught u nappin bitch.
aint all that bad tho.. i just took advantage of crisis.
Ancel vs. Blue Bayou
This battle was more or less an upset. Though Ancel's a respected LLL head, Bayou had the favors in his corner. Ancel took the win comfortably however, with a 12-5 win over the BB.
Ancel's Punch
Done seen your punches man, and they ain't funny i'll bet
That if i get a kick outta blue...it's a last effort attempt
Blue Bayou's Punch
Group A Top Punchesi don't even wanna beef man, my mentality's shifted
i'll drop this bar singing your praises...*cricket*cricket
1.Yung Ghost vs. above
your whole family is gay, mariah and cornea i'll be dissing them fast
and if ab0ve no showing is hogwash....
.....holla at ya mom cause she's missing a bath
2.Jynx vs. Mr. Write
It aignt write to no show, Mr...thats a bitch move
So this is my hard punch........
.......................BOOM! it hit you.
3.Ink Edible vs. Slut
Your mom thinks your an ANGEL, dude, but that ain't so true
I'll reveal your sins...
...Then break your XBox and take your HALO, too!
4.Cry vs. Rule
never a top cat, your a predictable loser that's continuously chokin'
n' it's known that a #1 rule is established, cuz 's been previously broken
5.Alphabetized vs. Tebo
Tebo "Sorta good now?", Well he better watch who hes stoppin
cuz we can all see Tebo dynasty... then me put him in his coffin
Group A Power Rankings
1.Yung Ghost
2.Cry
3.Ancel
4.Alphabetized
5.Ink Edible
6.Mr. Q
7.Belligerant
8.Jnyx
9.Drtfr
10.Tim
Group B
El Testigo
Coop
Rigamortis
Heychoo
Constance
Advisory
Philly
AJ
Seyance
Lethargic
$inister
MCPheonix
Evil Freeney
Record
Rival
Jaetalidy
Smokey
Xc!usive
Meks
SmokaJoka
Kid sick
Group B Battle Reviews
A.J vs. Jaetalidy
Well, it was a close battle. I ended up winning the tie breaker.
Lethargic vs. Rival
Lethargic whooped this. Hands down he won this battle.
Coop vs. Xc!usive
Weak battle. Though coop had a nice punch, X came with some elementary played shit.
Advisory vs. Riga Mortis
Rigga won this battle. Ad dropped, probably underestimating Riga.
djb vs. Heychoo
Djb noshowed
McPheonix vs. Kevin Brown
Kevin Brown noshowed
Constance vs. Smokey
Weak ass battle. Constance won hands down.
Seyance vs. J. Butler
J Butler noshowed
$inister vs. Jay Brook
Jay Brook noshowed
El Testigo vs. Syntext
Syntext noshowed.
SmokaJoka vs. Meks
Double fucking noshow
Philly vs. M. Pulse
Philly dropped a decent punch with some nice wordplay. Good enough to make the weeks top. However M.P still noshowed. Philly gets the win.
kid sick vs. lwtruthlw
kid sick showed, but didnt drop a noshow punch. Truth noshowed, so neither got the win.
Group B Top Battles
Evil Freeney vs. Record.
Though Freeney walked in and out hands down with this battle, it was still fairly decent. Freeney's punch swept Record's attempt, however Record still dropped a nice punch.
Record's Punch
evil's the party type man, fuck work dudes on the doll
type of guy that gets smashed, without consuming alcohol
Evil Freeney's Punch
Group B had too many noshow's for there to be a decent amount of good battles. So were only going to do the top battle this week.I drop bitches like you on the daily but this is why hes' stun.....
Record can only drop a bitch by watching a Miss Universe rerun
Group B Top Punches
1.Evil Freeney vs. Record
I drop bitches like you on the daily but this is why hes' stun.....
Record can only drop a bitch by watching a Miss Universe rerun
2.Coop vs. Xc!usive
You'll never eclipse me & you aint nice, so who you hearin it from?
Last time he spit? It was so nasty... they had to give experiment gum
3.Philly vs. M. Pulse
i'm glad u feel this way hommie, cuz all in all this guy's an actor
n he'll only win with the chrit approach.. aka his initials backwards
4.Record vs. Freeney
evil's the party type man, fuck work dudes on the doll
type of guy that gets smashed, without consuming alcohol
5.A.J vs. Jaetalidy
The way im spitting, Jae'll catch acid breath and die of lung cancer...
Cause Jae's always out of the spotlight..like a bitches backup dancer.
Group B Power Rankings
1.Evil Freeney
2.Coop
3.Lethargic
4.Philly
5.Riga Mortis
6.Constance
7.A.J
8.Seyance
9.Heychoo
10.$inister
Conclusion
This week started off the 1-2 alright. Just next week, start showing up for your battles, step your game up, and aim for them power rankings.