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Thread: "Ghost of the Devil!"

  1. #1
    Is Gettin' Busy. Orikle's Avatar
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    Arrow "Ghost of the Devil!"

    Ghost of the Devil

    Sleepin in my bed, cold night, tucked in, awaken by a feelin that possessin pure sin,
    I open my eyes and begin to realise, that theres no-one there, my questions begin to maximise,
    What is this thing that has come to wake me? scares and frights, they givin out for free,
    I feel the wind tickle down my spine, so scared by this shit, I'm reachin down for my nine,
    I'm standing there screaming at what appears to be no-one, is this what this cat be thinkin is fun?
    I close my eyes and open them once more, and wonder did this thing come here for a war?
    This time I'ma say it out loud, "If you're there Mr.Ghost, please step out of the crowd!"
    A vision appears to me, and right now I am able to see,
    What this mystery was, right now I gotta to recheck my mind, coz,
    Is this thing fo real? Am I a mad man or is this the real deal?
    The vision begins to send its word, right now is where they begin to be heard,
    A message so obscene that I don't wanna repeat, just to listen to this cat was quite a mean feat,
    But I gotta repeat this message so yall can understand, then you can pass it down, hand by hand,
    The ghost looked sad, and said, "Was that my fucken cookie u had?"
    I was so puzzled I didn't know what to say, but I thought I better go about this in the right way,
    Although they can't do much, ghosts be fucken terrifyin, when skillz admit that he shit it, you know he aint lyin,

    I don't get scared by much, not many men as such,
    But when it comes to a ghost, well u don't wanna be the host,
    In reply to the Ghost, I said, "I eat more cookies than most,
    One mighta been yours, but I aint in the mood to be startin wars,
    Its 3 a.m you bitch, and I'm still wondeirn, does my mind have a glitch?"
    The ghost takes one more look at me, and says I'm about to give u something useful for free,
    "Mr.Skillz I'ma teach u a lesson, right here u have my blessin,
    My name is the Satan, I'm the number one cat when it come to hatin,
    U may think I can't do shit, but I can do more than just hit,"
    The vision became to me clearer, and more and more I could hear her,
    Yeah thats right as Atmosphere said she was a sexy little bitch!!
    He said he met her at a motel 6, she left hell to spend a weekend up on Earth just for kicks,
    Now he was damn right, here she was playin me a game, If I'da video taped this shit, right now I'd be claimin my fame,
    The Devil preached her shit to me again, then BOOM!!!
    I grabbed that Nine by my side, pulled the trigger and swallowed all a my pride,
    The beautiful devil laughed at me, said boy you bad, I'm givin this one for free,
    She reached down to my glock, put it on the floor and then grabbed my cock,
    I said, "Whataya you doin?!? But before she could speak I was already gluein,
    She blew me hard and then handed me a card,
    It said: I have handed you the most pleasurable time, you have now been blessed with the power to create the ultimate rhyme,
    Happiest day of my life was when the devil came to me, gave me ultimate flow, even made me blow, and still I remain free!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Last edited by Orikle; March 12th, 2003 at 06:06 AM

  2. #2
    unifire
    Guest
    nice story flow n a good vocab word use..
    keep that shit up dogg..
    peace out...

  3. #3
    Is Gettin' Busy. Orikle's Avatar
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    Yo doggs, sleepin on me hard up in here, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!
    Wake up y'all, read up on this piece and tell me what y'all think, criticism and praise is all welcome, expecially useful advice, thanky'all

    Peace Out!!!!
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  4. #4
    undone Bruklor's Avatar
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    lmao, I thought the piece was going to be all deep and shit, like have some meaning, then you flipped it, I was laughing at that.
    The idea's of this were cool. The Devil being a female,
    And the female Devil giving you head...
    And the power to write the best rhymes.
    Creative duke. And funny.

    The vision begins to send its word,
    That line...was fucking amazing, I mean, FUCKING AMAZING.
    m
    ˈpɛr ˈse


    –noun

    by, of, for, or in itself; intrinsically.

  5. #5
    Original Outlaw Domain 9's Avatar
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    ^I don't agree with Self. I thought the story was simplistic in vocab you were using childish rhymes and either I couldn't catch on to your flow or you didn't have one and I'm leaning toward the 2nd option. I got a verse a lot like this from a while back called "Night Terrors" and it had to deal with the devil and shit. It's very similar to this in a way yet different. We take a different storyline and twist. Care to see, I'll post it... but till then... elevate.

    Plus a good way to get people to reply to your stuff is to leave a good reply to their stuff. I've seen quite a few of your replies and they're half-assed like... That was tight duke, keep it up. Out.... that just sucks and people don't respect you then or they give you a shitty reply. Consider this old saying... do unto others and you want done to you... it works... trust me

    pz
    Artificial Intelligence
    *~P.U.R.E.~*
    Can't Fuck With Old School



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    Damn Girl!

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