Short and Simple

[Mav.]

Upon the window
she opens up his fear
and set sails beauty of a dove
at first sight tripping head over heels
and falling in love..
I open up my heart
and drink sips
from the fountain of death
and sew it back together
with puzzle pieces of a mess
Ive Spilled Inc of blood
and drank it back up
I have nightmares of heaven
my pen regains pain
and death soon will be a just
all i have and all i regret
my life is my whole posessin

[Messiah.]

This was decent at most man, your either not really trying or freestyling or something or the other reason your not spending enough time on your pieces. This was simple, it flowed aiight and emotion was limited. Your imagery was decent and the underlined word was ok i guess. Your not that bad a poetry you just need a little more effort and time to go into your pieces.

-Thomas.