|The Lively Margarita.|

[Chop Logic.]

|The Lively Margarita.|

Lust drips into a glass of romance,
Witch sprouts magnolias and tender grape vines
That grow along the cabin-like neck
Of a lively margarita.
The taste is dry. The seeds are tequila
Mixed with a harsh flavor so strong in scent
..it vibrates with innovation
Transforming into waves.
The ocean is so blue. In mind, but turquoise
I dip my feet in the water,
Uplifting sand and small, hundred million year old
Rocks.. born into slades.
I cannot see the shore again, but I'm comforted
By salty bed sheets that float undivided,
Cushioning my deepest anguish;
..I peer up at the white sun.
A galaxy unwinds from my puzzling gaze,
And just as stars crowd the milky way..
That one dream I've always had,
Is my only purpose in life.
A nervous night creeps upon the figure of day
Like a black dress on a pale complexion,
My soul lifted by creatures of the sea
I am trolleyed to land.
.
.

The morning awakes me. Palm trees sway,
Waving to me as I board the backseat
Now life can take me back to reality..
Since I'm just another soul,
That dares to dream.

[Chop Logic.]

iuno if anyone is familiar with scrypt, but this is my perception of it. word.

[Chop Logic.]

uppppin

[Ntalek]

I really liked this piece..It came of smoothly..I could feel the emotion and sense the imagery through your wording.I really just took a go @ this poetry...I'm more into topical..but from my Ntalek this was a good piece..

fav lines..

..I peer up at the white sun.
A galaxy unwinds from my puzzling gaze,
And just as stars crowd the milky way..
That one dream I've always had,
Is my only purpose in life.
A nervous night creeps upon the figure of day
Like a black dress on a pale complexion,
My soul lifted by creatures of the sea
I am trolleyed to land.

that part really set the tone for the ending...It was a good build up before hand...though...Nice...

RTF...Pls..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ye-337115.html

[Chop Logic.]

apreciate it yo, rtf'd.

[Chop Logic.]

higher

[Chop Logic.]

riiise. I'll RTF anything you leave me, word.

[Spoken]

i promise to hit this after my convo with wordplaya nd shit...ill edit in feed hit this though

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...re-336115.html

[Spoken]

The Lively Margarita.|

Lust drips into a glass of romance,
Witch sprouts magnolias and tender grape vines
That grow along the cabin-like neck
Of a lively margarita.
The taste is dry. The seeds are tequila
Mixed with a harsh flavor so strong in scent
..it vibrates with innovation
Transforming into waves.
The ocean is so blue. In mind, but turquoise
I dip my feet in the water,
Uplifting sand and small, hundred million year old
Rocks.. born into slades.
I cannot see the shore again, but I'm comforted
By salty bed sheets that float undivided,
Cushioning my deepest anguish;
..I peer up at the white sun.
A galaxy unwinds from my puzzling gaze,
And just as stars crowd the milky way..
That one dream I've always had,
Is my only purpose in life.
A nervous night creeps upon the figure of day
Like a black dress on a pale complexion,
My soul lifted by creatures of the sea
I am trolleyed to land.

love how you started your approach on this...a nice poem here with nice metaphors and i love how you come about things and show your progression nicely man your poem commmenced with nice emotio and very nice omagery man seriously a ground breaker and nice tacitcs of how to set things so original man... definatly a big ups on that man.. you always seem ot grab a topic and make it somewhat original in your take and that is a always a good thing in my eyes nah mean... definate plus on that man...nig ups again. your own verse here displayed nice wording though i see it a bit iffy here and there but nice ways to come about things...it made sense in nice smooth transitions ya know so great job on that man props again.

The morning awakes me. Palm trees sway,
Waving to me as I board the backseat
Now life can take me back to reality..
Since I'm just another soul,
That dares to dream.

nice lcoser sweet little note here mana nd you did a fair and nice job man.
great piece here man i love reading your pieces cus it takes me away with originality man...great job!. props again hit the link homie

[Chop Logic.]

i apreciate the feed son, ill hit that linx by the enda tonight.. word up

[Chop Logic.]

rtf'd.. but write your link was a kaotic theory piece.. maybe thats your alias? lol i still left feed im guessing you were hammed or something lmao.. uppp

[Kaotic Theory]

flaws = no emotion at all i felt but no worries this type of piece doesn't actually need it i think although it's always a plus.
positives= the imagery was very nice and i bit vivid....and made this piece more visual and interesting to the reader, the vocabulary was above average which is always good also it makes the piece more mature, nice metaphores, good context, and a decent structure which you can approve on....overall the concept and everything was original dude, and this was a solid read

[Chop Logic.]

much appreciated theory^ uppp

[Chop Logic.]

upchucked.

[Chop Logic.]

stfup.