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Thread: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

  1. #1
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    [ Blues, Jazz and Funk ]

    She was the learning process, back where I began
    to climb the fretted neck and slide back down again
    She tried to drown me, friend- it was a harsh victory
    singing in my Muddy Waters voice "O Lord, Set Me Free!"
    but the Lord didn't come, and the floods continued
    and her sadness fused deep into my muscle and sinew
    I grew strong and cold, sharecropping all my words
    and from this came a tendency to ride the minor third-
    augment the fourth, and climb her pentatonically sober
    It still seems that since that first one, my Blues are never over....

    But they recede, and shrink, and make way for other things
    namely when I met this dame who taught me how to swing
    and she'd sing, her notes would float and I'd float with `em
    So I traded in my blues scales for her syncopated rhythms
    but indecision was strong and she could never commit
    and never be sure or confident in notes that she hit
    And shit, it was difficult to just play and ignore
    the way her silken voice was brushing softly on my chords
    It was tough and I was bored of playing 2-6-5-1's
    I was all that really mattered when the song was said and done...

    So I escaped from Jazz, barely made it out alive
    and now I ride new basslines with a Bootsy Collins vibe
    The girl I'm loving now is like a life injection,
    piercing skin and pumping me up with the Mothership Connection
    with detection, I discover her delusions of my past
    and I find that she'll never listen to the blues or jazz
    but what she needs to understand is that they made me who I am
    not everything can be spacey horns and freakalicious chants
    theres a whole world of music she has yet to discover-
    and under covers, I was fortunate to inherit them from lovers

    Darling-
    One day I'll crank the stereo with Mr. Johnson or Sir Duke
    By showing you where I've been- I'll reveal myself to you.

    Thanks,
    Dr. Funkenstein


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ic-330362.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...my-329836.html
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  2. #2
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    10 reads, no replies?
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  3. #3
    Comeback Season Mariah's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    Too Bad ^

    This was my third favorite piece in SS this week. BTK and Engivale both topped this, but this was excellent. The wording was so intense that ialmost brought the picture out without even imagining it. Your wording is very well-placed and your rhymescheme and flow are on point for the most part. I'd say the storyline was straightforward, but you had nice flavor to keep it interesting. Good piece.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ol-330662.html
    Wu-Tang Forever
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  4. #4
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    Up.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  5. #5
    Whatever, Fuck You HighEngineChief's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    this was very beautifuly written. I loved you metaphores and the colorful word usages. I always like pieces about music and women but only when theyre done in the right approach, very mystical and exotic. I think this is one of the best pieces I've ever seen you do. I loved it from start to finish and i hope it dosnt get slept on.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ie-330686.html
    RTF in the link^^

    One

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    She tried to drown me, friend- it was a harsh victory
    singing in my Muddy Waters voice "O Lord, Set Me Free!"
    but the Lord didn't come, and the floods continued
    and her sadness fused deep into my muscle and sinew

    nice tight poetry type artwork you got right here..
    rhymes was strictly high-class so instantly grabbed my attention
    rythym strycture seemed near perfect....
    seems in certain lines you pushed the vocab linit rather high.not too high i guess, apart from a word or 2.ha
    internals was kept very well in order, content seemed to roll smoothly, i;d say your style and level of writing is not that much different from Brix in many aspects.so a very sort of professional write in a way........
    you breezed through some interesting concepts with originality and had on - point wording all the way

    nice write
    .................................................. ......................

  7. #7
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    thanks...up.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  8. #8
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    You worked this nice Mave. I like the way you portrayed the guitar as a chick without forcin` it. Know what I mean. It ain`t as easy as some people might think. But you did it top notch. Nice drop.

    A.i

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    *Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit

  9. #9
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    wow maven this was a well done peice man, the wordchoice and vocabulary fit in perfect with this drop the imagery was tastefully done dude damn lol escaped jazz and now doing asslines like a bootycollin's jam was sweet and put an immediate image into my head,favorite lines......
    ''So I escaped from Jazz, barely made it out alive
    and now I ride new basslines with a Bootsy Collins vibe
    The girl I'm loving now is like a life injection,
    piercing skin and pumping me up with the Mothership Connection''

    The emotion was great man nice and mellow, overall just such an enjoying peice to read do much love on this drop here keep shredding tup the open mic forum dude....

    can you plz rtf......
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-330913.html
    AI

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  10. #10
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    Loved it. The idea isn't the newest, but I really like how you did it. Great piece, Maven.
    Hence Forward
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  11. #11

    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    Purple Soda`

  12. #12
    undone Bruklor's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    The first verse was actually really sexy. I don't know if it's possible, but if you could give that inspiration, maybe people might start thinking again.

    The first couple lines of Jazz actually put the music in my head. Not sure if that was intentional, since I can never really tell with you dude, but if it was, very good. If it wasn't, pretend it was and take comfort in knowing that it made me feel really cozy inside.

    This was one of the most romantic things I've read from you Pat, possibly ever. Quite touching.
    m
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    by, of, for, or in itself; intrinsically.

  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Retarded Emcee's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    This piece was well written. I like how you wrote out everything and kept it flowing. I agree with what Bruklor said in his first two sentences. It had a nice vibe to it too. Inspired me to start writting more ish like I use to. The emotion was nice. I like how you used those elements. Great job.
    That purple and that hennessy make it clear to see they gone.

  14. #14
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    Re: [Blues, Jazz and Funk]

    nice good read man you have away of using at times such simplistic words but making them work so well thats what i love about your style packed full of information. I loved the flow and content of your verse even though concept was been done many i time you put your own original feel to it kudos

    be kind peep mine
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ta-331721.html

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