User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Taste of victory.

  1. #1
    The Mob.
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Trap House.
    Posts
    4,969
    Battle Record
    104-43
    Awards 100+ Wins

    Taste of victory.

    futers heading left we're still trying to get our past right.
    the slow darkness will eventually cover our fast light.
    we need to start clean because I keep having dark dreams.
    we can either make one movie together or part scenes.
    this is bad but we still haven't reach our worse yet.
    so we'll keep exchanging words like #'s when we first met.
    I'll be damn if somebody tells me what I feel is wrong.
    because its like steriod love........ what I feel is strong.


    Im trying to fix my reality.... I keep having broke dreams.
    sick cuz the love .....I need it physically like dope feans.
    the truth hurts but that doesn't mean we're paired liars.
    and if we are then we're not getting very far like aired tires.
    the way we are living is bad, thats why my vision is bad.
    arguments are like hard falls I guess our collision is sad.
    this bickering and hate we have I wish we can stop that.
    because if you've wasted my time I want my clock back.
    I've had it with this shit, thought it was magic in this chick.
    but I see it wasn't now your just a fling added on my list.

    the good times were pleasent we had a little scuffle.
    and the bad times well there over like us being a couple.
    the dumb weeks were just added to our smart days.
    along with my pride my heart stays but we must part ways.
    I tried ...sorry it wasn't enough effort to make this last.
    but for only one more last time I'll let our lips crash.
    visiously....just so I can get one last taste of victory.
    The words I write are oxygen to greatness.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    St.louiz
    Posts
    1,494
    Battle Record
    10-3

    Re: Taste of victory.

    this was ok i liked the flow and imagery but it couldve been a whole lot better but it was still good and so was the emotion and your wordplay was dope in this one but overall i liked it because of the flow emotion and imagery even tho i think it couldve been better than it was but its still okay stay up and keep writin

  3. #3
    deine mutter BeRLin`S BesT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Berlin City
    Posts
    896
    Battle Record
    6-1

    Re: Taste of victory.

    emotions were felt homeboy....know just how ya feel...you began very strong with this piece, with a good choice of words but then the quality of the drop kinda declined....the flow was a bit choppy here and there with a lotta switches...overall a rather simple piece....structure was ok....I'll give u a 6/10
    anyway stay up and rtf
    Hit N Run

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Victory
    By Baxter D. Wall in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: June 28th, 2008, 10:59 PM
  2. Just a taste
    By Short22 in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: December 18th, 2004, 05:29 PM
  3. Taste
    By Mesmerize in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: October 17th, 2004, 12:35 PM
  4. Last Taste
    By Se7eN in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: May 27th, 2004, 07:55 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •