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Thread: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

  1. #1
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    The Hostage Negotiation Act 1
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327008



    Hostage Negotiator:
    Kid your Eyes are Compellin', there's no Need to be Afraid
    You can Weep or Pray, but Either Way we're gonna Keep you Safe
    And then you'll See the Day when Things will be Fine
    When you can Cling to his Side and Leave this Evening Behind
    The love it Brings to your Mind will Reach it's Peak in the End
    So Seek the Peace that he'll Send, He Needs to Speak to a Friend

    Kid:
    Please don't Hurt Him, my Pops don't Hate you at All

    Hostage Negotiator:
    Nah, these Cops are Great, if he'll Cooperate with the Law
    They'll Stop and Wait for my Call, then you can Meet him in Unity
    What I Need you to Do for Me is Speak to him Truthfully
    To Keep our Community from Turnin' To a Hood
    Can you Learn to Do that Good?

    Kid:
    Sure

    Hostage Negotiator:
    I Knew you Could
    You just need to Speak with Love he's at the Peak of his Struggle
    but Keep it Subtle we don't Need him to Sink in Deeper Trouble
    I Think he'll Weep a Puddle and Wipe Away a Tear
    'Cause He's been Playin' with Fear Here every Day of the Year
    But Say it Sincere and add Rejoice in your Tone
    He'll Hear your Voice on the Phone and make the Choice on his Own
    Here's the walkie talkie look, I'm Shuttin' my Lock

    Kid:
    How Do I Work It?

    Hostage Negotiator:
    Push the Button to Talk

    Kid:
    Dad, it's me, I don't Want You to Be Mad or Pissed
    It's just Sad to Have to Be the Son To See his Dad like this

    Terrorist:
    Son, what are you Doin' Here? I thought I made it To You Clear
    I'm getting you a Souveineer, these Humans Near you Zoomin' Peerin'
    In my Room Appear to Ruin Plans I Enact on my own
    So put that Man Back on the Phone
    Before I Ransack him Alone and Lead the Attacks
    To Beat him and Feed him the Facts,

    Hostage Negotiator:
    Sir, you Need to Relax

    Terrorist:
    I don't Care what you Said 'cause I aint Scared of you Feds
    You harm a Hair on his Head and I Swear you'll be Dead
    What we were Given was Worthless, this Family's Livin' Perfect
    Maybe there's a Different Purpouse like we Didn't Deserve This
    But I've Driven the Surface to Seek a Lord to Pray To
    And made the Decision that we Need this more then They Do
    Helpin those Close to You is what You're Supposed to Do
    This might end up looking like a Game of Postal Two
    I taught my Son about the Cruxifix and Saviour of our Peace
    then we watch the News at Six and see Behaviours of our Priests
    The Rich are getting Richer robbing Money from the Poor
    Untill I'm running in a Store to Score a Twenty out the Drawer
    You need a Job to get Money you need School to get a Job, Plus
    You need Money for School, and that's how these Fools can-Rob Us
    The Problems keep Increasin' so I'm Seekin' the Answer
    For us People needin' Feedin' or a Treatment for Cancer
    They've been Given all this Stuff, but it Isn't Enough
    They aint no Different from Us, but yet they're Livin' it Up

    Cop:
    Sir, someone Inside Attested every Victom's doing Fine
    This Guy's never been Arrested or Convicted of a Crime

    Hostage Negotiator:
    Alright Listen Close to Me, you're Missin' Most of Thee Important Facts
    You're Kid's Supposed to Be in Bed, Instead of Going Forth and Back
    Reaveling Daddy's Feeling's That He's Not Allowed to Store
    Though you Fought that Route of War for him and Brought 'em Out Before
    When you Taught him 'Bout the Lord, his Birth Place and Burrial
    Don't Curse the Great Parribles 'cause Church Faith is Terrible
    Worst Case Scenerio, you Fiddled with the Nine
    They Consider It a Crime, you serve a Little Bit of Time
    It'll Riddle through your Mind and give you Rest for your Health
    Then it'd be Best for your Self to get Professional Help
    Then once the Stress has been Dealt and you can Handle this Buisness
    Check Los Angelous Listin's for Financial Assistance
    For Cancerous Victoms there's Clinical Preventions
    Stopping Synical Aggressions and Criminal Intentions
    At Minimal Expenses, it's Incredibly Fair
    You'll get your Federal Share of all your Medical Care
    Plus some Edible Fare to have a Light Snack
    To Help you Fight Back and Get you on the Right Track

    Terrorist:
    I Might Crack if you're Tellin Me the Things that I Did
    Can Bring me to Rid my Felony so I can Be with my Kid
    And See Why I Hid from the Feelings I Came Across
    Revealing I Paid the Cost for Dealing with Pain and Loss
    Concealed as the Rain can Wash the Tears from my face
    Hiding my Fears, I let my Years go to Waste
    Careers of Discrace, Driven to Hurt, Livin' Obsurd
    But I'm Positive I Heard that you'd Give me your Word

    Hostage Negotiator:
    I Promise to You Honest and True
    You'd be Astonished if you Knew what your Conscience can Do
    To Accomplish a Few of those Goals you were Tryin' to Reach
    I Know you were Dyin' to Teach this Soul that was Cryin' for Peace
    Controllin' the Lines in your Speach, your Kid's in his Youth
    Hidden from Truth, but what if someone Did this to You?
    There's Difference of View Through Your Sanity's Curse
    I Wish you Knew that what you're Doing to this Family is Worse
    I dropped the Best of Marksmen from the West Apartments
    And my Arrestin' Seargants said these Folks arent Pressin' Charges
    These People go through Seasonal Freezin' Snow to See the Show
    I but I just Need to Know that your People are Free to Go

    Terrorist:
    Keep it Low, I been Through Enough, you want a Few or Two?
    I Guess Bluffing through what's True wasn't Nothin' New to You

    Hostage Negotiator:
    I know Somethin' You could Do towards Makin' it Fair
    Come give your Son a Hug, then we'll Take it from There

    Terrorist:
    I think it's Sacred you Care cause I can't Handle the Scare
    So take a Gander over There by the Candle lit Flair
    I'm Answerin' your Prayer by Advancin' down the Stairs
    Standin Starin' at your Glare with my Hands in the Air

    Kid:

    Daddy!

    Hostage Negotiator:
    "It's Okay"

    Terrorist:
    Hey Buddy! I'm Sorry, come here

    Kid:
    I love you Dad

    Terrorist:
    I love you too

    (Applause Continues Through To fade Out)

  2. #2
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Comeback Season Mariah's Avatar
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    Re: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    Tim...much better.

    Part 2 has proven that sequels can be better than the first. The structure is still a bit stretched, but damn it was way better. I loved the word choice in this one more than I did in the last one, you really stepped it up. The flow was much better, even though choppy in some spot, but still great. I love this topic still, very dope idea, but don't drag the series out more than 5 or so. Great pick-up off the last one and I love the character progression, fits nice and makes it a lot more realistic.
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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    well i just checked out part 1 and part 2.. im impressed. and i disagree with Mariah. I dont think the structure is as stretched as shes making it appear. overall I think this flowed pretty consistant. you had a nice choice of multis. well the whole time it kept me interested. it was very entertaining. keep the good work up, man.. you droppin' a part 3? oh i got one more question to.. thats been diggin' at me. maybe i missed either dont remember reading this part (cuz both were pretty long), or it just wasnt there.... i wanna know why this dude did what he did.. just a wonder... lol

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  5. #5
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    Re: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    rise

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    this was a nice read man really long but enjoyable and was able to comprehend and figure out the situations definatly... you had a original take on it and really ook it to another level from part one man i didnt feed part one but i read it and i must say i like part 2 better..the sequel mariah has her own opinion of writing but si do i and i must disagree both were wat above average and it poves that you still have that swag that pomotes your name high.. your wording and word choice was excellent and it propelled your piece with a give and no take situation nah mean.... you hit it off nicely and neve looked back... you took control of you writing and knew when to kick in the sudden situation shift.. which was highly original with you and you own wriing i like how your getting back into writing man OM been missing you bruh welcome backa nd stay up..keep the pen tip fresh.

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  7. #7
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Re: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    This. Was. Fucking. Dope.

    I'm gobsmacked man, think this is the best shit i've ever read by you. The smooth switching between the charecters, the use of vocab was strong but not over the top. The multi's were consistently dope but never came off as forced. The imagery was clear as a fucking crystal. And the topic itself is one of the most original ideas i've read on this site since i joined.

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  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! DC aka BeRLin's Avatar
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    Re: The Hostage Negotiation Act 2

    nice...definately nice work it went all so smooth the story had no edges at all flowed very fluent...it was worded fantastically wit a great vocab...absolutely loved it...keep droppin that heat

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