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Thread: "Envy of a Shadow"

  1. #1

    Cool "Envy of a Shadow"

    "Envy of a Shadow"

    (Beat plays)

    Yo....
    I'll murder you verbally, you'll be spared into surgery
    nervously...circling Jojot like inferior mercury
    I....astound your eyeballs like watching Atlantis surface see
    confuse you to a point you'll be readin' my verses vertically
    So...I take a moment to focus on Al (Capone)nts
    whos holdin' out submachine guns to fully uphold opponents
    And....he is a hero to some crazy minded evil people
    as well as a leader screaming at the sight of pointy needles
    The...shadow created by his shoulders and his body placement
    bodies breakin' physically and mentally makes jealous hatred
    Jojot is different I'm sufficiant in inflictin' lyrics
    deep inside the souls of people, reap around their restin' spirits
    My clear saliva changes composition when I'm spittin'
    turning to acidic liquid burning through the compitition
    Emcees will envy me like gangstas envy Al Capone
    they live within the borders of our shadows, consider it home

    (Beat Plays)

    This...theory continues as delirious nonsense
    to jealous individuals who tear up their conscience
    I...destroy the envy in people to make their minds stable
    by rappin' out morals like a kind and gentle Aesop Fable
    Like broken cable, some dudes can lose their image quick
    by changing face expressions everytime confused emotions switch
    from superstars to famous athletes on the TV screen...
    ...to former enemies who grow up to be better beings
    this fuels the jealousy inside your brains capacity
    your self respect depletes and all your morals turn to ash you see
    you start to lose your pride and wander in a blank disguise
    to hide your body figure leaving holes to fit your weary eyes
    So I imply, take a realization in your values...
    ...and notice your unique in every dream that you allow through
    Now focus on escapin' the shadows of famous people...
    ...don't envy their success, It'll burden your heads cerebral
    So take a moment....envy is hate so don't reborn it...
    ...relieve your thoughts and find a place where you relax and hone it

    Peace.................

    (Beat goes...Song ends)

  2. #2

  3. #3

    Re: "Envy of a Shadow"

    bump...

  4. #4
    Situations at a struggle. Bstill's Avatar
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    Re: "Envy of a Shadow"

    i think you should focus more on imagery when you write mann it lacked that alot but vocab was intense throughout rhyme scheme could use some work, emotion wasn't that strong of a point either for this drop but you did ur thing with flow wish u would of posted what beat you were listening to so i could get a better vibe with what you were pushing across just try to focus more on the title and stop worrying about how big the words are u use within your rhyme scheme


    RTF oon
    above November Clouds
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ud-385248.html

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  5. #5

    Re: "Envy of a Shadow"

    thanks man and yeah this rap was suppose to be an audio but then i lost the beat so....also I couldnt really focus on imagery and vocab since then it would be a little hard for the listener to understand and capture in his mind...

    anyway thanks for the feed...

  6. #6

    Re: "Envy of a Shadow"

    come on!!!

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