dj...
Ghost Face
Aight...Here are the Topics...
Topics:
Murders memory
am i looking good
death and rebirth
mechanized life
forgetting who I am
(if you don't like then drop your own...)
Drop your written in 24 hours...6:53 Mountain time....
Don't worry about checkin' just drop in the 24 hours...
lets say 20-30 lines...NO PICS!!!! I REPEAT NO PICS!!!!
Good luck...
Wtf @ no pics? I never agreed to that.
check.
Empire
good luck Ghost!.
Do ya BEST My big homie dj... aint no hoe when it comes to these!
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I don't like pics...it has nothing to do with your written...it's not a picture battle...it's a written battle...Originally Posted by dj...
Forgetting Who I am...?
Lost in confusion, bleek minds seperate from pages...
positions altering, flashing hope of broken glory and gauges...
repent my losses, self righteous freaks washing out my thoughts...
replacing the facts, with things i would never think of or bought...
forgetting the reason i survive, not ment to be broken and used...
slain by insanity from secret societies, diluted for my pleasure to be amused...
I have forgotten the passion for life, inconsistant by means of judgement...
My position on the subject stands for reason, a loving father and a broken husband...
back to the basics, but i stumble at the sign of intolerance and respect...
dyslexia sets in, as excuses pour from glands not known producing intellect...
I make my own path, not knowing it's already been chosin by intolerence...
If i don't keep a clear head, how can I save myself from facts, not knowledge...
continue the rotted path, choice was selected for completing thoughtless binding...
break the mold, only to endulge in fruits of another for myself needs the finding...
from zero to hero, is only what I dream of completing, sustain the painless violence...
letting myself fall back in line, glorafied by tact mentioned in complete and udder silence...
I'm making the stand that seats the higher ups, the voice thats drowns the others...
uniting the many, in hopes it helps me to find ways to remove you of your covers...
With open eyes I can hear your inconsistant plees for a savior thats heeds your help...
I'm not the one, how can I help another pesently if I can't even find myself...
Uppin'....come on DJ...It's past the time...but imma give you a few...you didn't ask for an extension...
My bad homie, I'ma be away, I'ma need another day to drop if thats alright, I got alot of work and shit...if not just dq me, I wont be able to see your reply untill tomorrow mourning, I already started my verse though so i'll show.
pz.
Empire
it's cool, drop whenever...
it's midnight...when are you gonna drop dj...?
The Last Dance
By: Dj...
Slowly getting anxious, explore the image in the mirror, it’s faceless
Losing patience, soar as I start to wonder more … why, create it
At war, against my own, fighting my weakness, I’m speechless
Half of me tightly left into pieces, trying my best to defeat this
Stuck on her features, wanted to teach her how to be romantic
Can’t stand it, in pain her beauty flowing through my brain, its frantic
Behind me, emotions are tangled; dangled, I some how remain calm
My hearts trapped, wrapped…applying pressure, as it sits in her palms
It’s the night before prom; I’m dressed in my best, and so very excited
Can’t rest, flooding with stress, want to surprise chick, make her delighted
She offers to dance, knowing it’s my chance; mind blocked by shock I accept
My hand on her waist, stand in place, heart speeding like a race, Feeling inept
Rain & thunder, to kiss her, I’m craving with hunger, my heart skips a beat
To please her lips, I’ll paint ships & portraits; she stares with a look of discreet
‘What’s wrong babe, you look a bit upset…
…this was all a big prank; you’re nothing but a pet’
My world stops the beats of my heart drop and get weak, I can’t speak
I’m shattered, just been battered, after time went by she was all I seek
Tears start to leek, after the pain it takes, my body shakes, and I shiver
Turn to a whole, soul less figure, all the joy & happiness I tried to deliver
Lost all hope, grab tools & rope, after today it was time for the bitch to pay
Missions to cause harm, grab her arms, throw her in the back & drive away
Top of the hill, near an old mill…grab the knife, slit down her wrist, ‘Bleed’
Rub blood on my face; taken to an imaginary place, ‘take me please!’ I plead
Cover her eyes, give her a faint kiss, lost in bliss & blisters…I whisper in her ear
Forgetting who I am, I’m in heaven then I hear my name…’Daniel wake up dear’
‘…It seems it was all a dream; I wipe the tears off my face
That last chance for the dance was still a hell of a better place…’
...
Empire
Very Good Battle Here, Surprised Its Slept On, Both We're Very Discriptive W/ There Words, And Had Impecable Words. Both Came Very Good This Time.
Ghost- The Beginning Of Your Verse, Was Very Interesting, And Kept Me Interested, While Reading Throughout The Verse. You Had VERY Good Vocab. But At The End, It Felt Like You Rushed, And You Can't Rush, Especially Going Against Dj. But Don't Rush Your End Of Your Verse, Otherwise It Makes The First part, useless. But Very Good, Didn't Know You Did Topical.
Ps. We Should Battle Sometime.
Dj-Nothing Surprises Me now, Very good piece. I've worked w/ you in the past, and its easy to collab w/ you, because your Words Are Easy To Melt into The Persons Verse, To Make It Look Like Simese Twins. So Nothing Really Surprising, But The Fact That You Keep Elevating, And Elevating, As On Of The Most Respected Top. Heads On Here. Your Lines Very Discriptive, and made me VERY interested in your verse. I liked the imagery it went through your verse.
Very Close Battle But..
V/Dj..
Ghost: You kept me interested from the start, and this kept me reading properly throughout the verse. You fell off slightly at the end though, and it felt as if you had rushed it slightly. Your vocab in this piece was very good. Good drop.
Dj: This was also a very good drop. You also had a interesting verse that kept me reading. You had good discription in this piece, which added well to the important imagery. You also had some emotion in this piece, which is an important part for topical writing.
V/Dj - he had the important factors of a topical in his verse. Ghost, you did well in this battle, and I don't think I've seen you do topical before, so this was a good start. Try and bring in the emotion and imagery as these are both vital components to topical writing (why I never do it)
upp...
Empire
uppin............................................. .................................................. .................................................. ....................
NOt a great battle imo...so i'll breifly break down my reasons.
Ghost, your lines were streched to an uneeded extent, rewording would hel most of them become a little more compact and therefore assist the flow more positively.
DJ- An aight late piece nothing to great. I thought it was a goo breif read but noting attracted or interested me to it as if i've seen the basic concepts all before i reckon you should work out your ideas and come up with either older topics flipped fresh or fresh and original sub concepts.
anyhow, DJ had more of the technicals of a topical on lock than Ghost.
\/ DJ
Both leave an Honest one:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328388
Kiss me through the camera lens.TNL
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