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Thread: The Empty Stage

  1. #1
    Underdawgs on top Tebo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Kelowna, BC
    Age
    34
    Posts
    8,268
    Battle Record
    12-18

    The Empty Stage

    From baby to momies angel a little stranger
    Grew up gracefull mind & thoughts distastefull
    Filler
    Stagefright with no stage errased her, replaced her
    For nobody knew who she was they cussed & swore
    More quiet every night confused & abused she was forced
    Because of course she was older now & couldn't get a divorce
    Filler
    So she mourned sipped alchohol 'til the mornin' to forget
    The bruises & beatin's she was receivin' like due morgage
    Payments & court statements financial issues were engaged
    & probably for the rest of her life 'til death off the empty stage
    Filler
    S'when
    Life
    End
    Last edited by Tebo; February 14th, 2007 at 05:43 AM Reason: Add more

  2. #2

  3. #3
    very,very old dude
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    322
    Battle Record
    1-1

    Re: The Empty Stage

    This was a pretty bland topic to be honest, it was too short (I actually dont think it meets the minimum amount of lines to be posted) but the rhyme scheme was simple, there was no great usage of vocab, some of it seemed forced towards the end, its obvious that you didnt put much time into it but if you developed the story more or added more to it, it could be better.

    hit up Friend?

  4. #4
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

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