Belligerant VS ab0ve *Topical: Rematch*

[Soule]

Lines: 60 Max
Topics:

Sword In A Stone
A Legends End
Cut My Heart In Two
Bitter Better War
The Night I Died
When She Left Me
Diamonds
Slave Office
Dark Sky
Poets' Diary

Due: Tomarrow Midnight

G'Luck dude, dont no show please.

[Soule]

EDITED

Lines: 60 Max
Topics:

Sword In A Stone
A Legends End
Cut My Heart In Two
Bitter Better War
The Night I Died
When She Left Me
Diamonds
Slave Office
Dark Sky
Poets' Diary

Due: Tomarrow Midnight

G'Luck dude, dont no show please.

SS and IE Votes only.

[Brandon Cee]

check...

[Soule]

Cherk..
When you droppin? I'll drop when ever you gonna.

[Brandon Cee]

Imma drop tonight...40 lines

[Soule]

kk..i'll even it up.

[Soule]

Poet
A meaning
From beatings
Left in the past
They've gone by fast
We only write our minds
Flowing way back into time

My diary reveals my send ins
Honest truths that are endless
Sinnings that are meant for saints
I paint my room for the good taint
I have no idea where I went wrong
The devil enjoys my poetric songs
I believe in the face of god's angels
But a gaurdian? Please save Jon Dagel
I write in this diary to reveal the needs
As poets write these days, poets bleed

Now as we prosper the day grows dark
My dairy ends with my poetry in art
A diamond formed peice, perfected
But my readers will find it rejected
So until the day grows by
I write in my diary *sigh*
A writer done
I've won
Diary

[Brandon Cee]

"Let it be known...all men are created equal."

The words of this man, made us all the same
Yet the world runs well, without the change
Without the rage, but the animosity still here
Weapons of man, fall of man, we instill fear
Believing in what we hate, mistreating all
Claiming to protect, while beaten like dolls
In the seal of the MAN I'm sold to another
The envelope and I, such different colors
Once recieved, sent to work endless time
I feel my shame as the sun beckons mine
The sands of the desert blinded my eyes
Immaculate splendors were out of sight
Playing a friend while I am pacing the steps
To places unmet as I'm making amends
Now aching again, flesh flogged and torn
Pain to all who suffer and those unborn
But the pain is unfair, no longer suffering
And we live life in harmony now like it's nothing
By taking on a new phase, thought it's hard
Now we are respected, for what we are

"Let it be known...all men are created equal."

[FONT=Tahoma]SLAVE OFFICE[/FONT]

[Brandon Cee]

shit sorry...messes up the font shit at the end...but oh well...thanks for the battle dude

[Forum]

This was a very nice battle here....

Belligerent damn it must've took you some time to get that structure..DOPE...Your overall content was very well written...the emotion was felt in this piece.....your choice of wording allowed me to grasp you're reasons for writing...nice job..

Above...I really got into your piece....the rhyme scheme and flow was great...you did an aiight job on the multi's...the emotion was display very well...for the length of the piece you really did a good job utilizing the lines with very descripitive wording.

v- Belligerent...

[Warming]

belligerant, while your structure is exquisitely shaped the content is essentially meaningless-its a diary that doesn't even a finish a coherent thought because its trying so hard to make short lines

above-came with more advanced rhyme schemes/flow and vocab and a merely average approach to his topic- but its enough for a comfortrable win

hit up my OM

[Warming]

and post the freaking vote requirement (300)

[Penlord.]

First of all your structure looks like shit, literally. i mean, peep it:

Poet
A meaning
From beatings
Left in the past
They've gone by fast
We only write our minds
Flowing way back into time

My diary reveals my send ins
Honest truths that are endless
Sinnings that are meant for saints
I paint my room for the good taint
I have no idea where I went wrong
The devil enjoys my poetric songs
I believe in the face of god's angels
But a gaurdian? Please save Jon Dagel
I write in this diary to reveal the needs
As poets write these days, poets bleed

Now as we prosper the day grows dark
My dairy ends with my poetry in art
A diamond formed peice, perfected
But my readers will find it rejected
So until the day grows by
I write in my diary *sigh*
A writer done
I've won
Diary

you dropped the bomb and I don't mean the words you wrote. But like, other than that, it had MINOR forms of poetry in it. I really didn't feel much of it, considering the one word starter and ender, those are key points of every piece, not just poetry, but that even goes as far as audio and text, or graffiti on the side of the street.

Alright, now onto read Above's..

he had (of course barely any imagery, considering this piece was less story line based) but I believe, he was more creative. Both of you kinda .. need to work on your poetry. Got me?

lol..

but vote - Ab0ve

[Sp1Tz]

Breakdown::

Structure:: Billigerent
Detail:: Above
Meaning:: Above
Imagery:: None
Emotion:: Above

Overall, it just looked like Above put more time into his verse, I just think that Above was more right to the point than Billigerent was. So my vote goes to Above for a well done verse. I believe this battle was closer than the breakdown shows. It wasn't really too much of a difference in verse just a slight edge. Really this battle could go either way.

Fav Lines

Billigerent

Now as we prosper the day grows dark
My dairy ends with my poetry in art

Above

Now aching again, flesh flogged and torn
Pain to all who suffer and those unborn

Vote: Above

[Soule]

IE and SS member only!

Fucking learn to read.

I'll cout the Forum and Penlord vote..but the rest can fuckk off.
Upp1. Nice verse ab0ve.