User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Product of Entertainment

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Product of Entertainment

    Product of Entertainment

    Is It…

    Hot to listen to them wheezy lines- sleazy crimes
    Sneaky dimes- foreign- buy 2 for a dime-fun times
    I wish upon a falling star—clearing ills pooled
    Stilled & cooled—by governors, stooped in bills
    Cooped with fills—of flesh—flaming their thighs
    Thunder legs- caresses Mister. Over fed, she sighs
    Only place was the skin trade—couldn’t afford a car
    Until she lost inhibitions—exhibitions of a porno star
    Falsely accused against will- displeasured at large
    En Masse- un-classy—no scripts just tackle & barge
    Thunder thighs grew tired— she put on the outfit
    worked extra hours—watched upon in hardship
    -Sir Lard dipped- hard nipped—gasped then slipped
    Flipped her over—director catered to a sandwich
    And hitched—filled the salad with a free dress-ing dip
    Mess-ing with—positions—submissive in intermission
    She gasped for air being throttled in playful submission
    she grew tired again- Thunder thighs went depressed
    She stressed at little things-such as her co-stars instead
    Of cleaning her bed—powder all over her duvet spread
    Was it—dawn or dusk—maybe neither—a cokehead
    Quite after the storm—thunder overdosed-in disgrace
    The director planned in haste—who’d fill her place
    Not even a last minute warning- well she was an ace
    Cased away the movie- began a new show--impressed
    At a flowering beauty—perfect—audience forget the rest
    Another star gone—shot down by bad company & much
    fuss—she took drugs—died--to be filled by another such

    Is it…


    Perfect the way it is—played a prop—bit actor never hit
    High times—the one to seduce the one with past lines
    Such as—“Oh, please..Don’t”— felt an ass with his skills
    Straight out of drama school—baring to pay bills
    Stayed filled—embarrassed—heated with movie lights
    Slipped over his co-star—red faced—he fights
    “Go on, for Christ sake, bring the climax—impotent fool”
    Did he learn this at school—nope—burned but acted cool
    Oblivious—to his environment—sweaty with false lust
    his feel-ings burst-BANG!-“That’s it—cut, perfect just
    next time be more accurate”—matter of fact he must
    watch her cry—then wipe his love off her eyes
    He calls—“Thunder..You okay”—dismayed by his reaction
    the director disbars him from action—intimate interaction
    Societies a mean faction—Joe Public loves- his bad fun
    excited out of oxygen—pressed by the actors genuine feel
    Though more impressed—by the females earnest appeal
    Agreeable—his inner furnace—blew with burning zeal
    Tired he switched off—changing the channel to MTV
    Tricked his old Wifey, into believing he’s a music lover see
    She leaves him to watch from her system—big screen
    Flat-HDTV—so he puts up with her—for incentives seen
    he heard his favorite female star died—overdosed as much
    never woke up, though she will be easily filled by such
    Beautiful women-like the one he just saw----
    Joe Public never again remembered- the thunder “whore”

  2. #2

  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    Bumpy Knuckles.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Blacc817's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    SouthSide Murda Worth TX
    Age
    40
    Posts
    60

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    man this wuz some long ish. i like the first one but the second drop OMG

    Go on, for Christ sake, bring the climax—impotent fool”
    Did he learn this at school—nope—burned but acted cool

    lmao i liked that ill spit though.

    ~1~ Iksentrik AkA Blacc

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    Thanks.

  6. #6
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    Ok, the wordplay was very nicely done and you put the right words in the right spots. The Flow was constant and great. the Emotion was deep and incredible. The Imagenation was good. The Creativty was good and carried out the easy to read structre. The Story line was awsome man, I liked this peice alot, keep it up.

  7. #7
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    5by7cell, upstate
    Age
    42
    Posts
    39

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    nice long but was enjoyable to read
    flowed well good concept overall
    stayed consistant with your structure
    8/10 ....
    hope U got Skillz.

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    Thanks.

  9. #9

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    I liked the overall of this, for some reason it seems like this concept has been coming up quite a bit recently. I actually just did a piece within this sphere recently for ss. the only thing about this that I didn't like was the fact that a lot of times, it seemed like the content was entirely written for you. it was just there without a single thought or courtesy of the reader what so ever. so many places I just found myself lost, yet, it would follow up with something I really liked. so for me, I was constantly up and down with this. overall I liked it though, I just wish it was more consistant to a scheme and coherence. nice to see you back though.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=324274
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  10. #10
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    idk if the concept has come up recently as i haven't been fully active..i thought it was original ah well... thanks nonetheless i'll get the link as soon as possible.

  11. #11
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    boston
    Age
    33
    Posts
    6,748
    Battle Record
    64-44

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    lol @ calling the porn star thunder thighs and thunder whore. cool idea and concept of getting into the scenery. i was really feeling the imagery i could picture the setting just by the way you worded the details together. nice flow, some multis, the structure was a lil large, but slim if i quote it. the emotion has to be the only thing you should work on. the choice of vocab was very descriptive and helped the imagery out intentionally. nice drop.

    plz RTF with some honest feed
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=324139
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! StoOoOne420's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Saskabush=P
    Age
    35
    Posts
    132

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    "calling the porn star thunder thighs and thunder whore." i liked that too hahaa
    n it was real long n awesome everyword... ur shiit is mad dope

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  13. #13

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    how about that link B-ron?
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  14. #14
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Product of Entertainment

    Will do...been sorting sonme stuff out will get it bfore end of week aight.

Similar Threads

  1. Product of my Environment
    By Punchline-Boy15 in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: February 13th, 2009, 06:23 AM
  2. Windows XP Product Key
    By KushGod in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: December 18th, 2007, 09:58 AM
  3. Product of the Slums
    By ~LyRiCaL-JeZuS~ in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: January 1st, 2004, 04:29 PM
  4. B.R.E product. MR Fearless.
    By Genetikz in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: July 4th, 2003, 12:41 PM
  5. **The aWaKeniNg** FiNiSheD ProDuCT
    By AlcaTrakz in forum The Studio
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: September 11th, 2002, 09:00 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •