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Thread: what can't Toll do?

  1. #1
    deathtoll
    Guest

    what can't Toll do?

    topic - you find out your best friend and your girl have been having an affair. how do you react? what do you do? what do you say? how do you feel? etc etc



    Got of the phone, just spoke-with-a-dude, after he broke-me-the-news
    My girls been fuccin around, guess I got some smoking-to-do
    Hope he’s spoken-the-truth cause someone’s gonna get broken-and-bruised
    Not gonna just approach-and-then-shoot…that shit~would~be~weak
    I know we argue but I must have done something shitty~to~cheat
    And to think, I was wishing~to~speak, about the fact I haven’t hit~it~in~weeks
    My best friend and my girl!?! Sentenced to death and I’m-the-jury
    Filled-with-fury, start heading round to her house, hadn’t made~a~plan
    Blade~in~hand, I swear to you God I fuckin’ hate~this~man
    His car outside her crib, that bitch for a dudes-gon’-die
    And that slut for a girl, for what’s she’s done I wanna see her bruised-and-sliced
    Walk in the door, 8inch blade makes my intentions-clear
    “What are you doing here?” she screams, confidence in her voiced dressed-in-fear
    Her eyes shed-a-tear…”Would you have told me if my boy hadn’t spied~and~informed~me?”
    “Answer my question bitch, don’t even try~and~ignore~me!!!”
    He walks in disturbed by commotion, “Get the fuck out!” He cried-and-blurted
    I want justice and I’m the guy-to-serve-it, one swift slice and my knife’s-inserted
    He’s done for, my old best friend hits the floor~bleeding, time for her-to-die
    This fuckin’ whore’s~screaming, oblivious to her words cause all she’s done is serve-me-lies
    Time to return-the-spite…raise~the~knife turn the blade~and~strike
    My ex lover’s body hits the floor….drained~of~life
    Can’t believe what I’ve done…head filled with guilt, tears-on-my-cheeks
    Hear sirens in the distance…start to fear-tha-police
    Paranoia attacks, my visions been distorted~for~a~while my thought’s~going~wild
    Blood on my hands, a dropped blade and two corpses~in~a~pile


    So now I’m scum, I deserve to die…the evil that the Lord-sends-to-hell
    But that’s the future, for now I’ll go back to telling stories-from-a-cell


    “lights out prisoners”

  2. #2
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    England
    Age
    40
    Posts
    13
    That was ill. Some top lines in there. I was really feeling it. It flowed tight throughout.
    Tell yo i wouldn't wanna be your best mate if yo in a bad mood. lol.

    Well done, top rhyme.

    Peace
    No matter how many dams you build, you'll never stop the river flowing!!!!

  3. #3
    Alias-C
    Guest
    Hot from start to finish...
    yo the flow was hot, just consistent, never slowed it down...
    almost every rhyme in every line is on point...
    and you pull that storytelling style off pretty well too...
    notin' bad I can say bout this one... shit was ill man, no doubt...
    Much props man... keep spittin... Peace

  4. #4
    deathtoll
    Guest
    thanks for the replies....up

  5. #5
    deathtoll
    Guest
    upwards ^^^

  6. #6
    Newbie -opia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Sutter Creek
    Age
    37
    Posts
    29
    maybe its just me, but im not really feelin this... its too basic

  7. #7
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Witchita , KS.
    Age
    42
    Posts
    21
    i thought it was pretty good...it showed alot of feelings that everyone has had at one time or another. And rhymed words most don't try to.
    ~*The one and only choice is the one and only voice*~

  8. #8
    endovidualmind
    Guest
    i agree with all the cats above yo, except i was feeling this piece!

    ill shit man ,ill be on the lookout for your shit!

    ~1~

    hit up my post too!

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