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Thread: Dissecting A Murder

  1. #1
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Dissecting A Murder

    Dissecting a Murder

    by


    John Morrison



    C
    R
    I
    M
    E

    D
    R
    A
    M
    A

    P
    U
    B
    L
    I
    S
    H
    I
    N
    G


    Dedicated to
    the Masses

    9
    Misanthropic and I’m missin’ the tropics,
    Razorblade fiasco in my wallet and chewing gum in my pocket,
    Thick sunglasses over a killer’s eyes, except no one knows
    he’s a killer. Standing so close in my proximity and dizziness
    overwhelms the ignorant. Blink. Island breeze.
    The sedative.
    Cough.
    The plastic pass-off credit card.
    Encouraging smile.
    The sting.
    Revolver is not loaded – the fraction of a murderer.
    The kill.
    The serum. Period. The end.

    10
    New identity revolves the Beretta around the enemy,
    But the clean shaven morning musk man I can’t begin to be
    is the winner – me.
    Cayman Island account. Reinhart transfers at twelve
    and the novel hits the final chapter. There are no author
    headers at the end. Maybe a fake alias and the
    surname are dead ringers for a person as faded
    like the wash on a dead man’s jeans.
    Decapitated emotions and a mechanical
    notion. Killing machine circuitry is a
    haywire function. Period. The end.

    The mood is garish.

    Trash. Complete trash. Garbage in a sea
    of crumpled papers. Perpetrators imitating me.
    Yes. A Schizophrantic fugue.

    Prologue preemie. The endurance of coffee
    and sleeping pills is like a stakeout, trying to
    find the right words to say at the computer
    monitor. The insomnia is impressive – yet
    old. Writers are always this eccentric, yes.
    They are always a little off.

    "Honey, come back to bed." She nags.

    "Shut up, Cathie."

    "What?"

    "I said, I’ll be there in a moment."

    "Erm." Lover's drone.

    Difficulties. Sometimes the switch
    is almost involuntary. My hand itches
    for the Beretta. That’s right, Cathie. The gun
    I purchased without you knowing.

    Blurring into a dead man’s post mortem.
    The state is serene like dawn napalm in
    ‘Nam. Killing antics.

    "Honey!" Cathie urges.

    "Shove it, Cathie." I spit

    "What?" I've been married too long.

    "I said, I love you baby." Lover's croon.

    "Yeah, I bet."

    The perfect mystery cannot
    be read and reread by the author.
    It is like a curse, like seeing the
    bride before the marriage.

    Writer’s block.

    Asleep and drooling.

    I wake up and I don’t know where I
    am. It is harder to find myself than to
    find where I lie.

    "Cathie, did you place me in the woods
    holding a Beretta towards a bound man?" Inquisitve rain.

    "What ever are you talking about?"

    "You know, very well what I am talking about." Switch ravel.

    Bang!

    The Final Chapter

    Crooked demeanor of a smile, and twisted
    face. Follow a sextant of a crime.

    Cathie slumps. The gun drops. I return to my
    position at the desk. I bang my hand on the keyboard
    and return to the bed, where Cathie lies in a
    peaceful sleep. My breathing is raspy and my
    voice is a hoarse roar. In an oblivious state, I
    proclaim, “Sometimes the things you love are
    forever. Sometimes they are temporary. But everything
    you love will not make it –“The trigger is pulled.
    Period. The end.

    I guess mystery writers are not supposed
    to double as murderers. I knew the role all
    too well.

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  2. #2
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Up. You people are lazy.

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  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    WEll the vocabulary was very high and some words floated over my head lol...but yeah this is a style i've seen before though where i have no idea, but the way it's used in this is near excellent, you really are getting the hang of delivering dope consistantly, what i really liked was the last haf the whole murder situation na mean. That was vivid enough to put characters in my mind, like i could picture the wife and the husband actually speaking out the dialouges, dialouges are a hit or miss, a hit in this though. The frist two lines, the opener was dope the way your rhymed there that was very clever...so yeah, overall i really liked it, nice job na mean.

    couple of comments, thanks
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=316128

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