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Thread: Hurt

  1. #1
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Hurt

    "I will make you hurt"


    - Johnny Cash


    the chorus on this piece was took from johnny cash's Hurt


    I've driven you away, i see it in your face
    Just like the rest, whom you have replaced
    My minds erases you, I feel the hate bloom
    But i can still hear your voice, still smell your perfume

    What have I become, My sweetest friend
    Everyone I know goes away, In the end
    And you could have it all, My empire of dirt
    I will let you down, I will make you hurt

    Your memories feel the air,I'm Lomsome in the dark
    The taste of hurt still new, i hear our last remarks
    I've dreamnt so much of you,Tearing at my mind
    My heart still low and beaten, but i keep it confined

    What have I become, My sweetest friend
    Everyone I know goes away, In the end
    And you could have it all, My empire of dirt
    I will let you down, I will make you hurt

    I realize now love is hurt, my faults drive me to the pain
    The rain greets me in hell, i fear that i've gone insane
    Without you i'm stung by death, You brought life to me
    I feel the grasp of dark, i hear the angel's symphany

    What have I become, My sweetest friend
    Everyone I know goes away, In the end
    And you could have it all, My empire of dirt
    I will let you down, I will make you hurt

    AI

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  2. #2
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    AI

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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! J-killa's Avatar
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    this is good
    JuMp OfF

  4. #4
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    This was aiightish coming from you Truth. I've seen better from you though. Ya rhyme scheme was basic and the vocab was 2. The emotion was there but not strongly emphasized. It was worded well though and seemed no need for large vocab at points yet it still could've brought some points to life. because this was a short piece it wasw coo. if longer then the above would have needed to be emphasized. Keep it ^ RTF on TEARS SHADE RED. That's a collab I did wit Sylus. itz dope.

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