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Thread: 2day Will Lead In 2morrow

  1. October 28th, 2006, 11:40 AM #1
    Don Q
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    2day Will Lead In 2morrow

    All I need and want is for people to realize and to dignify
    that Snic will not die, possibly homicide? thinking genocide, just to implify
    that... a new day will lead in to a new tomorrow
    pensive reactions of sadness, will surely bring the lives to sorrow
    deterioration is hell's key and Satan's infamous, famous motto
    quite frankly, I'm starting to study the bible and to borrow...
    my conception of exception of my behavior leading to complexion
    not even arnica can treat the bruises of my lifetime plus my obsession
    of...lust, envy, hate and jealousy
    four out of the seven deadly sins that I committed, soul is not heavenly
    but Lord forgive me
    ...of my actions becuace they live through me
    world violence, America's violence, being devil's advocate wont soothe me
    but being incorruptible unlike these organizations will certainly move me
    of why? why in God's name do we live in this demonic world
    not using his name in vane but the past, present, future...are in a twirl
    why? just why?why?why?why?why?...........................
    ...........I look into the heavens and happily give out out a sigh..............
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  2. October 28th, 2006, 11:42 AM #2
    Don Q
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...54#post5243354
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...50#post5243350
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  3. October 28th, 2006, 11:44 AM #3
    Don Q
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    uppin need feed. come on i need this
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  4. October 28th, 2006, 11:44 AM #4
    Don Q
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    give me your opinion, statements, something.
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  5. October 28th, 2006, 12:14 PM #5
    Don Q
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    come on.
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  6. October 28th, 2006, 02:16 PM #6
    Wyte..
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    This was an okay read. I feel that it could have been a lot better. I liked the topic though. I just feel that you didn't put enough effort into writing this. Some of the lines could have used more metas and wordplay. Creativity could also been a lot better. Overall this was an piece that could have been a lot better.
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  7. October 28th, 2006, 03:18 PM #7
    mc pyro.
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    this was a good peice the topic was interesting liked the way you questioned the worlds standing and how you realted rea life and the past to things like deamons, the vocab in this was exellent saw some great words throughout the peice and wording for the most part was nice especilly towards the middle it was sick as fuck there but i noticed in the beggining and maybe the last line you could have improved the wording the flow was great and came along well i cant reallyl say there was any points where it stopped short or was choppy last of all and what i thought was best in this was the rhyming saw a lot of multis and a good complex rhyme scheme
    great job stay up
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  8. October 28th, 2006, 05:28 PM #8
    Don Q
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    thank you all. i appreciated it. i will keep up with ya's om's.
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  9. October 29th, 2006, 10:58 AM #9
    J-killa
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    good, but yea it couldve been a lil betta
    JuMp OfF
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  10. October 29th, 2006, 04:30 PM #10
    Don Q
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    thanks, more uppin please
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  11. October 29th, 2006, 04:38 PM #11
    Spoken
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    this was a nice piece...nothing wow about it or anything...the vocab was good but seemed too forced and some lines were stretched...but you did but emotion into this and how you had questions with suggestions with a flow asa n asset was real creative something not new but creative for you on your part of the piece ya know....but nice drop all together just try getting your words to FIT more in rather than seem forced.

    also redo your feed on my piece cus honestly you dont make sense...get the rhyme scheme and see where the words end and rhyme fool its ababab
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE
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  12. October 29th, 2006, 04:41 PM #12
    Don Q
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    lol, aight, uppin for more
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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  13. October 30th, 2006, 11:39 AM #13
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    This was aiightish for you. The emotion was displayed. overall vocab was coo. missing a few multi's and had a few stretched lines. topic was good. could've tooken a different approach on it I think. but overall this is an advancement piece you look at your mistakes on this one and capitalize on them the next one. ya dig.

    RTF plz.


    Battles I need closed

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  14. October 31st, 2006, 03:49 PM #14
    Don Q
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    uppin
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.
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