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Thread: The hoax of creation.

  1. #1
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    The hoax of creation.

    As once you kissed the fork in the road,
    Now I guess you’ll consol the nails of ambition.
    Forcefully yours for the legacy of time
    The healer’s hands of sin shall turn water into wine!

    ‘Forgive them father, for they know not what they do’

    ‘Crossed’ out from life, whipped in leather garments!
    A crown of rose stem needles,
    Shatter the hoax of mankinds creation,
    Some even say he’s the Son of God, I say there’s no relation!

    His darling a body seller,
    Hardly the deeds of greater mans labour,
    His Childs tale says that’s a ‘sin’…
    Then I guess we humans did his dear ‘father’ a favour!

    You may call me blasphemies, hopefully a realist…
    If you will! I merely don’t see the attraction in
    A guilt trip book of ignorant quotes…
    Kind of ironic don’t you think? As it’s a book we humans WROTE.

    Sunday is for sleeping, not for worshipping a statue,
    Or crying at the feet of stone,
    Un cradle your hands prisoner!
    For god has abandoned his ‘throne’.

    The son of Lucifer wept whilst walking along side 12 sheep in the valley of the shadow of death.

    The god of all acceptance,
    equality in the essance of the word...
    yet stopped caring atthe sixth quarter,
    so if 'man' is in the image of god, was it by accident he birthed a daughter?
    Last edited by Poeta Demonio; October 23rd, 2006 at 09:49 PM
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    As once you kissed the fork in the road,
    Now I guess you’ll consol the nails of ambition.
    Forcefully yours for the legacy of time
    The healer’s hands of sin shall turn water into wine!


    loved your opener nice multies in here with a nice metaphorical phase attached...

    i liked thi spiece cus it had alot of twist and turns and complexity yet i could relate nd understand without having to ponder what a word means or like what he is trying to say..this ppiece was well brought to its extent and well executed to its very own originality..

    ‘Forgive them father, for they know not what they do’

    ‘Crossed’ out from life, whipped in leather garments!
    A crown of rose stem needles,
    Shatter the hoax of mankinds creation,
    Some even say he’s the Son of God, I say there’s no relation!

    His darling a body seller,
    Hardly the deeds of greater mans labour,
    His Childs tale says that’s a ‘sin’…
    Then I guess we humans did his dear ‘father’ a favour!

    You may call me blasphemies, hopefully a realist…
    If you will! I merely don’t see the attraction in
    A guilt trip book of ignorant quotes…
    Kind of ironic don’t you think? As it’s a book we humans WROTE.

    ^^
    nice internal rhyming and wordings in here those were my fav. stanzas..you didnt cramp nothing in any way possible you evenly assorted your wordings and made sure it fit right into place...loved the emotion in this piece as it was everywhere it was on a mission to make the reader feel and get more intact with the storyline which made this an even better piece...the vocab was great nothing over used nor did anything not belong....nice job man i havent seen your write in a while...

    RTF if you could mr. mentor
    samantha c. hensley!
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Yeah sure, I'll do it when i get back man.

    Upping.
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    iight man thanks.
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  5. #5
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    your back on...hhm.....
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  7. #7
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Quit pestering foo.

    I'll get to it. lol.
    AI


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  8. #8
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Upping.
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    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  9. #9
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    *is egar for more feed*
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

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